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to err is human to forgive divine

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We've had a couple topic on forgiveness in the past but here im not just talkin about if someone cheats on youI'm talking about forgiveness in general, for any wrong doing, if possible I want to keep this discussion away from the focus of cheating on ur partner or being cheated onWhen do you start spiting yourself, when you choose not to forgive?I dont think I have ever truly forgiven someone for doing something which has actually affected meI tend to cut anyone who does me wrong off if they arent family, but when its family i have a mental record an i put it in my frame of reference for dealing with that personhas anyone here actually genuinely achieved forgiveness? how long did it take? how heinous was the deed?The other day i saw somebody who did me wrong, an i remembered all the good times for a split second then i was like nah he mugged me off how can i reconcilehow can i reconcile with someone who has mugged me off?Is the line between forgiveness and forgetting thin?I feel like my inability to forgive is stifling

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every1's gonna do You wrongi say only cut them off if it seems characteristic of them, or redefines them as a person ( i e s/he would do it repeatedly, or it changes Your whole perception of the person )also a lack of remorse is keyBUTholdin grudges ain't healthy, decide if You're gonna keep them in Your life or not, if You do, give them a clean slate. allow bein the relative who You still speak 2, but by the way, i'm still mad at You for ____ and i'm gonna bring it up for ever. in that case, the person has every right to cut You off for that.

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big verse still!and its true, more for ur own sanity and personal equilibrium than anything elsethere will be times I will hurt people and their forgiveness will be appreciated, so hard as it is cah im stubborn, i try to do so myselfalso, malice and negativity harbored over time weigh heavy on the heart, this is what serves as a great breeding ground for dis-ease and ailmentsas lofty as it may seem, MAAT is a powerful kind of livity because it enables you to grow in the confidence and knowledge that the universe distributes justice accordinglynow the mistake we often make is thinking forgiveness involves us turning docile and fool, no imo it means moving on, you dont have to remain in contact with those who do you wrong, but you should remove all negative thoughts or energy you have toward them from your systemi fell out with a good friend of 7 years, everyone said we should stop being silly and talk again, but i couldnt see it happening, however after a while, i thought about positive energy we both shared and created and it helped me to understand that what happened wasnt a falling out with each other it was just growing apartsince i accepted that, nuff good opportunities have come in to my life that i put down to my personal development from that incident as your circle changes so does your way of living/thinking

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I know you said to leave relationships out of it, but I chose not to listen...Me and my ex split up, she got engaged 2 months later and got married a couple weeks ago.The fact we broke up doesn't hurt (though it did at the time)Its more the fact that someone who played an important part in my life wouldn't play any further part. But at the end of the day the whole episode made me grow physically, mentally and spiritually. I'm a better person, so in that sense I should forgive her because consequently the events made me find myself and my life is for the better.But I wont. ever. till the day I die.I'm stubborn like that.What I guess I'm trying to say is, live YOUR life.We've all done wrong at one time or another, and depending on the severity of the issue, we can choose to forgive and forget.Life is too short to stay bitter, if you feel that the person is integral to your life or well-being (HOWEVER SMALL!) you should try to be the bigger person and llow the beef.But if they can be replaced, shiiiiiiiit, f*ck em! Don't hold a grudge, just keep it moving.

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Done a complete U-Turn on some of my set in stone ways of thinking in the last 2/3 months./Most of the time I've found when someone wrongs me I wasn't entirely innocent.Only when I've grown/matured do I see it.So in a sense I think if you're unable to forgive anyone you're f*cked coz the one common denominator in all of it is you./Most recently forgiven my ex for being a c*nt. Only because I was a c*nt to her. Would be happy to remain civil as we share so much in common and if I'm totally honest I reckon if we'd met at different times in our lives we'd still be together.Having said that my current girlfriend would probably rip my balls off if she saw this so I'm out.

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i hardly forgiveVERY stubborndnt know y either, ill get so stuck in my ways ill forget why im even mad at you but still be mad at youbut i generally just dont dwell on it i try to live a happy lifei just wont forgive you

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I forgive a lot and I'm happy I do, however you can never forget.There is one person though who took the piss yrs ago and I'll glad not speak to that person.Guarenteed every time they see me they try to say hello but its a straight ignore/ "why r u talkin to me" thing!

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I have fallen out with my best friend that I have known since I was 3 years old. I have been firm friends with her for nearly twenty years. This girl is in every memory.As they say, there is three sides of every story. My side. Their side and then the truth. Therefore I am not going to explain the situation as it may not be entirely accurate.I have not spoken to her in months and months. I have not seen her in months and months. We live one road away from each other.Even though I have felt slighted, sometimes you have to just say f*ck it, I miss you, let's not break up. This is us.It is stressing me out and I need to make sure everything is fine for my own peace of mind.If you don't ever forgive properly then you will never forget. We only remember the good or bad things that happen to us an individuals. Nothing in between.

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for them 1s, i'd go for a simple "i jus want You 2 know i dnt hate You, or have anything against You" maybe apologize for Your part in it, and say it's in her hands. big weight will be off Your chest and You can say You did Your bit to mend a seemingly important friendship

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For real, just gotta take the L.

