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Angelo

Delicate Situation

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Ok, this is going to be a long read so be warned in advance.I've been seeing this girl for about 3 months now. We've been friends for almost 5 years before this so go back. A guy she saw briefly for a few weeks in December goes to her Uni and so they obviously share a lot of acquaintances/frequent similar places.Her and her closest friends despise him. The rest are acquaintances and so people will be civil with each other, but that's just how it is.From what I hear from good friends of mine at the Uni, her mates, and her, he's a bit of a prick. Likes to stir drama up, acts like a 15 year old, and is generally pretty immature. Because they share acquaintances and obviously social circles at Uni mix quite a bit, they'll sometimes end up at the same club, or student night etc. She's been avoiding him since December, because he's just a nuisance and annoys her and her friends when he does see them on nights out.3 weeks ago she told me that when a big group of her, her friends, and friends of mine went to a club, him and a few of his mates were there, and were acting like children all evening. But the one thing which made me take notice was being told that this guy would push his friends into her and her friends, and then run off.Fast forward a week. He tries to call her pretty much consistently and she ignores his calls. Another night we went out, and waking up she checks her phone and has 7 missed calls from him. All between the hours of midnight and 7am.At this point I'm getting a little bit pissed. I'm not about to go and bang someone like a child because they're causing my gf a bit of trouble. She's a big girl, an adult, and can deal with issues in her life herself.Fast forward to yesterday. I find out that when she went out (again with her friends & good friends of mine), he was there with a few of his mates. Now I find out that when she was talking with her girls, he walks up next to her and puts his arm around her (this was told to me by my boy before she even said anything so it's verified). Her reaction was to take his arm and throw it back at him and walk off from the group. Her friend was then approached by a couple of this guys mates who said to her "(his name) really likes (her name), he's really in love with her can you try and get them back together". Followed by her friend saying "A, she has a boyfriend. B, (his name) is a prick and so are all of you. f*ck off."Now at this point being mature about the situation has run out. I've tried to remain in the background and not get involved, but breaking the contact barrier, and harassing her just can't carry on. Yesterday I was in the car with her and her phone starts ringing - it was him, and it was 1am.Now normally the situation would be fairly easy to resolve, but it gets a little bit deeper. Her younger cousin is on the football team which this guy is captain of. He said to her when they stopped talking in December, in no uncertain terms, that if she wasn't cool with him, or said a bad word about him, he would make her cousins life difficult. They also share acquaintances etc. and the whole thing could get a bit messy if I resolve this.My feeling at the moment is that I've stayed on the sideline long enough. He knows I'm about, he knows that I'm with her, and he's pushing his luck. I'm too busy to get involved with stupid Uni kids drama, but at the same time, if he's touching her and it's unwelcome, and if he's even remotely putting her in any situation by intimidation, I'm going to flatten him. I've casually mentioned I want to meet him, and it's possible that I'll end up doing that tomorrow. The idea is to make it clear when she's in my presence that I won't tolerate what he's doing.She's ignoring him, she's avoiding him whenever she can, and just trying to let it phase out and hoping he gets bored. I don't think it's working.Advice/Opinions/Similar situations please.

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'back together'i knew they had a deeper history just my opinion here, i realise he is an arse, but there was a life that she had before you two became as close as you are now, its understandable if you feel you need to come through like her knight in shining armour for whatever reasons, but let her represent your relationship in this particular situation.she needs to be the 1 to break it down to him and his freinds that she has moved on and surpassed him in terms of maturityeff all the other stuff thats just what it is, and you may want to try and avoid getting directly involved unless A) she asks you to, or :D he specifically chats sh*t to you or her in your actual presence, not any he say she saydont go out searching for this brer eitherotherwise you could just come across as over bearing, and it because then it seems more like you are trying to salvage your own ego instead of maintain a decent relationship

