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Ashman

Once a cheater always a cheater?

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If someone cheated on you, could you forgive them and stay with them? or do you believe that once a cheater always a cheater; pack your bags and move on?Discuss.

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Good question. Good thread. Unfortunately I don't have a good reply as I honestly don't know. I would like to say I could forgive but I could never forget and I would always question that person's judgement as there must have been a build up to that point. This is assuming it's a one time kiss that ended with her freaking out after half a second and running from him to come tell me. Anything else and she's dead (either to me or in the regular way).

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Good question. Good thread. Unfortunately I don't have a good reply as I honestly don't know. I would like to say I could forgive but I could never forget and I would always question that person's judgement as there must have been a build up to that point. This is assuming it's a one time kiss that ended with her freaking out after half a second and running from him to come tell me. Anything else and she's dead (either to me or in the regular way).
I am talking as in full cheating = having sex with someone else + the extras
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matedont take her back/
:D /Depends on the situation, children, life stage, etcMore than likely, no though.
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The answer for me is yes, dependent on what I felt for the chick. If she was like my wife or something I'm not sure (as it's obv never happened) but if it was just a girl that I KNEW I wasn't gonna end up with, and she was just convenient to have around, then sure why not?Obviously the entire circumstances surrounding the affair (in both senses) would influence my decision, but broadly, yes I could stay with someone if they had sex with someone else.

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The answer for me is yes, dependent on what I felt for the chick. If she was like my wife or something I'm not sure (as it's obv never happened) but if it was just a girl that I KNEW I wasn't gonna end up with, and she was just convenient to have around, then sure why not?Obviously the entire circumstances surrounding the affair (in both senses) would influence my decision, but broadly, yes I could stay with someone if they had sex with someone else.
The circumstances are that you loved the girl. Thought she was gonna be the one you ended up with etc. etc.Not married, just a girlfriend.
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You think/thought she's your soulmate?My reasoning is, I genuinely believe we have about 423534 'soulmates'.Finding suitable women out there is easy.

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You think/thought she's your soulmate?My reasoning is, I genuinely believe we have about 423534 'soulmates'.Finding suitable women out there is easy.
Well, soulmate, 'the one' or whatever.. you are with someone, you love them, do everything for them and they sleep with someone else. They claim to be sorry for their actions and say they will never do it again.Believe them and give them a chance, or don't risk it for a buscuit and move on is what I am really trying to get answers on.
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Dunno about the once a cheater always a cheater thing, but if I got cheated on, straight dumpage.As I've always said, I have no problem with you wanted to bop someone else, aslong as you end things with me. Can't eat you cake and have it.And tbh I've dumped a girl because I wanted to boink someone else IObviously knowing it'd be over for good)She didn't appreciate the gesture at the time though :D

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Dunno about the once a cheater always a cheater thing, but if I got cheated on, straight dumpage.As I've always said, I have no problem with you wanted to bop someone else, aslong as you end things with me. Can't eat you cake and have it.And tbh I've dumped a girl because I wanted to boink someone else IObviously knowing it'd be over for good)She didn't appreciate the gesture at the time though :D
Fair enough knowing it would be over for good, but do you think it is acceptable to dump someone knowing you are gonna bang someone else in the breakage and then get back with the person knowing you will end up fixing it with them? or would you accept if a chick done this to you?
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The answer for me is yes, dependent on what I felt for the chick. If she was like my wife or something I'm not sure (as it's obv never happened) but if it was just a girl that I KNEW I wasn't gonna end up with, and she was just convenient to have around, then sure why not?Obviously the entire circumstances surrounding the affair (in both senses) would influence my decision, but broadly, yes I could stay with someone if they had sex with someone else.
The circumstances are that you loved the girl. Thought she was gonna be the one you ended up with etc. etc.Not married, just a girlfriend.
Never been in the situation, but I think not tbh, unless I was indirectly responsible through my treatment of her or something.The point here is Ash, that you have to act upon your own feelings and impulses. No one else can make these decisions for you. good luck whatever choice you make.
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Don't think I could ever stay with someone after they cheated, been in that situation before and ended it straight away, as soon as I found out his stuff was outside before he even got home from work and had a chance to try and talk himself out of it. The only reason I say I'm not 100% if that would always be the case is because it might be different if I had kids with them or we were married,I haven't been in that situation to know,saying that I still reckon that would be relationship done, I just can't see a way back from something like that

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Don't think I could ever stay with someone after they cheated, been in that situation before and ended it straight away, as soon as I found out his stuff was outside before he even got home from work and had a chance to try and talk himself out of it. The only reason I say I'm not 100% if that would always be the case is because it might be different if I had kids with them or we were married,I haven't been in that situation to know,saying that I still reckon that would be relationship done, I just can't see a way back from something like that
sh*t happens darling. You sound like a drama queen (bee)
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wouldn't take back some1 who cheated. would be disgusted at the sight of themBUT@ thread title, i cheated during my earlier days when sex in relationships seemed the only option, added to me not valuing important relationships that much and getting in relationships with girls who should have just been links. now i dnt cheaso i was once a cheater, not always one tho. thats135d1192128373-vzw-vs-sprint-who-really-better-my2cents.jpg

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@ Yilmaz - that's just the way I see it, i wouldn't be able to forgive or forget so continuing a relationship with them when all it would do is make both our lives miserable seems like a waste of time to me

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I'd see it like this.If someone cheats on one person, it doesn't mean they'll cheat on another. However if you've been cheated on and decide to continue in that relationship, don't live in expectation that it won't happen again.

