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thinkingthuglife

xmas stories

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Woz works xmas night out last night innit so we gets 2 pub bout 15 of us 4 about 4.30 for a round of drinks. Everyone has drinks n a shot of they're favourite drink. real nigga so I had a jD n coke n a shot of henney neat. Drinks got swallowed n We start walking into town. nx pub n drinks r flowing n i'm buzzing like coz still haven't had 2 open wallet one of line managers orders the wines in! a niggas feelin nice. Anyway cut to about 7ish and ppl are started to feel a little tipsy. Few ppl start to drop out 1 chik got sent home in a taxi after she kept falling off her chair! miserable bitch so it was good for morale. Anyway the rest of us so we move into the thick of things in town.

We've done about 7 or 8 drinks b then n One of the MILFs from the office sits nx to me n starts opening up about how I give her joke at work n sh*t n asking what mans doin over xmas so I tell her i'm goin brum 4 a few days. Check the 1 now she starts opening up differently saying she loves xmas so i'm doin all that 'nah, you'll find a man easy' sh*t n 'truss if u ever went Jamaica you'd be gold. Us black men appreciated curves... U should branch out' kinda sh*t. two twos theres only 5 of us left around the table.

Anyway now so alarm bells are starting 2 ring but me n one of the shift managers r walking to next bar hand n hand. Nx ting now infront of other ppl who work there she giving me reach arounds. Manager ain't peng but she looks dirty. Nx place we go to has comfortable sofas in corner. Me Sally and Trisha sit on 1 n Harpreet n Toney on other. We just vibesin n Trisha starts putting her hand on my leg and talking about how it was like a custard cream wi choclate in middle!! bare jk so i'm chatin vybes. A niggas in the danger zone cah it could go down. Harpreet gets the vibes and meks himself scarce. Sally then starts gettin tusty n all. Tony see's he ain't getting involvement so eventually fuks of home. Anyway night goes on wi just us 3 left.

Don't even know why but I was lean innit so we were doing sum mad dancing to sum xmas music. I swung Sally round n dropped her on the floor a couple times coz i was that drunk! she laughed it off n got back up. A nigga dodged a bullet. then Trish started dancin wi me n I was daggering that silly she kept puttin my hands on her tits n sh*t. We sat b down but 1 more drink n i left alone. Think I did the right thing but kinda flopped n all coz the MILF was ripe. Gonna have 2 put it in the wank bank instead looool. Seen Trish at work 2 day and she was like nothin happen but every1 gev me a round of applause when I clocked in. must b sum mad rumours flying.

bad day out of office!

any of yous got any stories?

-3

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Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.

And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature sleigh, and eight tinny reindeer.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be St Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! On, Cupid! on, on Donner and Blitzen!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.

So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,

With the sleigh full of Toys, and St Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney St Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.

A bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

1

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Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.

And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature sleigh, and eight tinny reindeer.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be St Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! On, Cupid! on, on Donner and Blitzen!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.

So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,

With the sleigh full of Toys, and St Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney St Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.

A bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

:lol: pmsl

0

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Why was his other topic locked

Was better then this one

Lol at being the only negro in the pffice... You must be a wog meat beacon

1

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Why was his other topic locked

Was better then this one

Lol at being the only negro in the pffice... You must be a wog meat beacon

Not many of us in my section. Yh I harrass sum of the white chicks at work n they lap it up. Staff nights always end mad!

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i was creasing for most of that,

well done.... good narrative.

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-3

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1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how 1 xmas i logged into vip2 and started writing about how...

do u feel better 4 that? or do u feel a kunt for no1 findind yr sh*t funny?

gimp.

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cnt believe i read all tht and it didnt end with

'so three of us woke up in etap at 10 am. late for work....'

nah G would of been sum porno flex but woulda ened up bad 4 a nigga. Mans got bills n sh*t!

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real niggas got real bills out here! Nah truss nx time it's on top then at least 1 of them getting d*cked down, dashed down n then dashed out.

-2

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real nigga so i ordered jd n coke n a straight henny lol pos

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LOL @ talking about 'next time'. That aint how you lock it in.

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LOL @ talking about 'next time'. That aint how you lock it in.

u got no stories or u been on VIP all xmas? fuk this locking in catshit real niggaz kick down the door.

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Why was his other topic locked

Was better then this one

Lol at being the only negro in the pffice... You must be a wog meat beacon

Lol naaaaaah

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Failed christmas on the present front with my family.

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LOL @ talking about 'next time'. That aint how you lock it in.

u got no stories or u been on VIP all xmas? fuk this locking in catshit real niggaz kick down the door.

U didn't smash your work colleagues doors in tho did you.

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LOL @ talking about 'next time'. That aint how you lock it in.

u got no stories or u been on VIP all xmas? fuk this locking in catshit real niggaz kick down the door.

U didn't smash your work colleagues doors in tho did you.

looool! i'll gi u that 1 but it was on the plate. man coulda skipped main course and gone straight 2 the desert.

-1

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