Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
prdx

feeling completely lost

39 posts in this topic

ok, long story short.the girl im seeing, i caught her out trying to catch me out recently. i wont bore u with the details. but the act itself of her trying to catch me out occurred towards the beginning of this erm..... "courtship" but i only clocked on recently.wont lie vip has corrupted my system, the first sign of anything suspicious i over analyse things and i lock it so i cant be hurt again. i blew this ting out of proportion cos the way i seen it was, she was trying to set me up to catch me out which is a violation of the "trust" that our ting is based on. so i started actin dodgy basically started treating her like any link, not answering calls or texts and all that sort of thing basically shut her out. last night i sat down and said to myself "self did i overreact?". and when thinking about the bigger picture i'd have to say yes i did, what she done was a minor. i think im onto a decent thing here and dont especially want to throw it away at this point. i feel like im in a lose-lose situation right now, i dont feel i should apologise because my actions were a reaction to something shes done. but i also feel that even if i did this relationship is doomed because i dont know what shes been gettin up to this last (almost a) week since we aint been talking, and i know shes the suspicious type too so she'll probably think ive been playing away (though i know she'd never say).im feeling kinda f*cked because now the next time something occurs (not even in this relationship, but for any future ones) i may ignore my first reaction and think im overeating, while important things may slip through the net. but at the same time i dont want to be completely indifferent my whole life either. i used to be a complete mook and take most things at face value and now i feel i know too much and have seen enough f*ckery that i find it hard to believe anything. i cannot switch my mind off. im narcissistic, pessimistic and i feel completely f*cked tbh like im hating the way i am now and wishing i was more how i used to be, full of hope.maybe its just part of growing up, or maybe ive gone into overkill. anyone ever feel like this? like u dont know if u can be happy in life? all i know is i need a spliff right now but aint got no weed FML right about now

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

over analyzing is a bitch tbhif i was you id try and get in touch with this girl and see whats what and just be honestonly you will get yourself outta this mindstate also, nobody else

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

TBH WHEN I READ THE TITLE, I SAID THIS IS A SPLIFF TOPICi dno what to say about this, but don't stand for games, and i think u were right to react the way u dideither be up front or say none, those sly behaviours imo are indication of the type of person she is, indication of the way she handles situationsalways listen to your first instinct, gut feelingif immediately u say nah, nah, thats not right, its not right (but not if its cos of what u think other people would think or do)every single time ive dismissed my first instinct it has been to my detrimentobv u havnt given details, but are u overreacting cos apart from that shes a good girl?some people say that lovin someone is acceptin that persons faults, what you always have to determine is can i deal with them faultswhen u say yes, u take responsibility for what may or may not happen in the futureall the bestsmaddy

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have the same kind of pessimistic attitude towards relationships these days aswell, just feel like there really arent any genuine men out there anymore.I'm seeing a guy at the moment and over the last 2 weeks ive just over analysed every small thing to the point where ill get pissed off with him for something that isnt even an issue, ill just take something he said or a certain action a wrong way then tell myself im going to end it, but then when he calls me i change my mind when i realise im just being paranoid. For that reason i really dont think it will go anywhere, i just think im not ready for all of this yet, i think he has sensed this aswell coz he says the way i am towards him sometimes is almost like im not willing to let myself go and im trying to be hardfaced and he wants to see the other side of me bla bla bla...but when hes saying this im thinking 'whats the point?'It does make me wonder if ill ever find someone i can settle down with happily, unless i change my attitude towards things im not going to let anyone get close enough to me for this to happen.I see what you mean about not taking things at face value, i used to be to trusting and ive seen and heard and experienced so much f*cked up sh*t over the last few years that i have gone the complete other way to the point of being hostile sometimes.Meh, life is depressing when you grow up.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I dont understand, what was the reason you started blanking her off? What did she do

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
every single time ive dismissed my first instinct it has been to my detriment
Same with me, ive learnt now if something doesnt feel right it probably isnt.
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

u stated u problem and solution to it, always look at the bigger picture close thread

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i want to be bored with the details of what happened

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Paradox, same boat.It's f*cked, but I miss my naivety to an extent. Girls stood a chance back then.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Vip2 doesn't help at all to be honest. At all.Let your guard down within reason.The last 18 months have seen a drastic change in my black and white thinking to cover the multitude of grey areas in between.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i over analyse everything tbh, but i'm self-concious about it so I then make a conclusion based somewhere between what would be got from over-analysing and under-analysingif you explain the attempt of "catching out" then we can tell you whether you overreacted

