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The Somalian

Funny linking story’s share some

54 posts in this topic

Funny linking story’s share some

I know there must be some share make some people smile,

Girls u must of met some dodgy brehs, guys you must of met some

Mad links, share and together we can heal the hurt

Ok in the summer of 2000 1st year of college was done, had no job and no money

So I went to gamestation in Camden and sold my dreamcast and games for £180

And decided I would take up shottin. Any how we started up shop went in hard.

Met this mix race girl down near Highbury can remember her name. But any time

She picked up she would blaze the stuff she brought from me with me in some

Small Park behind the sobell centre (N/A and blackstock should know it) she was

Nice but nothing to spesh standard girl. Any how she started crying and sh*t one morning

Met her around 11am telling me she tried to kill herself. Next thing I know she is showing me

Her arms were you can see all the slice marks were she had tried slitting her wrist.

I was in a postion where I did not know what to say just weird.

At work will try and post more

Over the day

-2

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tbh mate i came in hoping that you were gonna drop some stories of your own

(i would contribute more to this thread if i could)

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ye dinky, ur stories are hollywoodish.

come through. safe

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then you drop some depressing story i dont even have the will to type now

2

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was in the middle of beatin 1 ting den she starts cryin - im thinkin wot the f*ck

den she tells me she has a man - im finkin ok dis aint da first time a chicks dun dis

den she gets up n ders blood on my bed n den she runs to the toilet n she dnt wna come out for tiiiime

she finaly comes out n doesnt wna tell me wat all dat was about. she goes home and neva see or speaks 2 me again

mad

-6

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I was in New York, working as a project manager for a design firm when I met one chick called Jenny Johnson in the subway, I invited her to date and have dinner with me. The chick immediately fell in love with me, we had sex but then she disclosed her true identity, telling me that she is the powerful superhero G-Girl. After meeting my co-worker and friend Hannah Lewis, Jenny became jealous, controlling and manipulative, and I followed the advice of my best friend Vaughn Haige and dumped her, breaking her heart. She turned my life into a living hell basically boying me off at every opportuniy, while I was doing a ting with Hannah. However, whilst all this is going on the archenemy of G-Girl and former high school sweetheart of Jenny, Professor Bedlam tried to get involved and caused some next havoc.

Madness.

5

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funny story one time i went to my boys yard n he had one ting der so i was bored dwnstairs wit his little brother

i fort f*ck dis n txt him sayin im gone was outside leavin n he txt me sayin cum upstairs

i go up now n go in the room n i see him n his ting sitting up under the sheet wit his mum sittin on the table opposite

im finkin wot the fuk - den shes like "u tink dis right?" in her yardie accent

im like wha? n den she goes off on one rant about her yout havin sex in her yard n ting - we were like 14/15 dem times

i look at my boy like u snake y did u tell me to come n hes like it wasnt him - turns out his mum took his fone n told me to come upstairs

ting that killed it was wen my boy tried to answer bak n his mum switched n pulled back the sheets n i see his skinny dry legs loool i had to duck - was 2much for me

his mum >>>

proper embarassed him

4

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I went to this party in Edmonton pure madness

Girls giving shines in the toilets, girls getting f*cked in the loft

The house getting burgled was like one of them myspace partys

But it was some wog socket and she had bare black man and

Turkish and greek guys up in the yard.

Feds came down was a madness

Funny thing is that I went out with one of the girls from the party

Took her v reg always see her about in hackney with her and her 3 kids

Always begging me my number see her on fb now might have to beat for all times

Sake again. But this girl try tell people I tried rape her one time coz I tried having sex with

Her and lied about having a dom on only got 3 strokes b4 she left and left me a voice mail message

Of her crying down the phone. Bitch try tarnish my name about rape you know.

I can get any girl I want (thats what some old Jamaican man said to this women who bushed him yesterday

Made me lol)

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lol madvybz story was bleak but still made me lol

mite hire you to mc at my funeral wen i fake my death soon in search of a fresh start

2

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Mc at a funeral deep lol

Was with my bredrin went to link his ex first time I had met her

I had my headphones on so I did not clock what they were chatting about

I just waved when I saw her. Any how I followed these two to some yard still

Listening to my garage and singing along with a fat grin. Any how we get to this house

Which turns out to be the girls aunts house. I am still bopping my head and grinning theeth

Look around in the yard everyone looked depressed and upset.

Apparently the girls cousin had been killed on a DLR accident and coz I was just listening to music

Minding my own I was oblivious to what happened.

RIP to her cousin but I still LOL at the way the people were looking at me

2

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funny story one time i went to my boys yard n he had one ting der so i was bored dwnstairs wit his little brother

i fort f*ck dis n txt him sayin im gone was outside leavin n he txt me sayin cum upstairs

i go up now n go in the room n i see him n his ting sitting up under the sheet wit his mum sittin on the table opposite

im finkin wot the fuk - den shes like "u tink dis right?" in her yardie accent

im like wha? n den she goes off on one rant about her yout havin sex in her yard n ting - we were like 14/15 dem times

i look at my boy like u snake y did u tell me to come n hes like it wasnt him - turns out his mum took his fone n told me to come upstairs

ting that killed it was wen my boy tried to answer bak n his mum switched n pulled back the sheets n i see his skinny dry legs loool i had to duck - was 2much for me

his mum >>>

proper embarassed him

:rofl:

0

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funny story one time i went to my boys yard n he had one ting der so i was bored dwnstairs wit his little brother

i fort f*ck dis n txt him sayin im gone was outside leavin n he txt me sayin cum upstairs

i go up now n go in the room n i see him n his ting sitting up under the sheet wit his mum sittin on the table opposite

im finkin wot the fuk - den shes like "u tink dis right?" in her yardie accent

im like wha? n den she goes off on one rant about her yout havin sex in her yard n ting - we were like 14/15 dem times

i look at my boy like u snake y did u tell me to come n hes like it wasnt him - turns out his mum took his fone n told me to come upstairs

ting that killed it was wen my boy tried to answer bak n his mum switched n pulled back the sheets n i see his skinny dry legs loool i had to duck - was 2much for me

his mum >>>

proper embarassed him

:rofl:

u tink dis right? :lol: can hear my mum saying it

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lol at ever bringing a girl home when ur mum is of jammo heritage tho.

never ever ever ever ever.

