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Woodpecker

CharlieChalk THIS is your life!

66 posts in this topic

I have noticed some people thinking that I actually had charlie on a so called 'hit-list' of people whose character I was going to attempt to assassinate in a quasi-blind-date-game-show-style-spoof-thread, however the reality of the situation is that after watching Beowulf last night and spotting Samiad looking lonely as ever I decided to do something against it.

Charlie seems to have taken this somewhat to heart and also wants to appear on the show, however Cilla has not agreed to take such a foul harlot onto national television and so we have had to arrange her to be part of another american show.

Enjoy

It all started out for Charles Emma Chalk at the Liverpool Docks where she was born

docks.jpg

Life was very rough there but Charles grew a thick skin very quickly, her father, James Michael Chalk of Irish decent, was a Merchant Navyman and did not spend a lot of time with her and her younger sister at their home.

43a4cae566edb2d03952b65b6611d7cf.large.jpg

He was a heavy drinker and when not at sea he spent most of his time in the pub, however on the rare occasions he did return home he always made sure they had plenty of food on the table and the latest toys

945240637_53307c32b7.jpg?v=0

After a long abusive childhood Charles was kicked out of her home by her mother for refusing to leave school, the young girl had watched closely at the goings on in the area and learnt a lot from the crime and punishment and she had a fiery temperament to match her hair. Her family where sad to tell her to go but such an ambituous lady had no place among these people her mother told her.

EastendersBBC_468x316.jpg

So off she set on a trip of wonder and amazement, studying not only GCSE's and A levels but even managing to do a Uni course!

books.jpg

Such achievement could not be measured in Liverpool, so it was then that Charles realised her dream, to fight crime and evil in the not so distant city of Nottingham!

nottmskyline.jpg

She moved there into a palace of a home on the St.Annes estate, and quickly became very friendly with the indigenous population

81833680.jpg

Charles found that her name was not actually a female one and had just been a mistake her father had made in a drunken stupor, so she changed it by deed poll to her middle name, Emma.

Although Emma had had plenty of experiencec having multiple interacial partners during intercourse, she had never actually had any expereince working with children or dealin with offending behaviour, this was a worry at the front of her mind the whole time until she received an interview from Nottingham YOT

black_businessman%5B2%5D.jpg

Unsurprisingly she was promptly hired

She has now died her hair and is a High-flying Business Woman

Business-Woman-with-folder.jpg

Racing between prisons in her 1.6 litre corsa , making sure that justice has been carried out in the full and propper correct way

opel_corsa-opc_133_1920x1200-copy.jpg

She has little time for such matters as filling her fridge

empty-fridge.jpg

Charles Emma Chalk...............this is your life!

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Somebody summarise please.

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Somebody summarise please.

There's a market for fetish salt shakers.

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I'm gonna read but let me say this... This better be funny or you're a f*ck*ng wasteman.

Edit: One picture made me laugh. The rest was literally a massive waste of time. Should've just put her in the blind date thread. Think you got gassed by the lols you got from that thread.

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Somebody summarise please.

lool same thing i thought

scrolled down at the post kept on going - long for readin all of that

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summary:

1 nsfw picture

some jokes

lots of blank space to aid delivery, doesnt take long to read

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15x1wu0.gif

cheese

style upon style for dem

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f*ck*ng sh*t MATE.

YOU AIN'T FUNNY GET OVER IT.

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15x1wu0.gif

cheese

style upon style for dem

Suave !

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15x1wu0.gif

cheese

style upon style for dem

Suave !

best thing in this topic.

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i lold at the porn even tho it was bait

rest was sh*t eks is right, you got gassed by a few lols and thought you were funny...

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YouTube video of that GIF. please.

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i'm genuinely baffled as to wot u were doing here g

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8/10 for effort.

Execution however leaves a lot to be desired.

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Scrolled down without really taking anything in and came to the conclusion that man made way too much of an effort with this

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"She has little time for such matters as filling her fridge" lol

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I have noticed some people thinking that I actually had charlie on a so called 'hit-list' of people whose character I was going to attempt to assassinate in a quasi-blind-date-game-show-style-spoof-thread, however the reality of the situation is that after watching Beowulf last night and spotting Samiad looking lonely as ever I decided to do something against it.

Charlie seems to have taken this somewhat to heart and also wants to appear on the show, however Cilla has not agreed to take such a foul harlot onto national television and so we have had to arrange her to be part of another american show.

Enjoy

It all started out for Charles Emma Chalk at the Liverpool Docks where she was born

docks.jpg

Life was very rough there but Charles grew a thick skin very quickly, her father, James Michael Chalk of Irish decent, was a Merchant Navyman and did not spend a lot of time with her and her younger sister at their home.

43a4cae566edb2d03952b65b6611d7cf.large.jpg

He was a heavy drinker and when not at sea he spent most of his time in the pub, however on the rare occasions he did return home he always made sure they had plenty of food on the table and the latest toys

945240637_53307c32b7.jpg?v=0

After a long abusive childhood Charles was kicked out of her home by her mother for refusing to leave school, the young girl had watched closely at the goings on in the area and learnt a lot from the crime and punishment and she had a fiery temperament to match her hair. Her family where sad to tell her to go but such an ambituous lady had no place among these people her mother told her.

EastendersBBC_468x316.jpg

So off she set on a trip of wonder and amazement, studying not only GCSE's and A levels but even managing to do a Uni course!

books.jpg

Such achievement could not be measured in Liverpool, so it was then that Charles realised her dream, to fight crime and evil in the not so distant city of Nottingham!

nottmskyline.jpg

She moved there into a palace of a home on the St.Annes estate, and quickly became very friendly with the indigenous population

81833680.jpg

Charles found that her name was not actually a female one and had just been a mistake her father had made in a drunken stupor, so she changed it by deed poll to her middle name, Emma.

Although Emma had had plenty of experiencec having multiple interacial partners during intercourse, she had never actually had any expereince working with children or dealin with offending behaviour, this was a worry at the front of her mind the whole time until she received an interview from Nottingham YOT

black_businessman%5B2%5D.jpg

Unsurprisingly she was promptly hired

She has now died her hair and is a High-flying Business Woman

Business-Woman-with-folder.jpg

Racing between prisons in her 1.6 litre corsa , making sure that justice has been carried out in the full and propper correct way

opel_corsa-opc_133_1920x1200-copy.jpg

She has little time for such matters as filling her fridge

empty-fridge.jpg

Charles Emma Chalk...............this is your life!

f*ckIN NEEK, HOW U GONA TRY GO ON LIKE UR ROAD WEN U TYPE ALL THAT BOLLOCKS

BET U WOZ 1 OF DEM KIDS THT WOZ ALWAYS KISSIN TEACHERS ARSE IN SCHOOL N ALL

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what is the blind date thread, dnt remember that

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