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Dat Boy B

Kim Yong-il >>>> Your favorite striker.

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NORTH KOREA dictator Kim Jong-il has dropped a football bombshell - by picking HIMSELF in his nation's World Cup squad.

The Communist despot has frequently had a hand in picking the team but this bizarre new development will shock world football.

For a start, the self-styled Dear Leader is 5ft 3in, 69, very short-sighted, and in poor health.

No one believes Kim will actually play against Brazil, Portugal and Ivory Coast.

He will see himself as a galvanising influence in the dressing room and might even insist on being on the bench.

Reports escaping the hermit state credit Kim with routinely scoring three or four holes-in-one in every round of golf he plays, even though the odds of ONE are about 5,000-1.

He is also said to be mad on basketball and a keen participant in games behind closed doors.

Schoolchildren are taught that the Dear Leader can change the weather by willpower alone.

Nor is there any chance of embarrassment back home if he does creak into action against Kaka and Co - he has decreed that NO World Cup ties will be screened live in North Korea.

There will be no highlights of any defeat and any draw or victory will be heavily edited to portray the national team in its best light.

Coach and near-namesake Kim Song-Hun will appear a puppet to the rest of the world but such is his leader's cult of personality the manager will be expected to welcome this rare honour.

One complication is that Kim has a terror of flying and goes everywhere by armoured train.

His elite bodyguards from the world's fourth largest army have a tortuous route to South Africa, starting on the Trans-Siberian line.

The lure of his nation being on the world stage for the first time since 1966 in England has clearly turned Kim's head.

He's not shy of the grand gesture - the biggest stadium in the world seats 150,000 in the capital Pyongyang and bears his name.

On the odd occasion the secret state host a game - they can't avoid World Cup qualifiers - Kim is there to take the crowd's adulation.

A noted Pyongyang-watcher at the University of Seoul, Professor Loo Farp-il, said: "The old monster is so vain he really could pick himself to mark Drogba, Ronaldo or Robinho."

http://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/scotsol/homepage/sport/2915894/Kim-and-have-a-go.html

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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