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Bacardi_Up

When you're friends

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I have a really close girl mate and I think I might want us to be more.We have been flirting and dancing around each other for ages.I am pretty sure she feels the same way as me and like me has done for a while. Further signified by the way she danced with me the last time we went out.But I think neither one of us would make our feelings known to the other. My reason for my apprehension is that I think of her as a really good friend and wouldn't want to lose her as friend if I am wrong and my feelings are one sided.I also fear that if we were to go out and things didn't work out then that would also be the end of our friendship.I have loads of close female friends but this is the only girl that has me really bugging out like this. Through uni I have lived the casual lifestyle especially in regard to women because I am very particular as to what the chemistry should be before getting into a relationship.I really don't know what to do.What would you do?

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I won't disagree. This is what chick flicks are made of.But it's still a situation I am in.

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But I think neither one of us would make our feelings known to the other. My reason for my apprehension is that I think of her as a really good friend and wouldn't want to lose her as friend if I am wrong and my feelings are one sided.I also fear that if we were to go out and things didn't work out then that would also be the end of our friendship.
You sound tender. :lol:All jokes aside, better to know the answer is no, than to wonder throughout the friendship.One particular girl I'm friends with, when I FIRST met her we was cool. I liked her but was too shook to say anything. Couple years pass and we're just talking and she randomly drops in how she used to like me back in the day but was too shook to say anything and the feelings just passed. Even tho I wasn't on her I was gutted hearing that. That burning feeling you get in your heart when you feel crushed.Fam, TELL HER.
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Its an all to commom situation. look u f*cked up by not telling her how felt early on, now she gonna be like i see u just as a friend, the question u have to ask ureself is how much do u value her friendship, once u cross the line theirs no coming back. This is why i always lay my intentions on the line so their never suprised. u have nothing to lose by telling her, sure she ure good friends, their plenty other girls who can be ure friend also so go for it

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Dont want to be a c*nt but I think you might be reading the situation wrong, according to how you want it to play out.Unless she's grinding on you grabbing your soldier and whispering in your ear, it's pretty common place for women who feel really comfortable around guys who "are like their brother", to dance with them, and flirt. It's part of what they consider a really close guy friendship.Unfortunately if you're the guy and get caught up, you start to interpret these signals as a green light.What other, if any, signs has she given off?P.S. I'm currently in a similar situation, although she's not really a friend, more an acquaintance, but I'm trying to be realistic and distinguish fact from my fantasy.

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she is probably attracted to you but I'm pretty sure she will drop

My reason for my apprehension is that I think of her as a really good friend and wouldn't want to lose her as friend if I am wrong and my feelings are one sided.I also fear that if we were to go out and things didn't work out then that would also be the end of our friendship.
But if you accept it is just a friendship and keep it moving I expect you'll see signs of jealousy from her. Then you might get that feeling of how did I end up having this conversation? By this conversation I mean the one where you're having the type of long drawn out arguments that are reserved for partners only, yet you're having it with the girl who wanted to just be friends....in fact good luck
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I got the impression she liked me a while ago, like ages ago when we weren't great friends, but I didn't act upon it.The most recent things include over interest in my love life. As in I told friends of ours of my latest conquest while on Holiday and she was almost jealous when asking me about it. I might be reading wrongly into that.Also a bunch of us went out a little while ago. Me and her headed to the dance floor alone together and she can move! She was grinding me kissing my neck and I was doing the same. But we were both drunk.Anyway this girl hasn't been out with a lot of guys and she probably thinks I am a bit whore who is incapable of a serious relationship because I have only ever had one girlfriend and a succession of one night stands and f*ck buddies.But I justified myself (this is honestly how I feel) that I won't get into a relationship unless I feel strongly for that person. Not just looks and body and all that sh*t but the personality has to be something I love. (essentially I am picky).The only thing I know for sure is that I have never thought of a girl as fondly as this and since my ex which was before I went to uni this is the only girl I have thought I might want to be in a relationship with.One thing is that we have a lot of mutual friends so it is going to divide the group to an extent if everything went tits up.I'm confused as f*ck as to what to do.