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Dunno about the once a cheater always a cheater thing, but if I got cheated on, straight dumpage.As I've always said, I have no problem with you wanted to bop someone else, aslong as you end things with me. Can't eat you cake and have it.And tbh I've dumped a girl because I wanted to boink someone else IObviously knowing it'd be over for good)She didn't appreciate the gesture at the time though :D
Fair enough knowing it would be over for good, but do you think it is acceptable to dump someone knowing you are gonna bang someone else in the breakage and then get back with the person knowing you will end up fixing it with them? or would you accept if a chick done this to you?
No chick can do this with me as I wouldn't take them back, and I wouldn't do it expecting to be taken back.But yeah it's acceptable to dump someone on grounds of wanting to get with someone else, as long as you accept that there's no going back.
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You think/thought she's your soulmate?My reasoning is, I genuinely believe we have about 423534 'soulmates'.Finding suitable women out there is easy.
Well, soulmate, 'the one' or whatever.. you are with someone, you love them, do everything for them and they sleep with someone else. They claim to be sorry for their actions and say they will never do it again.Believe them and give them a chance, or don't risk it for a buscuit and move on is what I am really trying to get answers on.
Dont risk it.You gav them everything you have, and trusted them, and they betrayed you. There was no justifiable reason for it to happen in the first place, but it happened, and could therefore easily happen again IMOWomen, I beleive, either cheat in relationships or dont from my experience. It shows how they handle emotions/problems in relationships. If you stray to someone else / do something stupid in a moment of weakness - I dont see that as a one off.EDIT:BUT.....life is never so simple. People have cheated on each other and got back together, maybe even had successful relationships in the end. Doubt I'd risk getting hurt again if I was in that position.
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@ Yilmaz - that's just the way I see it, i wouldn't be able to forgive or forget so continuing a relationship with them when all it would do is make both our lives miserable seems like a waste of time to me
This is just it. Basically, I have forgiven the girl and taken her back. And to be honest, she is trying so hard but I just keep randomly getting so angry that I keep bringing it up or I just go off on ones because in my head it is still there. I forgive her but it's the forgetting that is the hard part. It's like I am the one making things miserable now. I do love the girl, I know she loves me, I am just finding it so difficult to move forward.Ok here is the full scenario..I met this girl from Uni, started going out in November last year. Being a single parent like me, we kinda had a lot in common (so I thought) and we were quite close. In Februrary, the Uni organised a trip to France for our history lesson, I paid for her to come with me as I thought she tried so hard to be a good mum to her little one and I cared for here a lot so thought she deserved to be treated nicely. On the first day away she ended up kissing some guy behind my back, she blanked me or argued most of the weekend and she was hanging around with the next man from my class. When we got back I told her we were finished and to go but somehow managed to work things. For months after, she still had the guy she kissed on Facebook, I told her to delete him as it affected me and she never did. Even found out she took his number and had it on her phone. Said she dont like being controlled. But then I found messages between them, with him dissing me and her basically appologising on my behalf and her dissing me to him behind my back. Still, worked through all that. (baring in mind we have met each others kids and I have grown quite fond of hers to just walk away). Then a few weeks ago she confessed to sleeping with and sucking the guy off back in february. I went nuts and called her every name under the sun, she attacked me, I did not retaliate and walked out to which she phoned me crying and begging for me to come back and that she was sorry. I went back, sorted things and forgave her. I sent him a message and threatened to kill him to which he said he is gonna get legal advice to which I told him he is gonna need it. Now I have to go back to Uni with a lot of people knowing about this. The guy she banged has a reputation at Uni for banging bare girls and f*ck*ng girls over; obviously had her fooled or maybe that's what she liked. Either way I am finding it very hard to trust her again now. The slightest bit of distance from her sends me off her and don't know how to move forward or face people at uni again or see him without hurting the guy. She has now deleted the guy off facebook and his number but sh*t is still affecting me and I feel I am the one making life miserable now when she is trying. All this stress lead to me failing my first year at uni and so had to take a resit and extenuating circumstances. Hopefully will make to year 2. She passed with a first.
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Not sure if this is an excessive plug for your new tune, but she took the piss on every conceivable level.

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Not sure if this is an excessive plug for your new tune, but she took the piss on every conceivable level.
Naa I just thought people might understand a little more through my song to how cut up I am about this. She knew my ex wife did the dirty on em and she promised in the begining never to cheat on me. She is saying but we broke up when she slept with the guy but going back, we didn't break up, we had an argument and I deleted her from my facebook but the argument seems to have been encouraged on her behalf so she could go off and do things. We never ofically broke up or said we are having a break. As far as I am concerned, we were still together and she knows it.
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Manthe same time you pay for this trip for her...she is with another man behind your backdeceiving youshe created this whole messi understand you are both suited to each other to an extent (single parents etc)....but it seems like you now have a big problem between you tooin time you might manage to get over it / forgive / forget...but it will always be in the back of your mind.i wonder how her relationship with the father ended...regardless of who was to blame, seems like she has issues.

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