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Michel Kane

So, today's judgement day...

64 posts in this topic

Right, where the f*ck do I start? Lol...For those who can't be arsed to read what's going to be an extremely long post, about my already well-documented volatile domestic situation, might aswell click back immediately.In a nutshell, I may be moving out. Reason being, the problems between my Mum & her 'husband' have gotten to the point where the same effect it had on me, SEVERAL years ago, are starting to become apparent on my 15 year old little brother. My Mum & her husband had a fight/disagreement/dispute on Sunday & out of frustration, she took that out on my younger which caused him to leave the house & stay at my cousin's..Now, since the age of 6, I've seen verbal abuse, mental & physical. This guy, has been flagrantly cheating on her & I'm 90% sure, he's fathered another child outside of the house. My Mum is basically shattered. She's lost all self-considence, she's only 42 but I can see visibly that her health is declining. Even mentally, it's sad to see...And part of it is my fault. I'm her ONLY blood relative in the country, even though we've been here since 1992-93. None of her brothers, sisters, cousins, uncles or aunts are here, to give that protection she's needed. I don't know, sometime it seems as if she moved here, for the purpose of not having anyone being able to tell her what to do & coming in between her & 'her man'. I've had to break up fights between & put myself on the line sometimes, and provide that emotional support sometime, I feel I REALLY should've done more to let HIM know what time it REALLY was. It hasn't been easy because you have to bear in mind, he IS the biological father of my 2 brothers & I wouldn't want them to think I'm trying to sabotage their father-son relationship.But today's here. I promised myself, that when the day came, that I saw visibly the same sh*t that happened to me in 1999, was happening to one of my brothers TODAY, I would take action. Basically talked to dude about 30 mins ago, man to man. Told him what it was, told him that he isn't any good for my mother & him being here will be detrimental to my brothers in the long run. Told him that if he wanted to live this rebore bachelor life, do it elsewhere & he should basically get the f*ck out. He understood, and he agreed he would on the condition that my Mother agreed. If she didn't, I'd be the one to move out because with all that was said, there was no way I could stay either. Which I agreed to. By me staying there, feigning happy family, I'd be co-signing this sh*t, so I'd move out for the sake of principles, and to make a point.I'm very pessimistic. Tried to talk to my Mum straight afterwards. She let me have my say (which is rare), but she's stubborn as f*ck. The nature of her response tells me she still wants to fight for a worthless, empty shell of a marriage. And to be perfectly honest, I just think she'd rather see me out the house & continue to have everybody think, that sh*t is all rosy. However, she did say she'd have a talk with him, and see how she felt. My only hope is, he's REAL with the situation & doesn't try to suggest something that has him have his cake & eat it....But this is so f*cked, it's unreal.

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Basically talked to dude about 30 mins ago, man to man. Told him what it was, told him that he isn't any good for my mother & him being here will be detrimental to my brothers in the long run. Told him that if he wanted to live this rebore bachelor life, do it elsewhere & he should basically get the f*ck out. He understood, and he agreed he would on the condition that my Mother agreed.
Personally i wouldnt have accepted that clause, thats you gone and you wouldnt be around as much to monitor whats going onBut good luck and i hope it work out
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mad situation!!nuff respect for dealing wid it like thatit could have gone so many directions.

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It's a bad situation to be in.Well, all I can say is that you can't really do anything but d you. Your mumsie will have to feel if she can't hear. A family member was in pretty much the same situation as your mum and more times than not she will stick with him despite the sh*t. It's her problem.Just look out for your brothers and help your mum in ways that don't benefit him.

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mad situation!!nuff respect for dealing wid it like thatit could have gone so many directions.
defo my dear you couldnt handled this situation so diffrently man, you have defo taken a mature approach
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Very brave and mature of you to handle the situation in the way that you did.I hope it all works out and your mum see's the light.Either way you done the right thing.

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Where are you right now?

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Where are you right now?
At home right now, just figuring what I'm going to do.It's f*ck*ng mind-boggling.Apparently, I'M trying to brain-wash the kids into thinking he's a bad parent, I'M not looking out for my mother & my brothers, I'M TRYING to destroy a family.f*ck that, just got off the phone with my aunt, she's vexed herself. Gonna let my Mum have it.
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I'm sure I posted in this thread. Anyway, i agree with Lenny, I wouldnt have agreed to those terms and its obvious your mother would side with her husband.Right nao you are the only one that seems to be stable for your bro, once you are gone whats left

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sh*t man. Thats a deep situation. I can kinda see where shes coming from that its easier to lose you in the house than him still, if I'm totally honest. Not right but I can understand.I dont even know what to say apart from wish you all the best. I'm sure youre strong enough to battle it out, maybe one day she'll see she did wrong, but always know in your heart that no matter whatever happens from here you tried your best and had your mums + bro interests at heart.

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mad situation!!nuff respect for dealing wid it like thatit could have gone so many directions.
defo my dear you couldnt handled this situation so diffrently man, you have defo taken a mature approach
C/S.Mickey sorry to hear that she chose him. I guess with all being said the only thing for you to do is live up to your word move out, be there in the background for your siblings.(Its hard and sad when people can't see something that you can see, but sometimes people need to see these things in a person for themselves to truely believe it)
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I know it wouldn't have been the best idea, to 'accept that clause', but at the end of the day, if I remained there, sh*t would just get worse. One little thing could make me do something I regret...Plus, me staying just co-signs the situation, which I won't do at all.Now, they're like ''Thanks for letting us know we've been bad parents, I'll make it work for the kids...''f*ck*ng d*ckheads, both of them./Safe for the support. Like I said, I was pessimistic. But I felt, with me being indecisive all these years, I had to be strong & show them how serious I was. I had to be fearless here.

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Have you considered striking this man?+Is it feasble to live with other relatives and take your bro with you?

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Where are you right now?
At home right now, just figuring what I'm going to do.It's f*ck*ng mind-boggling.Apparently, I'M trying to brain-wash the kids into thinking he's a bad parent, I'M not looking out for my mother & my brothers, I'M TRYING to destroy a family.f*ck that, just got off the phone with my aunt, she's vexed herself. Gonna let my Mum have it.
Sorry to hear that. Just try and hold your bro down as best as possible and look out for him in ways that don't benefit your mum's husband.
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Have you considered striking this man?+Is it feasble to live with other relatives and take your bro with you?
Oh, I did, back in 2004, tried putting hands on her, had to step in.Yeah, she kicked me out temporarily to appease him. Says it all really./It isn't feasible, all the relatives that are on MY side, unfortunately live either in Paris or Congo. Again, this guy has been LUCKY, that no relatives live here. Like I said, I feel to an extent, she moved to LDN & stays here, because alot relatives disapprove of what's happening.
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My man handled this situation correctly:michael_wire.jpg

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Have you spoken to your mother and her husband together at the same time?

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Have you spoken to your mother and her husband together at the same time?
Yep.No clue.
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Adults, especially those brought up to respect their elders do not like their youngers to give them advice. It's like saying who is this youth to tell me how to live my life. You done the right thing though, your mum will respect you in the end.

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Adults, especially those brought up to respect their elders do not like their youngers to give them advice. It's like saying who is this youth to tell me how to live my life. You done the right thing though, your mum will respect you in the end.
Agreed.Hopefully she'll respect what you've done before it's too late.. because now you've gone it's giving him more of an oppertunity to f*ck about.
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Tbh as harsh as it sounds his mother is a grown woman, she has made her bed and she will have to lie in it.Its the kids that are the problem...

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