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Eskay Jones

Can a baby save a relationship?

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Me and the missus have been going serious issues. shes due next month we've planned to move into our flat the week after but for the past 2months everything has been a headache, I blame the stress of being pregnant but nothing can change a mans swayin feelings or can it?Im not the type to leave i will stick it out for the sake of a newborn regardless of my feelings but can it work? im in two minds and day by day the more i dwell on the issue the more i feel the need to invent a time machine

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Boy I remembred you said your missus was expectin and when I saw the title I HOPED for your sake the topic wasn't related to youThe answer is NO, it almost always makes things worse in one way or another, its like papering over the cracksneither of you will be happy (if its the kid keeping you together) and it probably isn't whats best for the kid either, having said that its hard to say without knowing whats wrong BUT then some issues are temporary, you could be mad stressed, her aswell, and she will be feeling worse with the pregnancy, the hormones make it like some 9 month long bout of PMSThen when you see her give birth to something the two of you have created, you will remember all the reasons you fell in love with her and the stress (of the past) will be forgottenTHEN comes years of gruelling stress that the child will bring and if that child is the one reason you are forcing yourselves to be together you as a couple will NOT be strong enough to go through thatI doubt there is really anything that can 'save' a relationship except for the two individuals desire, respect and love for eachother etc.I wish you luck buddy

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I always promised myself in life, if i ever had a child i'll never leave it for as long as im breathin my pops was never hardly around i know first hand the importance of a male figure so even the idea of leaving a child to be raised alone makes me fall to my knees in agony. i just couldnt.

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This thread was done once before and i stick to my guns. A baby can only prolong the inevitable, it'll cover up the cracks for awhile but as time goes on the same problems or issues you have now will work themselves back around. Im not saying you shouldn't give it a chance. I'm just saying if the baby is used to cover the cracks then the odds are against you. Realistically sorting those issues before the baby comes would be the right way forward..if they can be resolved that itCongrats though on fatherhoodedit f*ck you cipher beating me to the punch

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Boy I remembred you said your missus was expectin and when I saw the title I HOPED for your sake the topic wasn't related to youThe answer is NO, it almost always makes things worse in one way or another, its like papering over the cracksneither of you will be happy (if its the kid keeping you together) and it probably isn't whats best for the kid either, having said that its hard to say without knowing whats wrong BUT then some issues are temporary, you could be mad stressed, her aswell, and she will be feeling worse with the pregnancy, the hormones make it like some 9 month long bout of PMSThen when you see her give birth to something the two of you have created, you will remember all the reasons you fell in love with her and the stress (of the past) will be forgottenTHEN comes years of gruelling stress that the child will bring and if that child is the one reason you are forcing yourselves to be together you as a couple will NOT be strong enough to go through thatI doubt there is really anything that can 'save' a relationship except for the two individuals desire, respect and love for eachother etc.I wish you luck buddy
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I always promised myself in life, if i ever had a child i'll never leave it for as long as im breathin my pops was never hardly around i know first hand the importance of a male figure so even the idea of leaving a child to be raised alone makes me fall to my knees in agony. i just couldnt.
Boy there is a difference innitYou can still be AROUND and not with your girl and vice versaYa shouldnt beleive that all men that are not with the mother of their child are waste porchmonkeysIt might not be enough for you but if you arent in the relationship and she is the one with the baby make sure you have INFLUENCE over them, make sure you are there a LOT and make sure you PROVIDE for themyou dont owe the kid a relationship with the mother but you do as a man have to do all of the above, you jus gotta make sure things arent difficult with the mom otherwise that will f*ck up the whole situation up and if the mother, the one who is mostly with the kid has a BAD OPINION of YOU then the kid will begin toit should never be a situation where the baby doesnt know your name or what you do or where you live and it should NEVER be a situation that (even though some females will do this regardless) the baby mom has REASON to trash talk you in regards to the treatment of youse twos kidThis is why having a baby is no small decision, its something people should be commited to for the rest of their lives or shouldnt even think of undertaking, though i understand accidents happen
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If the issues have only arisen over the last 9 months it could just be cos she's pregnant an hormones are raging.. See how it goes enit, having a kid obviously changes ppl's perspective on life, so it may be a change for the betterGood luck fam an i hope it all works out for the best..

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The biggest question in all this is what are the actual problems and if you have discussed (or at least attempted) this with your partner. Without talking about your problems before this baby pops out it's only going to delay the inevitable. Which could also make things bitter if it ever comes to discussing access to the child if you two are no longer together.