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TBH, if you feel to make a move, don't do some 'When Harry Met Sally' bullshit, and 'tell her'...First thing you don't wanna do, is make a move & tell her. Assess the situation for what it is. Get another female involved. Tell your 'friend' about her, get her to meet her, etc. Don't make it too bait obviously, but don't make yourself too available. See how your friend reacts.Secondly, if you do think she's genuinely on you, literally just make a move. Don't talk. Just put it on her. Then leave the room, scene, etc. Bear in mind, you must have high levels of confidence & 'swag' to pull this off. But yeah, don't be tender about the situation basically, dictate the tempo.Adieu

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I can't lie, u sound a bit moist, why would everything f*ck up. worst scenairo, u tell her u like, she says i dont feel the same. If you were really friends, then its nothing, u can still be just friends. Me personally if that happened to me, i'd be like cool and not speak to her for a hot while. not even because im mad that she dont like me, cause this way u can move on. Best case scenairo, she likes u too then u can have a good relationship as the foundations as u lot being friends was already their. At the moment u just being this moist guy that cant tell a girl that u like her, becasue of ure procrastination, another guy who isn't shook to say how he feels is probably banging her brains outs, a harsh reality im afraid

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smart thing to do is to tell her straight away if you start having different feelings for her, instead of those feelings growing and you end up pushing her away with your i love you sh*t. at the start you ain't too deep either so if she says you are butters you can move on without having invested too much time/energy.

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tbh you are sounding real moist about the whole thing,I hate using pua terms but you do sound like you have one-itis.you done several things wrong from the start, not making it clear from the beginning being the biggest fail, you've given her more then enough reason to put you in the friend zone now, because feelings she has/had were not acted upon. now if your in the zone your f*cked, espesh if you like her this much because if she does get into a serious relationship.... kanye: "welcome to heartbreak" /kanyesecondly you say you don't want to lose her friendship, fair enough, but take a think about what is so special about her friendship, i'm pretty sure its just your attraction to her and your fear of rejection.thirdly don't over read the situation, you reckon she might be jealous and so on, but here is the thing women crave attention from guys, even if they don't feel that way about sed guy, a women wants to think/know that guys are still after her. she could be thinking he goes on holiday and does so and so but why hasn't he even tried putting it on me yet.anyway you sound like you want her bad so just make your move, next time your dancing with her just take it that next step further and see what happens. don't worry about her friends and your friends, they wil find a way to work it out.

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Friendships with females dont usually work out anyway. Theyre your friend until they get a man then you notice things werent how they were and you'll look back wishing you moved it as the friendship you treasured at the time means nothing.If it fails, it fails, life moves on and you'll find yourself in this situation again.

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Better to tell her and get knocked back than to not tell her and see her with another man in a few months.

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maybe its time for you to stand under her window with a geto blaster and play this song wen it rains and sh*tserious input stills

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Dawson was such a big head neek

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thirdly don't over read the situation, you reckon she might be jealous and so on, but here is the thing women crave attention from guys, even if they don't feel that way about sed guy, a women wants to think/know that guys are still after her. she could be thinking he goes on holiday and does so and so but why hasn't he even tried putting it on me yet.
This, women are selfish The term she don't want you like that , but she doesn't want anyone else to have you eitherBut to cut a long story short take the shot, lifes actually too short
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maybe its time for you to stand under her window with a geto blaster and play this song wen it rains and sh*tserious input stills
:D Song was a banger though, rags.
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you need to make a move a.s.a.ptrust me cos while ur over there feeling tender nervous about ita player like me is gonna come and scoop up ur chick and ur gonna be very saltyseen this happen to alot of cats in the game so boy...

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a girl done this 2 me the other daywas shocked stillone sexy black chick i been kl with for time... parent is a friend of fam.... shes got a man thoughBasically i hadnt seen her ina good 4-5 years then she came round like a month ago and now shes loving me off.

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you need to make a move a.s.a.ptrust me cos while ur over there feeling tender nervous about ita player like me is gonna come and scoop up ur chick and ur gonna be very saltyseen this happen to alot of cats in the game so boy...
haha real talk bro
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I can't lie, u sound a bit moist, why would everything f*ck up. worst scenairo, u tell her u like, she says i dont feel the same. If you were really friends, then its nothing, u can still be just friends. Me personally if that happened to me, i'd be like cool and not speak to her for a hot while. not even because im mad that she dont like me, cause this way u can move on. Best case scenairo, she likes u too then u can have a good relationship as the foundations as u lot being friends was already their. At the moment u just being this moist guy that cant tell a girl that u like her, becasue of ure procrastination, another guy who isn't shook to say how he feels is probably banging her brains outs, a harsh reality im afraid
loool 100% real talk tho
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I was in this situation.I told her about my feelings eventually, turned out she felt the same.Started off good, got very good.In the end it didn't work out and in fact it ended kinda f*cked, nothing to do with the fact we were friends before though. it took a while to fully get past it all but we're just as good friends now as we were before.If you are close it shouldn't get in the way of your friendship in the end really.

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thirdly don't over read the situation, you reckon she might be jealous and so on, but here is the thing women crave attention from guys, even if they don't feel that way about sed guy, a women wants to think/know that guys are still after her. she could be thinking he goes on holiday and does so and so but why hasn't he even tried putting it on me yet.
This, women are selfish
c/s some women are next level
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U need to take this I have had someone say to my recently she liked mewas heart wrentchingcos I liked her alot also but situation is complex at the moment

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