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shitmydadsays

27 posts in this topic

http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays

Universe is 14 billion years old. Seems silly to celebrate one year. Be like having a f*ck*ng parade every time i take a piss.

lul

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On top of being a top joker, this guy's dad is a true font of wisdom. Aged enlightenment >>>

"That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won't screw you, don't do it for them."

"Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you don't realize until later that it's because it f*cked you."

"The dog don't like you planting stuff there. It's his backyard. If you're the only one who shits in something, you own it. Remember that."

Whoa.

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he's a legend, apparently he now has a book deal.

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yeh soz mate, it's a twitter topic that doesn't involve beefing grime mcs.

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Good, not as good as Fireland though.

'Whenever I watch porn, I can't help but think how that hamster is somebody's daughter. Or son. It's hard to tell. OMG am I a gay??'

'I should probably be embarrassed that a paraplegic girl beat me up so bad but it was actually kind of hot.'

'Your wife LITERALLY exploded with rage? Um yeah did you know that "literally" means—oh god, oh my god what happened in here'

'Superman wears a cape and underwear and everyone's all "yay" but I do it and you're like "don't ever touch my son again"?'

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Good, not as good as Fireland though.

'Whenever I watch porn, I can't help but think how that hamster is somebody's daughter. Or son. It's hard to tell. OMG am I a gay??'

'I should probably be embarrassed that a paraplegic girl beat me up so bad but it was actually kind of hot.'

'Your wife LITERALLY exploded with rage? Um yeah did you know that "literally" means—oh god, oh my god what happened in here'

'Superman wears a cape and underwear and everyone's all "yay" but I do it and you're like "don't ever touch my son again"?'

All of them were totally sh*t. Except the last one.

Back to shitmydadsays...

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Good, not as good as Fireland though.

'Whenever I watch porn, I can't help but think how that hamster is somebody's daughter. Or son. It's hard to tell. OMG am I a gay??'

'I should probably be embarrassed that a paraplegic girl beat me up so bad but it was actually kind of hot.'

'Your wife LITERALLY exploded with rage? Um yeah did you know that "literally" means—oh god, oh my god what happened in here'

'Superman wears a cape and underwear and everyone's all "yay" but I do it and you're like "don't ever touch my son again"?'

All of them were totally sh*t. Except the last one.

Back to shitmydadsays...

co sign

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"Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you don't realize until later that it's because it f*cked you."

*pauses*

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i need to find my twitter password and follow this guy...

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On top of being a top joker, this guy's dad is a true font of wisdom. Aged enlightenment >>>

"That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won't screw you, don't do it for them."

"Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you don't realize until later that it's because it f*cked you."

"The dog don't like you planting stuff there. It's his backyard. If you're the only one who shits in something, you own it. Remember that."

Whoa.

snm

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such wise words.

My dad typed lol in a text today

I was deeply disturbed

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such wise words.

My dad typed lol in a text today

I was deeply disturbed

:lol:

my mum did this once, not gunna lie i was shocked

standardly told her, "NEVER DO THAT AGAIN"

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i dont get it, whats wrong with parents saying lol in txts?

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they are from an older generation, thus they should not try and merge with the newer generation.

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i dont get it, whats wrong with parents saying lol in txts?

Not on.

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im sorry, who? Big 44 year old father of ? X *

Who are you lolling with, were pc's even invented when you were my age, no plz ttyl dad go sleep now kk thnx bai ttkk smh ftw

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remembered when my dad asked me what 'lol' meant :lol:

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they are from an older generation, thus they should not try and merge with the newer generation.

reminds me of when my mum said ''there were 'bare heads' ''

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they are from an older generation, thus they should not try and merge with the newer generation.

reminds me of when my mum said ''there were 'bare heads' ''

RAGE.

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an every so often my mum goes 'and it was PANTS, ahahaha, as you would say'

havnt said that since like yr 7 or suttin

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"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

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Once my Mum said "blah blah blah l o l "

I was like yey because I'm happy she doesn't know she's doing it wrong and also I'm sad cos we were in Tesco.

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