The self retardation thread

[Heero Yuy]

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>making food when your pissed

[Mic Man]

I dunno how I still manage to f*ck up rice with a rice cooker

c/s, but at least it's better than my efforts without a rice cooker

[Gunner]

nearly blew up the micro wave.

Sterilizing my son's feeding utilities, i put a metal object in there.

Come back later when mums bf calls me downstairs.

The whole sterilizer has melted.

felt stupid

[Guest Triple XXX]

llow it im laughin in a library this chick next to me is lookin at me like im some retarded

anyways

before when i had my hair out id always lose my comb n find it on my head wen i walk past a mirror

did the lookin for the phone while on the phone ting

i try not ot have 2 diferent liquids near me like a drink n sutin else or do anything while eatin cos i might confuse them

[Skola]

Last night at a BBQ.

One guy was rolling beef mince into burgers and I was dropping cayenne pepper onto them in a factory-esque production line type thing to speed it all up.

He rolled. I dropped. He mixed. On the grill. Done.

I had a beer in one hand, and the cayenne pepper bottle in the other.

Was on my 7th or 8th beer so wasn't in the best shape.

I swigged the cayenne pepper bottle instead of the beer.

Fail.

ohhhhhhhhhhh

these things are more common after a few drinks eg

using an empty can as an ashtray, start raising it to your mouth instead of the one with beer in....gotta see/smell that sh*t before its too late

or when u ash in ur drink

thats the worst

did that at a poker game the other week

glad it was only a beer

[Guest Lemons]

Hit myself in the face with my desk phone about 10 minutes ago. Like full on powerful smash. Hurt quite a bit.

[E.A.S.E]

Was on auto-pilot

Had bowl with branflakes and glass, took water and milk out fridge, poured the water into the branflakes and the milk into the glass went and sat down lifted the glass of what i thought was water up and was like wtf, looked in my bowl and said FFS LARA!

[manuel]

Just went to take back a pair of jeans but instead of putting the ones I bought in the bag I put a pair of my old ones in.

Kinda embaressing moment at the till when I pulled out some battered old jeans.

[KayGee]

Last night i was laying down with my knees up with resting my laptop. I made a sudden movement, it fell and konked me straight on my nose. I felt to cry.

Worst thing about it is thats about the 3rd time ive done it.

[Dubby]

one night when I was in a hurry to get changed and go clubbin, I dashed my tee at my wall, where my guitar happened to be hanging, the guitar dropped and hit the table where my pizza was on a plate on a stack of paper/books, the plate slid down and flipped over and smashed on the floor

so I was down about 3 slices left of pizza (I was hungry as well), down one plate (I only have 3 here), and have a dent in the bottom of my guitar

pissed how I coulda taken 1 second to walk over to the chair next to the wall where I threw my tee

[Guest Lens]

waking up early and putting the milk in the bowl then the cereal str8 away without warming the milk up first <<<<<<<<<<<<<

posd for the way You prepare Your cereal.

[manuel]

Actually, Was just cleaning the shower because I havent been here for 3 weeks and was scrubbing the dial and accidently turned it on with me underneath (fully clothed)

Werent soaked but still pretty annoyed.

[Axiom]

spent the last half an hour tryna figure out why my printer isn't showing up on my laptop

only to realise i plugged it into my pc

also lol @ warm cereal, wtf wtf animals

[Jodie]

stuck a knife in the toaster few weeks back

caught life

flippin eck

llow a self retardation moment costing you your life

Caught my sister doing that one time.

Should of just let her carry on.

[Grafter]

stuck a knife in the toaster few weeks back

caught life

flippin eck

llow a self retardation moment costing you your life

Caught my sister doing that one time.

Should of just let her carry on.

my brother did it

i see him i was like noooooooooooo

an he was turnin round smilin like lolwut, with the knife still in the toaster

he wasnt harmed but the toaster was kaput

/

warm milk cereal is the ONLY way

[Captain Planet]

Tried to trim nose hair with razor

Two slits right in the entrance of my nostrils, come like tribal scars

There is blood

That is all

FREE CP!

[KayGee]

I done the knife to the toaster, i also put a spoon in the microwave.

/

The only day i held a plastic cup (party cups) between my teeth as i had my hands full.. i forgot and tried to throw my head back to get my hair out of my face.

Ended up with a pretty wet face and hair, that was embarrassing.

[Lieutenant]

I done the knife to the toaster, i also put a spoon in the microwave.

/

The only day i held a plastic cup (party cups) between my teeth as i had my hands full.. i forgot and tried to throw my head back to get my hair out of my face.

Ended up with a pretty wet face and hair, that was embarrassing.

wtf man

/

Got an Indian on saturday and the naan bread was in what I thought was a paperbag, put it in the microwave to warm up and the whole ting just lights up. Some white light. Looked like f*ck*ng lightning. I just hit the stop button, dropped to the floor then went for a walk.

Turns out it was insulated with some metalic shits

[Black Casper]

Last week, was beginning to prepare breakfast and could not wait to have a bowl of cereal with some ice cold milk

Had the bowl, spoon and Frosties out...got the milk out from the fridge.....and without realising the milk cap was lose I proceeded to shake the milk (quite violently as i just couldnt wait to eat) and nearly all of it went flying everywhere....cooker, walls, clothes....ended up being pissed that morning cause of that...just thinking about clening up the mess irritated me

Last year, in the evening i ran a bath and thought I would just lie down for 5 mins while it was running....ended up falling asleep... only to be woken up 20 mins later by my doorbell...I heard the bath still running and shouted 'sh*t' and jumped straight out of my bed, ran through the hall way, hitting my knee on the edge of the wall...which got me running with a crazy limp and water was all over the bathroom floor spilling out into the passageway..

walked downstairs irritated to open the door to my neighbour saying that water is runnng down her wall and asked if everything was ok.....just said i spilled a bucket of water in the bathroom to avoid the embarassment

[Guest Esquilax]

The only day i held a plastic cup (party cups) between my teeth as i had my hands full.. i forgot and tried to throw my head back to get my hair out of my face.

Ended up with a pretty wet face and hair, that was embarrassing.

Comedy writers would pay good money to have ideas like that

[Captain Planet]

[JGGB]

Once holding two drinks in one hand, went to try and drink from the one at the front and in my drunken state completely forgot I was holding the other. One pint fully poured down myself

[Captain Planet]

stuck a knife in the toaster few weeks back

caught life

flippin eck

llow a self retardation moment costing you your life

Caught my sister doing that one time.

Should of just let her carry on.

my brother did it

i see him i was like noooooooooooo

an he was turnin round smilin like lolwut, with the knife still in the toaster

he wasnt harmed but the toaster was kaput

/

warm milk cereal is the ONLY way

lol the imagery is nuts

[Seydou]

lol @ warm milk cereal. Wtf.

Cant contribute much to the topic. Im not a retard.

Ooooowh!

[KayGee]

lol @ warm milk cereal. Wtf.

Have you tried it?