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'back together'i knew they had a deeper history just my opinion here, i realise he is an arse, but there was a life that she had before you two became as close as you are now, its understandable if you feel you need to come through like her knight in shining armour for whatever reasons, but let her represent your relationship in this particular situation.she needs to be the 1 to break it down to him and his freinds that she has moved on and surpassed him in terms of maturityeff all the other stuff thats just what it is, and you may want to try and avoid getting directly involved unless A) she asks you to, or :D he specifically chats sh*t to you or her in your actual presence, not any he say she saydont go out searching for this brer eitherotherwise you could just come across as over bearing, and it because then it seems more like you are trying to salvage your own ego instead of maintain a decent relationship
Back together as in - back talking. They went on 3 dates. Wasn't deep./You're right about her having to deal with it. That's why I've just ignored it.@ The Ego thing - Maybe, but when she's told him where to go and he still crosses the line, I can't help but feel a way.
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'back together'i knew they had a deeper history just my opinion here, i realise he is an arse, but there was a life that she had before you two became as close as you are now, its understandable if you feel you need to come through like her knight in shining armour for whatever reasons, but let her represent your relationship in this particular situation.she needs to be the 1 to break it down to him and his freinds that she has moved on and surpassed him in terms of maturityeff all the other stuff thats just what it is, and you may want to try and avoid getting directly involved unless A) she asks you to, or :D he specifically chats sh*t to you or her in your actual presence, not any he say she saydont go out searching for this brer eitherotherwise you could just come across as over bearing, and it because then it seems more like you are trying to salvage your own ego instead of maintain a decent relationship
C/S
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ain't experienced nuttin like this but all i can say is that i rate you for not spudding his face

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Is this in England yea?Gimme his name and location I got somethin' that'll get him real hot under the collar.

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an aggressive solution to this problem is inevitable imo. he sounds like a bitch, espesh for coming at her sideways thru her cousin. there are various aggressive solutions at ur disposal u dont necessarily have to stamp him out. u cud try straighten him out over the phone, just so he knows hes pushing the limit. If i were u i wud continue as u are acting with decorum and dignity but realize that at sum point if this man refuses to hear he must feel. i wud also say that in my personal life there have been a few situations when ive given certain characters chances and ended up stamping them out anyway, then realized i wud of saved everyone sum grief if i had acted decisively earlier. however i will add that my protectiveness and aggression have destroyed a few relationships, its worth bearing this in mind and trying a diplomatic but assertive approach espesh if she despises any form of violence.

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Me personally I would of answered that 1am phone call yesterday and seen what he would of had to say for himself.Can't be phoning my girl at them pillow talk/booty call hours.Me personally I don't like getting involved with girls who have this sort of history and 'Ex's' pursuing them like this because situation's like this arise and I can't be arsed to get involved. So I don't really have an experience of these sort of things.I would say though try to avoid any physical confrontations. The phrase 'shitting on your own doorstep springs to mind'All the best pal

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theres something shes not telling you.

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Me personally I would of answered that 1am phone call yesterday and seen what he would of had to say for himself.
C/S,me personally, I would talk to this guy, doesn't have to be a war ting, but if he's going on like that and he know's i'm in the picture, then yeah he needs to hear from me that sh*t can't run, espesh if she's getting annoyed by it.it's not even about being overprotective, but you're in a relationship, and sh*t like that ain't really cool on either of you.
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Me personally I would of answered that 1am phone call yesterday and seen what he would of had to say for himself.
C/S,it's not even about being overprotective, but you're in a relationship, and sh*t like that ain't really cool on either of you.
the guy is only harrassing your chick because he thinks he can get away with it, also why are your boys not steppin and telling him to back off?
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Nothing pisses me off more than ex's who try to sniff around, it's up to your girl to make her stance clear tbh, if she's blurring the lines, he'll take anything as a green light.