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
every single time ive dismissed my first instinct it has been to my detriment
Same with me, ive learnt now if something doesnt feel right it probably isnt.
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

sound post smadds

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Trust your instincts.Humans have some powerful sixth sense.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
obv u havnt given details, but are u overreacting cos apart from that shes a good girl?
to a degree this is true. otherwise good post bGG, Gemma and Dubby. while i was with her she must of had one of her girl friends text me some garbage about "hi, do u remember me we met at [place i was] over the weekend and u gave me ur numba. been thinkin about u ever since and cant remember if you have my number or not so i thought i'd text u. how u doing yadda yadda yadda we should meet up soon". now, my girl is obviously right infront of me when this text came through and she was testing to see my reaction and obviously a guilty man would have something to hide and probably go on all shifty. at the time i thought who the f*ck is this textin me and i showed her the message and said thats really wierd because i never gave my number to anyone and i showed her the text. that would indicate to her that i have nothing to hide as i showed her the text at the same time i had it and was completely honest. fast forward a few months, last saturday the same girlfriend text me off the same number askin if i was coming out that night for her birthday and i recognised the last 3 digits of the number. at the time i shrugged it off. few days later it really started bothering me so i went through my texts and recognised it was the same number. so it was obviously a set up to catch me out thats why i started blanking her because i was thinking how can she violate the trust and not take my word. but when i thought about it its not that big of a deal, if anything it just shows that she is/was insecure and without even knowing it i would have put her mind at ease and strengthened what we have. plus it was months ago.TBH thats not really what was bothering me, just the slyness of it had me thinking should i trust this girl, can i trust this girl, how do i feel, can i really trust anyone etc. i let my guard down and she had the potential to hurt me if she had a mind to and i made up my mind i would never be that guy again so i put my guard straight back up and shut her out.my advice to someone else in my situation would be to trust ur heart, but i kno my heart isnt in the right place atm. i feel like i need to level out because how i am now to how i was is from one extreme to the next. MK thats exactly what it is. back then girls stood a chance but now i dont feel they do. deep down i want to be able to trust them on some level because i dont want to end up some lonely bloated old man with kids all over the place fully equipped with receding hairline and beer belly insisting everyone calls me "silk" cos my moves r so smooth. NOBODY likes that guy :lol:meeting her later on today after work to talk. play it by ear i suppose
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You need to have some harsh words with her tbhThem sly activities cant run

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Tbh i don't think she wud have put in the effort to set u up if she thought you where any guy dox, you already know thatShe took a risk in what she did, she executed a plan where the results can backfire. Each outcome is justified in its own way. If you would have blyed her then thats that and if you would have tossed her to the way side, then thats cool too.no one is perfect and in the grand scheme of things its a minor, i have the same sort of mindset as you though. The moment i see a bad move, a slip im thinking im being mugged off to the highest degree, f*ck her, die slow bitch etc. I give females too much credit i see their every litte act as a strategic chess move in their schofield design plan. Someimtes i just to need look and see a stupid move as nothing more as a stupid innocent move. Its hard to find a balance between nieviety and cynicism f*ck*ng C/S about VIP corrupting

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
You need to have some harsh words with her tbhThem sly activities cant run
THIS.BUTA sly girl will forever be a sly girlHer doing that is her trying to manipulate the situation, you cant let this happen tbhDestroy her emotionallyslashactuallly move to and f*ck the friend that is in on the set up for ULTIMATE poetic justice
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

prdxok, she tested you. its a bit calculated and a tad deceiptful, which i guess is whats putting you off.it may well be, that shes been hurt in the past, and is now more cautiouswhat i would say it definately shows is: she likes youi recon she is developing feelings for you and wants to be sure she can trust you before letting get too closebutbear in mind that it may well have been nothing to do with her - what are the grounds for your suspicion? paranoia perhaps....

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

you should just be upfront with her about her actions....get a guilt trip going in your favor.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
prdxok, she tested you. its a bit calculated and a tad deceiptful, which i guess is whats putting you off.it may well be, that shes been hurt in the past, and is now more cautiouswhat i would say it definately shows is: she likes youi recon she is developing feelings for you and wants to be sure she can trust you before letting get too closebutbear in mind that it may well have been nothing to do with her - what are the grounds for your suspicion? paranoia perhaps....
of course it had something to do with her, how else would her friend get my number? not to mention she'd probaby have recognised the number on the screen.i kinda cs the ppl saying hard words are needed but what would be the point? it wont change the way shes behaved or will potentially behave. besides its probably in my best interest to not say anythin "a good detective will never let the suspect know that he knows hes full of sh*t" and all thatedit: i could guilt trip her but its all games aint it and im tired of games. although i am aware the game is there whether i play it or get played by it. maybe we need a break but i know if we do that i may aswel break up because all the trust will be gone, at least on my part
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yea I was gonna give you skolas POV as inshe went through all this, it means she likes youbut, you have to discourage inappropriate behavior whether it comes from liking you or being pissed with you tbh

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

you didn't overreact if it was her friends testing you that would be one thing, but her doing it directly is a par

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

this relationship doesn't sound healthyi would just call it a day tbhit's really immature what she did, and she did it TWICE.if she has reason to suspect you're cheating on her, then she needs to just tell you, or stop f*ck*ng aboutbecause it'll start with a text, then she'll start checking your facebook, emails, texting YOUR friends etcand it doesn't matter if she 'likes' you. she obviously doesn't trust you

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0