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Match The Viper With There Internet Personality


Avon Barksdale

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CM Punk = BONG Syndrome

Is it just you or does this guy seem to babble on and on without making any sense whatsoever? Does he lurch from one non sequitur to another? Are you baffled by his obscure metaphors? Are there so many typos you think that maybe he was typing while wearing a catcher's mit? Can he really MEAN what he just said? What in the hell is hey talking about, anyway? Is this guy smoking something?
Liverpool Fans In The Sports Room = CYBER SISTER (TTKK 100% CORRECT)
Cyber Sisters are an extremely fierce confederation of fighting females who act something like a shrill Greek chorus, echoing and amplifying one another's voice until their foes retreat in disarray. They are generally leaderless, but anyone who challenges one Cyber Sister can expect to be savagely attacked by the others.
Thun = EAGLE SCOUT Syndrome
Eagle Scout is a positive, constructive Warrior who endeavors to submit original articles which contain useful content and relevant information with supporting citations and links, thus initiating meaningful discussion threads. Eagle Scout regards the internet as an uplifting, egalitarian, worldwide arena for the exchange of ideas among intelligent, thinking individuals.
TF462 AKA TTKK = EGO Syndrome
For Ego, the discussion forum is all about him, and he regards discussions that stray from that topic as trivial dalliances. Although tolerant of an occasional shift in focus, Ego grows increasingly restive when the forum's attention shifts away from his interests, and he will often provoke conflict to reestablish himself as the subject at hand.
Esquillix = ENFANT PROVOCATEUR
Enfant Provocateur likes to stir up trouble because...because, well...just because. This species of Flame Warrior is almost always young and male - it could be just a hormone thing.
Numero = ETHNIZ Syndrome
Ethnix is an extremely powerful Warrior who effectively wields his ethnic origins to undermine his opponents in battle.
XBOX 360 ED GASHDEM = FANBOY Syndrome
Though annoying and often disruptive, Fanboy is a relatively harmless Warrior because his interests and knowledge are strictly limited a single obsession. He's fixated on a particular video game.
DrunkMof*cker = FURIOUS TYPER Syndrome
Furious Typer’s combat strategy is to drown her adversary in a tsunami of angry verbiage. She is absolutely immune to subtlty and ignores all but the barest essentials of any argument. After breifly appraising the gist of her opponent’s counter attack she puts her head down and rapidly fires off long rambling messages replete with grammitical and factual errors. The typical Furious Typer lacks endurance, however, and if the other combatants can weather the initial assault she will quickly exhaust herself and retire from the field.
FACEOFF = ALLCAPS SYNDROME
ALLCAPS attempts to compensate for his limited rhetorical weaponry through the extravagant use of capitalized words - something netizens refer to as SHOUTING. Sure, a sprinkling of capitalized words can add some zip to a thrust, but they should be used sparingly. Even worse from a tactical point of view, too much shouting alerts other Warriors to the opponent's verbal WEAKNESS and emotional
Lucarelli aka White during the day but mixed race when its dark and a lights on aka jewish but now christian and muslim = IMPOSTER
Impostor is a digital Proteus who changes his persona whenever it suits his purposes. That 21 year old co-ed from Arizona State you met in a discussion forum may, in fact, be a retired steel worker from Pittsburgh. Impostor will claim to be black, white, rich, poor, young, old, straight or gay, and if he's good he can pull it off - at least for a while.
JLovely aka Slew me and get Mike Kane and Goli on your black/ I am so pure d*cks go around not inside me = INNOCENCE Syndrome
Innocence Abused guards her purity jealously and cannot countenance crude language and gets the vapors over frank references to intimate bodily functions.
Ryan Aka Hey Im Admin! = Android Syndrome
Android doesn't anger, nor does he engage in actual combat, rather he will merely point out the logical inconsistencies of other Warriors. Irony and sarcasm are completely lost on Android, and being impossible to insult or injure in any way, he is invulnerable to conventional attack. If, for example, someone were to call him a pinhead, he would get out a tape measure and after finding that his cranium falls within normal size specifications
Venow = BLOWHARD Syndrome
Blowhard feels the need to present his credentials before entering the fray - even if they are irrelevant to the discussion. For example, in a movie forum conflict he might attempt to settle the matter by saying, "As a Ph. D. candidate in particle physics I believe I can say with some authority that the 'Beavis and Butthead' movie represents the emergence of a new cultural paradigm." Huh?
