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Angelo

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As of last Sunday, the following now applies:1. I will never give any female the "benefit of the doubt" in any situation my intuition denies ever again.2. I will never "stop being paranoid". If I get a gut feeling, I'll listen to it.3. I will never make allowances for behaviour I would otherwise advise others to not allow, regardless of circumstance.4. I will never kid myself that clichéd phrases mean something else just because she justifies them.5. I will never accept more than 1 or 2 close guy friends. On the same token I will never accept a girl who falls out with girlfriends and gets new ones on a yearly basis.6. I will never date a girl who is influenced easily/depends on friends/a particular friend in order to live her life/make her decisions. Especially if that friend is needy and posessive and feels I'm "taking her friend away" from her.On the flipside:1. I have realised just how much like my father I am in relationships. My parents were married 35 years. My mum knew how my dad felt regardless of how rude, patronising, or out of order he was. My girlfriend didn't. Should stop taking cues from my dad although it's probably too late.2. Being secretive and mysterious is fine initially, and to an extent throughout a relationship. But keeping a guard up and not introducing her to anyone apart from my parents even after 5 months is excessive. The countless arguments of "I feel like you're hiding me away. I've never met your friends" were probably justified.3. Feeling like I still have to play games months in is unhealthy and stressful. It should be the best period, and shouldn't be effort. Save that for after the honeymoon period.4. Sarcasm and dry humour isn't compatible with a bubbly, happy go lucky girlfriend.5. I need to be more demonstrative. Being an emotional cripple does not bode well for a fulfilling relationship.6. I should probably work on the way I deal with things when I don't like them.In conclusion I f*cked up, she f*cked up, and we weren't compatible. But another failed relationship means another set of lessons and I'll be more clued up for when the next girl comes round. The learning curve has to level off somewhere hopefully./Until then 2.5 weeks roadtripping/raving during the world cup in spain is going to be f*ck*ng LIVE. Party islands here I come. This holiday literally could not have come at a better time.

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Guest Triple XXX

i still live by one rule, trust no one, although ive changed it to trust certain people to an extent but it still counts cnt rely on females for sh*t in a relationship i will always think its gonna end badly, n that way when it does at least im prepared

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i learned how to walk away when it's the best option rather than trying when it will eventually fail. best lesson i've learned in a long time. also learn what they've lied about, as it comes out at this time...

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When i split up with my last boyfriend i think the main contributing factor on both parts was jealousy.I think we both made the mistake of finding it almost flattering in the beginning, which then made it spiral out of control and in the end it got to the point where we didnt trust eachother at all, looking back it was pathetic but ive learnt not to tolerate it at all in the future and also control my own feelings and not get jealous about something unless i have solid facts to justify it.

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Jealousy is not good, but for some reason I find that women cannot handle a guy who NEVER gets jealous. My ex actually started to think I didn't care, and females I've dated also thought the same.I'll add things as I remember them, but the MAIN one is to never stop being considerate towards her feelings or her in general. You'll be surprised how loads of little things can build up into one big thing. All too often consideration is replaced with complacency.

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I fully agree with the jealousy thing. I am by nature an extremely jealous person, and every time I cause an argument by being jealous I promise myself I'm going stop, but always go back to it.I've learnt I have to stand up for myself. In the beginning of my last relationship I wasn't so bothered about things, so I did stand up for myself more. But when I started developing real, strong feelings for him, I stopped completely. I was scared that by arguing back, or doing something he didn't want me to do (such as go out), he would break up with me. I became completely subservient in the relationship, which although he said he wanted, I think it also put him off me. Nobody wants a doormat.I'm actually cringing typing this. It sounds so pathetic! I was just on this quest to be the perfect girlfriend. The worst bit is, he still has a major hold over me, which I can't seem to break.Gosh, I feel depressed now.

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O sh*t WHAT HAPPENED WITH THT CHICK ANGELO? WAS SHE BEATIN DON?
lolNah. I knew she was spoilt but didn't realise how it would manifest itself in a fairly serious relationship.She became demanding, mood swings were legendary, she expected things that any normal girl would be happy just to get etc. Got funny about me having one girl on my facebook that I dealt with briefly in Australia, and would get jealous and insecure over the simplest things.The times when the relationship was at its best, paradoxically, were the times we weren't anywhere near each other. I went on holiday 3 or 4 times during it and was out the country for up to a week at a time, and would get the most heartfelt "I love you" and "really really miss you" phonecalls conversations and sh*t from her. The minute I got back though, BANG, mood swings and arguments/unhappiness. Think it was the fact I was unavailable. Times I'd spend half a day with her and things would go fine, the minute I got back home, jump in the shower and by the time I came out I had 5 missed calls. Telling me how she missed me already etc. Looking back she sounds mentally unstable 2bh.Basically the killer for me was her spoilt upbringing. It's a shame because I know that if she was more mature and had a little more life experience we would have probably been a really good match.
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Never had a relationship but what I've learned from past experience...- I'm a shallow f*cker.- I move too fast & too eager.
All true but the highlighted part in particular is most relevant to me. I'm complicated and such I wouldn't drag a female into a relationship if I think she wouldn't be able to deal with the way I am. Which is why I think i've remained single for most of my adult life.
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Lessons - 1. Dont let the doubts slide just to make an easier life, if it sounds too good to be true it probably is.2. Stop making excuses and reasons for someone else's behaviour just because you dont want it to be true. 3. You cant always forgive and forget.4. It cant always be made to work, some things are not meant to be.5. Life goes on, dont live in the past if you wanna make a future. 6. Dont let your emotions get the better of you, show weakness and get eaten alive.Learning -1. Relax, they are not all the same.

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Never had a relationship but what I've learned from past experience...- I'm in love with the idea of love. I don't think I'm at a stage where I can go beyond a honeymoon period.- I'm a shallow f*cker.- I move too fast & too eager.
myy god u sound like me plus im a jeaulous motherf*cker, but i try to hide it
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Guest Yilmaz
1. Follow my instincts at ALL times.2. I cant be with someone who has a lot of female friends.3. I'm too forgiving.4. When i'm upset I get angry, when i get angry i get irrational.There is definitely more.
1. Well, mostly.2. You'll HAVE to lose this if you want to be with a real man imo. Unfortunately, if you limit yourself to black guys (for example) there is a small pool of worthy bachelors lol.3. This isnt a bad thing.4. This is a bad thing. Seek some classes like anger management and of course, wait longer, have higher standards, and choose better men!GL
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1. Follow my instincts at ALL times.2. I cant be with someone who has a lot of female friends.3. I'm too forgiving.4. When i'm upset I get angry, when i get angry i get irrational.There is definitely more.
1. Well, mostly.2. You'll HAVE to lose this if you want to be with a real man imo. Unfortunately, if you limit yourself to black guys (for example) there is a small pool of worthy bachelors lol.3. This isnt a bad thing.4. This is a bad thing. Seek some classes like anger management and of course, wait longer, have higher standards, and choose better men!GL
In regards to the female friend business i just have issues with how geniuine some of these friendships are. I mean myself personally i do have male friends but it has always been that, they never moved to me then got put in the friendzone for example. Bt yh the jealousy thing definitely has to stop. Dont really know how i could tackle that though.
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