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Many moons ago. . .

I was beating this white ting and she just suddenly shouts out in a moanish, eyes rolling to the back of her head & sexy tone 'f*ck me harder you black bastard'. The way I stopped mid push for a few seconds then carried on going slowly while pondering 'did this chick just racially abuse me?'.

The killer ting was I couldn't even stop/switch even if I wanted to, the beat was so sweet & emotional I just continued. After, I didn't even bother questioning her about it.

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:lol:

How can she Thun you

6

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lol wrong time to talk about the illuminati

all the stories have been good so far :Y:

-1

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Loooool

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There was this friend of a friend that i always liked but never had a chance to link, to cut a long story short i bumped into her in the high street got her number and agreed to take her out on the saturday,

i pick her up on saturday and shes looking stunning, we go to a bar the conversations flowing everything is good..at about 2.30 she asks me if i want to come back to her place, im thinking result in in there....

in her house she gets out some wine and we start drinking , then she goes to her bedroom to change and comes out wearing some negligee ,fast forward five minutes and my belt buckle and fly is undone im feeling up her breasts and we are lipsing like crazy...

she then says to me "do you mind if i put in a dvd?"......im thinking "rah this girl is oldskool, she wants to watch a porno"....obviously i said cool

she puts in the dvd and its some 9/11 illuminati conspiracy nonsense , so im thinking shes obviously put in the wrong dvd shes gonna get up and change it any second...

the bitch then asked me "do you think George Bush planned 9/11...im thinking wtf... its 3am im sitting here with my trousers undone a massive hard-on, your tits are out of your negligee and you want to ask me about illuminati?.... at this point i was just so confused at the randomness ao i just said "what?"...then she goes into some rant about how "the white man is the devil and responsible for all the worlds wickedness" etc etc...... all the while her tits are still hanging out of her negligee.....

i was just sat there thinking is this bitch serious....how can you go from hand on my d*ck to thinking about illuminati at 3 f*ck*ng am.....then she had the cheek to tell me she had the part 2 of the dvd.....I just got into my car and left....i aint called the stupid woman since...im still pissed about it ^)

:rofl: :rofl:

HAD ME CREASIN

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There was this friend of a friend that i always liked but never had a chance to link, to cut a long story short i bumped into her in the high street got her number and agreed to take her out on the saturday,

i pick her up on saturday and shes looking stunning, we go to a bar the conversations flowing everything is good..at about 2.30 she asks me if i want to come back to her place, im thinking result in in there....

in her house she gets out some wine and we start drinking , then she goes to her bedroom to change and comes out wearing some negligee ,fast forward five minutes and my belt buckle and fly is undone im feeling up her breasts and we are lipsing like crazy...

she then says to me "do you mind if i put in a dvd?"......im thinking "rah this girl is oldskool, she wants to watch a porno"....obviously i said cool

she puts in the dvd and its some 9/11 illuminati conspiracy nonsense , so im thinking shes obviously put in the wrong dvd shes gonna get up and change it any second...

the bitch then asked me "do you think George Bush planned 9/11...im thinking wtf... its 3am im sitting here with my trousers undone a massive hard-on, your tits are out of your negligee and you want to ask me about illuminati?.... at this point i was just so confused at the randomness ao i just said "what?"...then she goes into some rant about how "the white man is the devil and responsible for all the worlds wickedness" etc etc...... all the while her tits are still hanging out of her negligee.....

i was just sat there thinking is this bitch serious....how can you go from hand on my d*ck to thinking about illuminati at 3 f*ck*ng am.....then she had the cheek to tell me she had the part 2 of the dvd.....I just got into my car and left....i aint called the stupid woman since...im still pissed about it ^)

:rofl: :rofl:

HAD ME CREASIN

0

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lmao reminded me of when i attempted to start convo on astral projection after sex

man just :mellow: closed his eyes and went to sleep

next time, im about 15, went to what we thought was a ''free yard'', parents came home early and everything turned into a horror movie

there i am sitting in pitch black bedroom tryna plot the escape route as i could hear the footsteps coming closer, mission failed boy, the dad locked on the light like :huh: 'this look like a brothel to you people?'

u know them yes sir no sir, no eye contact responses there, man just dismissed everyone one time, we all left smh'ing and looking back at the yard feeling it in our hearts that the yout was getting beaten as we walked away into the night tasting the freedom of the roadsides with each step

-2

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lmao reminded me of when i attempted to start convo on astral projection after sex

man just :mellow: closed his eyes and went to sleep

next time, im about 15, went to what we thought was a ''free yard'', parents came home early and everything turned into a horror movie

there i am sitting in pitch black bedroom tryna plot the escape route as i could hear the footsteps coming closer, mission failed boy, the dad locked on the light like :huh: 'this look like a brothel to you people?'

u know them yes sir no sir, no eye contact responses there, man just dismissed everyone one time, we all left smh'ing and looking back at the yard feeling it in our hearts that the yout was getting beaten as we walked away into the night tasting the freedom of the roadsides with each step

:lmao:

the beats...i can imagine just hearing it

0

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