Logan Sama = JERK Syndrome
Jerk is sarcastic, mean, unforgiving and never misses an opportunity to make a cutting remark. Jerk's repulsive personality quickly alienates others. Jerk is very happy to participate in electronic forums.
David aka 18k Posts = LONELY Syndrome
Lonely Guy doesn't get out much, and often his social isolation can drive him to do battle just for the human contact. Compassion dictates that we shouldn't get too upset with his antics.
That guy who sent for someone the other with his first post = LURKER Syndrome
Lurker does not participate in normal forum discourse, but he's out there...watching, reading every message. He is usually quite harmless, and more often than not his silence reflects a natural reticence rather than sinister motives. If a fight breaks out he will quietly observe to avoid revealing his position. Occasionally, however, some mysterious impulse drives him to de-lurk and attack.
Lenny aka Lock topic dont post why never been hearda = NANNY Syndrome
Nanny tirelessly monitors forum discussions to make sure that everyone behaves. Though he is quick to admonish for off-topic messages and petty squabbling, he is generally slow to anger. Rather than wading into pitched battles, Nanny simply pulling the plug on combatants and bans repeat offenders.
Flojo = NITPICK Syndrome
Nitpick compensates for his limited fighting ability by pouncing on points that are only marginally relevant to the discussion. For example, if his opponent in a sports forum conflict casually mentioned the Cubs' 4-2 victory in the 1908 World Series, Nitpick would quickly counterattack with something like, "4-2 !? Any moron knows the Cubs won the Series 4-1!
Flat Eric = PALOOKA Syndrome
Palooka will battle anyone, anytime, anywhere - he seems to love it, even though he always takes a beating. After a terrific pounding at the hands of, for example, Kung-Fu Master, he'll just struggle to his feet and wobble back into the ring. His astonishing ability to absorb punishment leads one to suspect that during his long Warrior career Palooka has taken a few too many punches.
VIP2 Regular Posters When Someone Gets Exposed = SWAM Syndrome
A Swarm hive is almost impossible to detect. When a hapless victim stumbles on a forum that houses a Swarm and disturbs it with an offending message, the Swarm will erupt and fly at their victim from all directions. Taken one at a time the irrelevant, often mindless individual attacks can be easily brushed aside, but because of the sheer volume of the assault even the strongest Warriors must eventually yield.
Tulse = TROLLER
Troller is looking for a response...ANY response, and he will chum the waters with complaints, insults, compliments, and inflammatory tidbits hoping that someone...ANYONE, will take the bait. Generally quite harmless - practices a form of catch and release.
ICE aka THAT GUY = GODFATHER
Godfather who is surrounded by a cadre of loyal henchmen. Unlike Rebel Leader, Issues, Furious Typer and other noisy Warriors, Godfather only occasionally deigns to enter into discussions, but when he does everyone listens to him respectfully and his pronouncements have an air of finality. Though Godfather himself never engages in battle, it is commonly understood that his utterances should not be challenged, and when an unsuspecting Newbie or ambitious wannabe mounts a challenge to his authority Godfather’s henchmen viciously silence or drive away the attacker.
DKY aka Never See Me War = Sycophant
Sycophant differs from Me-Too in that he is much more concerned with sucking up than he is with actually doing battle. Of course, he WILL engage in some light combat to impress Big Dog and other stronger Warriors, but he never exposes himself to unnecessary danger.
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many of them are EXTREMELY accuratei wore a wry smile as i read it
:lol: Thun = EAGLE SCOUT SyndromeQUOTEEagle Scout is a positive, constructive Warrior who endeavors to submit original articles which contain useful content and relevant information with supporting citations and links, thus initiating meaningful discussion threads. Eagle Scout regards the internet as an uplifting, egalitarian, worldwide arena for the exchange of ideas among intelligent, thinking individuals. :lolno:
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many of them are EXTREMELY accuratei wore a wry smile as i read it
Thun = EAGLE SCOUT SyndromeQUOTEEagle Scout is a positive, constructive Warrior who endeavors to submit original articles which contain useful content and relevant information with supporting citations and links, thus initiating meaningful discussion threads. Eagle Scout regards the internet as an uplifting, egalitarian, worldwide arena for the exchange of ideas among intelligent, thinking individuals.
I knew a few people would start crying
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