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You can still be AROUND and not with your girl and vice versaYa shouldnt beleive that all men that are not with the mother of their child are waste porchmonkeys
I understand where man is comin from tho tbh.. But even the best part time dad, is stil a part time dad.. Try ur best to make it work
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You can still be AROUND and not with your girl and vice versaYa shouldnt beleive that all men that are not with the mother of their child are waste porchmonkeys
I understand where man is comin from tho tbh.. But even the best part time dad, is stil a part time dad.. Try ur best to make it work
My point exactly. them sentimental times such as tucking your kid into bed every night, making your child breakfast, brushing their teeth etc etc i'll miss i just couldnt.Problems have been on-going for a few months now, she has jus a negative outlook on everything, ive tried everything to keep her calm, relaxed but nothing seems to work.im startin to think she has natal-depression of some sort.
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Yea its very likely she could have prenatal depression but its one of those things thats rarely diagnosed or recognised by some doctors so it goes unnoticedIf it really is just she has a terrible outlook and is depressed that try not to let that weigh too heavily on YOUR mind, I mean she IS pregnant, it can't be a pleasant situation to be in, and what with you moving house, and the added stress of she is a woman and therefore a drama queen there is bound to be troubleBut you the man in the relationship you gotta be a rock during these timesI'd say dotn contemplate leaving your girl because she is having hormonal tantrums but you don't seem too, if at all enthusiastic about the actual idea of having a baby with HER? I mean none of the 'sentimental' moments you mentioned involved you, the baby AND her if ya know what I meanDo you still care for her in the same way, all of your fed-upness and frustration side?

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You can still be AROUND and not with your girl and vice versaYa shouldnt beleive that all men that are not with the mother of their child are waste porchmonkeys
I understand where man is comin from tho tbh.. But even the best part time dad, is stil a part time dad.. Try ur best to make it work
My point exactly. them sentimental times such as tucking your kid into bed every night, making your child breakfast, brushing their teeth etc etc i'll miss i just couldnt.Problems have been on-going for a few months now, she has jus a negative outlook on everything, ive tried everything to keep her calm, relaxed but nothing seems to work.im startin to think she has natal-depression of some sort.
It very well could be.. Dont be too hasty.. Talk to a doctor on ur own and get advice from them, before u bring it to her attention u think she has natal depression.. Cos if u break the news to her wrong then thats one more problem u'll have.. Try bring it to her attention where she realises on her own, but talk to a doctor blood
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i pretty much agree with everything them lot have said in this thread, but if ur problems have only arised since your girl has been pregnant, stick it out man it might actually just be the hormones/stress of preparing etc..Like i think paradox said having a child will change your perspective and should i hope strengthen your relationship.

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No.And people that have babies to save their relationships are selfish f*cks.

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How is having a baby going to help a failing relationship...?Bwoy, that is f*ckry thinking, the baby doesn't deserve to be born into a feuding relationship...

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How is having a baby going to help a failing relationship...?Bwoy, that is f*ckry thinking, the baby doesn't deserve to be born into a feuding relationship...
I take offence to your second sentenance so if parents are having troubles it merits a death sentenance onto a new born innocent?
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How is having a baby going to help a failing relationship...?Bwoy, that is f*ckry thinking, the baby doesn't deserve to be born into a feuding relationship...
I take offence to your second sentenance so if parents are having troubles it merits a death sentenance onto a new born innocent?
nope, it means fix up your relationship A.S.A.P!
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If the issues have only arisen over the last 9 months it could just be cos she's pregnant an hormones are raging.. See how it goes enit, having a kid obviously changes ppl's perspective on life, so it may be a change for the betterGood luck fam an i hope it all works out for the best..
get mestick at it, be positive, pregnancy can be a rough time for a lot of couplesdont fall at this hurdlealso, i dnt feel personally that this is the right place to ask for advice on this particular subjectshould ask some older people who have been throught itwhat do must of us know, really an truly? about this?
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women also change after pregnancy geeza. Hormones are still imbalanced and run the risk of postnatal depression. Which again would will expose more cracks in ur relationship...Best of luck anyway.

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i pretty much agree with everything them lot have said in this thread, but if ur problems have only arised since your girl has been pregnant, stick it out man it might actually just be the hormones/stress of preparing etc..
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If it has been happening in the last couple months, it is the womans hormones, this will calm down after pregnancy.

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the answer is yes. yes doesnt mean it must be so in your case but it definitely CAN save a relationship. if your commitments change, your responsibilities change and you spend more intimate time with baby and mother as familyyoull get to do alot more together, and share special moments that obviously have lacked since your problems started.if you do these things and more she too will see you differentlyif however you ignore her and try and pay attn only to the child, or dont get to spend alot more time than you do now then no a baby wont change nothing

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If the issues have only arisen over the last 9 months it could just be cos she's pregnant an hormones are raging.. See how it goes enit, having a kid obviously changes ppl's perspective on life, so it may be a change for the betterGood luck fam an i hope it all works out for the best..
get mestick at it, be positive, pregnancy can be a rough time for a lot of couplesdont fall at this hurdlealso, i dnt feel personally that this is the right place to ask for advice on this particular subjectshould ask some older people who have been throught itwhat do must of us know, really an truly? about this?
i totally agree,nine months of pregnancy was the toughest test of my relationship,ormones made me an actual bitch ,argumentative etc it was so stressful.seriously give it some time and like smaddy says dont fall at this hurdle. pregnancy is a test and even the forst 3 months after the baby is born it will be hard maybe worse at first but it does get better.you will see your partner in a completely different light and you both will appreciate each other more.babies are a blessing but they will test the hell out of a relationship.At least if you give it some time even if you do end up splitting later on at least you can hand on heart in the future lok your child in the eye and say you tried to make it work.
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