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Mr Q

Can you be friends with an ex?

33 posts in this topic

I had an unfortunate convo the other day, was asked how I felt by my ex, and I said I saw her as nothing more than a friend. She switched, claimed I was wrong blah blah etc. But, I thought that was the least hurtful thing I could of said. This convo and the quote below, have made me think that perhaps it is, normally not a very good to be friends with an ex.

They say that if you’re still friends with someone you were involved with, you either still have feelings for them, or you never did.
What say you VIP2?
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No.If the relationship was serious, definate no. If it was some 1-2 month thing, then yes as real feelings wouldn't of developed yet.

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No..(unless like Necks said about the 1-2 month thing)Rarely does a long-term relationship end through mutual parting. It ends because one party isn't happy and they either force their way out or bring the other person around to there way of thinking. What Im trying to get at here is that someone in that relationship didn't really want it to end, which means their feelings are potentially (but more than likely) still there for some time.You in your situation cannot call your ex a friend, she sounds exactly the sort of ex who wouldn't hesitate to cockblock you in a instant, who sounds like she doesn't want you to move on??Don't confuse friendship with being civilised though and thats what you should tell yourself if anything. That your on civilised terms with your ex, nothing more and nothing Less.

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Cannot imagine ever being just friends with my current gf if we were to break up, been with her 3 years. /The quote in the OP pretty much sums it up.

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no. what would i benefit out of it.the word 'friend' has lost so much value these days.c/s just remaining civil

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No..(unless like Necks said about the 1-2 month thing)Rarely does a long-term relationship end through mutual parting. It ends because one party isn't happy and they either force their way out or bring the other person around to there way of thinking. What Im trying to get at here is that someone in that relationship didn't really want it to end, which means their feelings are potentially (but more than likely) still there for some time.You in your situation cannot call your ex a friend, she sounds exactly the sort of ex who wouldn't hesitate to cockblock you in a instant, who sounds like she doesn't want you to move on??Don't confuse friendship with being civilised though and thats what you should tell yourself if anything. That your on civilised terms with your ex, nothing more and nothing Less.
lol, she would do more than cockblock, probably try kill the girl. But yeah pretty much c/s your post. I mainly said friend because, I naively thought it was the better than saying I see you as nothing. when in fact I should of said that. (seeing as me telling her there isn't even a minute chance of us ever getting back together, didn't send the right signals :D )
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No.If the relationship was serious, definate no. If it was some 1-2 month thing, then yes as real feelings wouldn't of developed yet.
This.
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No1. Its unfair on your future partners, id hate for my gal to be friends with her ex sleeping in paranoid filled sweat particles 2. She will eventually tarnish that image of her when she turns loose and your not in a positions to stop it3. She will try and f*ck you for as long as she is alive4. When she gets a partner very likely you will get jealous no matter how hard you try not to your only human5. You wanted her out of your life for a reason in the first place so why let her back into it

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ex was like if i want to be friends ive got to show her that i really want to be. aint spoke sinceno

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Question's too broad. The only answer is:It depends on the people involved and to a lesser extent how it ended.

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That quote is right.Me and a "ex" who only went out a couple months are very cool with each other because to b quite honest that relationship was a joke ting.However I've tried to be friends with another ex and its effing ridiculous. If I see you yh I'll say hi an whatever bt no need for phonecalls an the likes. Too much emotion!

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The simple answer = No.If you stay friends and in contact after you break up its coz one person still has feelings. People need space to move on, let feelings fade and get on with their lives. 3 people I know who have handled break ups in different ways have had varying success.One who had no contact with his ex for a year or more after breaking up, they arent friends now but are civil in each others company (finally) and meet now and again to chat / catch up on how life is treating each other. This seems reasonable - not a friendship just staying in loose contact over the years post break up.Another had a few months without contact with his ex then they became close friends. This is wrong. I didnt want to say coz I dont know him well but after several months they kissed perhaps even slept together so that could turn into a messy one.Friend number 3 never broke contact with his ex and they had one of those messy on/off/on things where they still shared their main circle of friends and ended up sleeping together so many times but after a year of ups/downs fights/makeups they have had a massive falling out and are FINALLY not in contact. Wasnt much reason to put themselves and their friends through that other than weakness.

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Depends. If it was a muckabout thing then you can be friends, but if it was serious then no./Infact, f*ck it, it's not cool to be. I would never tolerate my woman being friends with an ex.

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tried to be friends with my exdid not workshes still tryna chart to me n gets angry went i tell her one word repliesdnt know what her f*ckin problem is i dont even want to be friends with her but she always tries to guilt trip meshe can f*ck off

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no f*ck friendship, has been said already but usually you say that when you dont want to hurt her feelings by saying i feel nothing which itself is selfish because everyone deserves to know where they stand

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My girlfriend is still cool with her ex. She see's him most weekends and stays at his house quite a lot. I don't have a major problem with it as I trust her.lol.

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My girlfriend is still cool with her ex. She see's him most weekends and stays at his house quite a lot. I don't have a major problem with it as I trust her.lol.
:D
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i wanna bang my ex's best friend stillno idea how im gonna achieve this..

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Boy,from my experience the answer is no....Cant explain for now. but, put this way 'You cant cruise on the relationship lane on a lane with debris on it.'

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Why are people blanketly saying no lol?It's very possible to be friends with an ex.

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You can't whilst there are still active feelings there, whether they are positive or negative.Me and my most recent ex tried the friend thing but it always leads to more. I'm too in love with him to just be his friend.My ex before that I was with for 2 years pretty much, and he cheated. At the time it was really raw and although we did speak it just couldn't be friends. He got in contact with me a year ago out of the blue to apologise for being a d*ck, and I really appreciated it. I haven't spoken to him since but now there are no feelings there, I could be civil with him. No point in actually being friends with him though, it would be a bit pointless.

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I was hoping this was an old topic bumped up again by some newbie. And what do I see?SMH @ asking this question in 2010.Anyone who would like me to elaborate feel free to ask. :D

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