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c/s every post above

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Is this in England yea?Gimme his name and location I got somethin' that'll get him real hot under the collar.
LUL'd
Me personally I would of answered that 1am phone call yesterday and seen what he would of had to say for himself.
What he said.
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Yesterday I was in the car with her and her phone starts ringing - it was him, and it was 1am.
WAR DONE if you answered that phonecall.. Its a Monday so there will be no thought of him thinking your giving her a lift home after a rave or something.. That would throw him off quite a bit if you think about it. But that is just a shoulda woulda coulda scenarioNext time he rings and your with her, you pick up the phone and speak to him.He definitely needs confrontation about it imo, seeing as he wants to get back with the girl your seeing.
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something similar i have experienced:my ex, had a stalker. well, sort of.basically sum ghanaiain guy she met at a ghana party, i think i met him too. he was married, not sure about kids.messaged her on myspace saying i want to be with you i dream about you, she said im not interested, he replies a couple of times, she says leave me alone or i will report you, end of that. then her cousin txts saying this guy is asking for your number but i didnt give it to him - same guy. then....she gets a call at work from him - she was a recruitment advisor so her name came up under the agency's website (if you googled her name) with her office number. leave me alone etc same stuff said again.so..next she bumps into him at a club night. im not there. he tries to talk to her she tells him to f*ck off, he does, but then outside, shes a bit wrecked, and he tries to take her BY THE ARM. her and her friends switch, start shouting make a big scene, which seems to scare him off.part of me wishes id been there to f*ck him up, but then theres a chance the police arrive and it all goes in that direction.a year on, she hadnt heard from or seen that guy, so i guess he got the message in the end.

it's up to your girl to make her stance clear tbh
if she cant, thats a seperate issue.
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b6224fd1b81875aa66d483c8b1211756.gifLet me see if I've got this right.He knows your girl isn't interested but is constantly trying it?He knows she's with someone but yet his still trying it?He calls your girl all the time? Mainly at those times NO male unless their your girls kin should be calling?He knows about you yet still is trying it?His the ex and therefore had history with her which I'll assume probably was deeper than you may think?He keeps violating your mrs on nights out with so called associates being there too?ETCETCETCWhat? Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah blood, either your chick is blurring the lines and she hasn't made it CLEAR its not that season with him or you haven't set the levels of the relationship to all parties concerned./Safe for replying to my pm by the way.
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agree with general consensus in the topic. you've played it well so far.I dunno though. the story doesnt add up too much on the guys side. he cant be that mentally unstable. shes either kissed him, slept with him or done something recently to make him believe he has a chance of taking her back

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f*ck off with your long winded neeky dear deidre stories.log off and ask your real life friends

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Me personally I would of answered that 1am phone call yesterday and seen what he would of had to say for himself.Can't be phoning my girl at them pillow talk/booty call hours.Me personally I don't like getting involved with girls who have this sort of history and 'Ex's' pursuing them like this because situation's like this arise and I can't be arsed to get involved. So I don't really have an experience of these sort of things.I would say though try to avoid any physical confrontations. The phrase 'shitting on your own doorstep springs to mind'All the best pal
tbh
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its all peak reallyu shoulda answered da fone yesterdayif he rings again wen ur wit her definitely answer he needs a hottingafter that take it from there, either smoodge him or not...

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its all peak reallyu shoulda answered da fone yesterdayif he rings again wen ur wit her definitely answer he needs a hottingafter that take it from there, either smoodge him or not...
this
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agree with general consensus in the topic. you've played it well so far.I dunno though. the story doesnt add up too much on the guys side. he cant be that mentally unstable. shes either kissed him, slept with him or done something recently to make him believe he has a chance of taking her back
Agreed.
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Why didn't you answer the phone? Rather silly not to really. TBH, her p*ssy must be that good tbh./Allow letting the mrs go raving all the time, once every 3 months is maximum if I'm not there, otherwise it's a pisstake.

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What? Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah blood, either your chick is blurring the lines and she hasn't made it CLEAR its not that season with him.
What im saying mateif you havent actually seen/heard how they interactand all this you know is from her mouth then next time you need to let her answer the phonehe probably isnt a maniac like she makes out...MAYBE shes stringing him alonggirls love attention.
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