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Agreed.Last couple of sentences from an email I sent to my ex a little while after we'd broken up are below.Wouldn't have bothered if she was any girl, but we were friends for almost 6 years before we hooked up, we share a hell of a lot of friends/venues and interests, and I genuinely wanted to try and be as mature as I could about the situation."Our arguments and clashes were unnecessary, and I regret that we both saw a side of each other that perhaps we wouldn't have seen had we become involved at a different time in our lives. Neither you, nor I can apologise for this. It's just life. I can see this now, and any hurt I caused you I hope will be met with the same forgiveness that yours is met with me. I wish you all the best...(blanked coz it's bait)...and happiness for the future."Whether or not she took it as kindness for weakness or thought I wasn't over her etc. I'm not bothered. She did try and get in touch a few times after I'd sent the email but I was never around to take the call. I said my piece. It's liberating sometimes instead of holding all this resentment and bitterness/stubborness, to just let your guard down and let it go. I've never done it ever, so it was something new for me.The next new thing for me will be to test the waters just by sending a friendly courtesy email or birthday message next just to reiterate that for the sake of both of us I'd like us to remain civil.New horizons man I'm scared. Rambling now anyway.

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people are still only talking about EXs and their relationships!!! (theres plenty other threads to air your mills and boons stories )ive come to understand what to forgive and "forget" means. technically we cant forget most things, especially when hurt by someoneso to forget is to act towards that person as if nothing ever happened. ive been able to do it, and i think you learn to forgive better that way.another reason why i cant hold malice too long is that i then think more about that person, so in the end it tears me up more thanjust holding a grudge. might as well just make up and clear my thoughts. im learning that Hate is just a waste of very powerful negative energy, like CO2, its useless to humans and is a silent killer.

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thread starter didn't say anything against talkin about exeshe said dnt talk about forgiving them for cheating, specifically cheating.

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people are still only talking about EXs and their relationships!!! (theres plenty other threads to air your mills and boons stories )ive come to understand what to forgive and "forget" means. technically we cant forget most things, especially when hurt by someoneso to forget is to act towards that person as if nothing ever happened. ive been able to do it, and i think you learn to forgive better that way.
so what is forgiveness? if forgetting is acting as if nothing has happened
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forgiveness is more about understanding how it came to what it did from a neutral stand point imoThe nuetrality allows for clairvoyance and breathing a sigh of relief that the grievance is slowly fading to black

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people are still only talking about EXs and their relationships!!! (theres plenty other threads to air your mills and boons stories )ive come to understand what to forgive and "forget" means. technically we cant forget most things, especially when hurt by someoneso to forget is to act towards that person as if nothing ever happened. ive been able to do it, and i think you learn to forgive better that way.
so what is forgiveness? if forgetting is acting as if nothing has happened
i see it as there are two stages1st stage: the act of overlooking what was done previously. so if someone stole from you cos you gave the person your trust, real forgiveness is not just to forgive the person but never trusting them in the same situation again, but rather to act like you did the first time when you trusted the person. acting like you've 'forgotten' what happened previously. and not at our own time, or over time but immediately the person acknowledges any wrong doing and asks for forgiveness. cos forgiving is being ready to be hurt again..thats what the saying "to forgive is divine" really talks about,,,cos how many of us can do this easily.2nd stage: is when the person doesn't acknowledge any wrong doing, but you can still forgive the person to free yourself from holding a grudge. and i suppose the situation of withholding trust can be valid here...
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im a forgiving person i may not always let the forgiveness be known but in my heart i know people are only human and life's too short to get worked up over cuntish behaviourswe're not talking major violations here

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I only forgave when he died. Step-dad & the man I consider my true father.It irks me & will continue to do so for years to come I think.

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Well my tightest friend for 10 years snaked me Jan 09 still dont talk the hate has died down abit but when I drive past him or see him on FB in pics etc or commenting on peoples pages it brings back the angerTimes I think rah if he died 2moro id feel pissed but if I died he would feel 1000x worse cuntWith me if i trust you it is a very important thing and because of this incident and a couple other with other ''friends'' since I dont actually trust anyone anymore it annoys some people when I dont tell them stuff but they have to understand my reasons when I tell them AlsoFriends + Money = The worse come out in people

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I think letting your guard down is a necessary step.I was so preoccupied with making sure I was not being violated/taken for a d*ckhead/seen as vulnerable and that eventually I completely lost sight of the situation at hand and the reasons behind it. ---The following does not refer to any previous post I have so far mentioned.MameBD the exact thing happened to me. It was the strangest sensation. The moment of realisation regarding what had happened broke my heart.Clarity will soon find you and haunt your thoughts. Although you may have been slighted you need to move on and harbour no bad feelings or take the L and resolve it. I can say this now but for 11months I have been on some next bitter flex. When someone significant snakes you from NOWHERE, you lose your mind. I did.Your on an individual hype [Kevin Hart] IT'S ABOUT TO GOOOO DOOOOWWWWN [Kevin Hart.]Generally It's sad when someone has hurt you and you see all these bad qualities and malice capabilties in them that you never knew existed. On the other hand, maybe you did but decided to ignore these traits as it did not affect you. If we're being real, most of us turn a blind eye unless it affects but the moment it does then we become all righteous.*Advertisement break as I need to go to work*

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i can forgive,but i wont forgeti think george w bush put it best wen he said

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i can forgive,but i wont forgeti think george w bush put it best wen he said

LOLhow was this guy runnin it for so long
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You have to learn to be brutal and NOT forgive. Mistakes are made during the concious state of mind hence the remembrance of the mistake. If I make a mistake I expect no forgiveness, rather sympathy and understanding.

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'Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do'jus had a small chat about thisyou should forgive or at least find it easier to forgive those who didn't understand when they did you wrong that it was wrongits a whole different matter when the person intentionally hurts youbut what gets me in the first instance is the disregard for how i would feelthere may not have been intent, but the lack of thought gets me

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