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Captain Planet

The self retardation thread

103 posts in this topic

Yes especially you goddaz

I just spent a good 10 minutes looking at a ban statement wondering where some money has gone.

Did the additions over and over again.

Turns out 9-6 is actually 3 AND NOT 4

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:/

What?

/

I noticed you keep sending for me, what's your previous names before changing it?

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:rofl:

yesterday my sister asked me if she could borrow a pound, so i said only if u go out to the shop an get me this drink which costs 2 pounds, in my mind i was convinced it cost 3 pounds

i had 2 2 pound coins and a pound coin, i was like yh i expect a pound change

she went to the shop, an basically took 2 pound off me, instead of being honest

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Literally though it was friday yesterday and came to work casual clothed (coz we allowed to wear casuals on a friday)

I just dont understand my thought process that day of why I believed it was a friday

plain faces all round though at work

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Accidentally put bbq sauce on Vanilla Ice Cream.

I didn't eat it - could've been godly though

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Literally though it was friday yesterday and came to work casual clothed (coz we allowed to wear casuals on a friday)

I just dont understand my thought process that day of why I believed it was a friday

plain faces all round though at work

lol

did you have to go back and change or they let you off

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waking up early and putting the milk in the bowl then the cereal str8 away without warming the milk up first <<<<<<<<<<<<<

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Literally though it was friday yesterday and came to work casual clothed (coz we allowed to wear casuals on a friday)

I just dont understand my thought process that day of why I believed it was a friday

plain faces all round though at work

lol

did you have to go back and change or they let you off

NAH no way I wish, nobody cared really its just I hate drawing attention to myself especially to a fail. ethnic guy rolling around office full of suits with trainers and a hoody how fitting

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Literally though it was friday yesterday and came to work casual clothed (coz we allowed to wear casuals on a friday)

I just dont understand my thought process that day of why I believed it was a friday

plain faces all round though at work

lol

did you have to go back and change or they let you off

thought i had black pepper in my hand

err no

cinnamon

sprinkled a lot in to my eggs was like eff it, ate those bad boys with some pancakes

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Last night at a BBQ.

One guy was rolling beef mince into burgers and I was dropping cayenne pepper onto them in a factory-esque production line type thing to speed it all up.

He rolled. I dropped. He mixed. On the grill. Done.

I had a beer in one hand, and the cayenne pepper bottle in the other.

Was on my 7th or 8th beer so wasn't in the best shape.

I swigged the cayenne pepper bottle instead of the beer.

Fail.

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Literally though it was friday yesterday and came to work casual clothed (coz we allowed to wear casuals on a friday)

I just dont understand my thought process that day of why I believed it was a friday

plain faces all round though at work

:lol:

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Last night at a BBQ.

One guy was rolling beef mince into burgers and I was dropping cayenne pepper onto them in a factory-esque production line type thing to speed it all up.

He rolled. I dropped. He mixed. On the grill. Done.

I had a beer in one hand, and the cayenne pepper bottle in the other.

Was on my 7th or 8th beer so wasn't in the best shape.

I swigged the cayenne pepper bottle instead of the beer.

Fail.

:lol:

I constantly do ridiculously dumb sh*t, its not even like im thick i just dont think about what im doing or saying and make myself look like a twat as a result, cant even think of a recent example right now but i will be back when i do lol

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Last night at a BBQ.

One guy was rolling beef mince into burgers and I was dropping cayenne pepper onto them in a factory-esque production line type thing to speed it all up.

He rolled. I dropped. He mixed. On the grill. Done.

I had a beer in one hand, and the cayenne pepper bottle in the other.

Was on my 7th or 8th beer so wasn't in the best shape.

I swigged the cayenne pepper bottle instead of the beer.

Fail.

ohhhhhhhhhhh

these things are more common after a few drinks eg

using an empty can as an ashtray, start raising it to your mouth instead of the one with beer in....gotta see/smell that sh*t before its too late :lol:

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Was trying to fast forward live TV a couple days ago thinking it was somthing I recorded

was totally baffed at the time aswell, thinkin the remote wasn't working and hitting fast forward on the box

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lololol

I do stupid sh*t when tipsy or high

had a zoot which I put on the top of my ear, forgetting i did this I strapped another one and only clocked when people on the bus was looking at me like wtf look at this degenrate

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I've remembered something now

Last week after washing,drying and straightening my hair, i reached for my hair putty to finish styling it, rubbed it in my hair......turns out id picked up my night cream instead :angry: had to wash my hair and start all over again

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Yesterday...or 2 days ago, I was on the phone and then I remembered my mum asked me for something, so I thought ok, let me quickly text her before I forget.

I'm looking around the room whilst talking on the phone thinking what the f*ck and I actually start getting mad. Then I stood in the corner of the room to just scope properly, I went to check my drawers and put the phone down on the table, open and closed the drawers and went to pick the phone again...was like...

:clueless: .

f*ck off.

I do the same sort of thing with the remote.

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Last night at a BBQ.

One guy was rolling beef mince into burgers and I was dropping cayenne pepper onto them in a factory-esque production line type thing to speed it all up.

He rolled. I dropped. He mixed. On the grill. Done.

I had a beer in one hand, and the cayenne pepper bottle in the other.

Was on my 7th or 8th beer so wasn't in the best shape.

I swigged the cayenne pepper bottle instead of the beer.

Fail.

ohhhhhhhhhhh

these things are more common after a few drinks eg

using an empty can as an ashtray, start raising it to your mouth instead of the one with beer in....gotta see/smell that sh*t before its too late :lol:

or when u ash in ur drink

thats the worst

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Just suffered for 5 mins trying to close an ironing board

/

I dunno how I still manage to f*ck up rice with a rice cooker

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stuck a knife in the toaster few weeks back

caught life

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stuck a knife in the toaster few weeks back

caught life

flippin eck

llow a self retardation moment costing you your life

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