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LuLu

When absent fathers reappear in your life

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ive made the decision to let my estranged father be a part of my life, cut a long story short, i heard through the grapevine he had been tryin to find me, met up with him, listened to what he had to say, was deep, but least he admitted his errors , he was a sh*t father etc, the guy was emotional, hes not the type of guy to cry but he actually shed tears as i told him that he messed up my life at one point, went off the rails as i was so angry and crazy he had just abandaned me.anyways he is a changed man, well he seems to be, but i am weary he will mess up again and he knows this but has promised this time its different. its gone from no contact to constant contact but he needs to understand ive got to this point of my life without him so its just kinda overwhelming atm, he needs to back off a little and let me breathe, i know he is tryin to be a ' good father ' now but he has to understand its gonna take time before its all rosey, its gonna take time to build a father-daughter bond as right now we are just tryna get to know each other.i hope ive made the right decision, and i hope he means what he says but only time will tell.fao you lot with absent fathers, would you let your father into your life after so long of him not existing in it ?

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I was in this exact same situation when I just turnt 16 at first I was like f*ck him i dont wanna meet him ive done fine without him for 16 years im pretty much fully grown i dont need him etc but my Uncle talked to me and reasoned with me saying that he himself had daughters who had been taken away from him and live in america who he don't get to see and it hurts him to this day, you can meet him once if you dont like him tell him you dont wanna see him again. Turns out I had a sh*t load of family who lived in edmonton and tottenham who also wanted to meet me 2 sisters too (i was a only child b4) this persuaded me mainly cause they aint done sh*t to me.So i met him he also cried and sh*t had a heart to heart and decided we would take sh*t slow. Met my other side of the family and i love them all now especially my little sister it was hard and i still feel like im not fully one of them when im around them but I proper like some of my other half of the family. We have kinda bonded now its been 2 years after all but I still don't ever call him Dad he gets called by his first name its f*ck*ng weird using the word dad and its awkward when im around that side of the family and i call him by his first name and they try and correct me. I've been on holiday with him twice spent quite a bit of time with him and i think i made the right decision letting him into my life.But a few months back i was at uni and i got a call saying that it turns out i have another little sister whos 3 years old who my dad had lied about to the whole family so i stopped talking to him for 3-4 months i told him when i first met him that if he ever lies to me again he can get cut out my life i know where my lil sis/other side of the fam live now I can still be around them. so i stopped talking to him until my little sister begged me to see him before christmas and we squashed it.but yeahtl;dr for me it was the right decision to let him into my life, meeting my new fam and all that was nice but im younger than you lulu im only 18 and at that age it was hard to bond even though it was father and son so we could do man sh*t

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My dad contacted me for the First time when I was 17. Tried to get to know him but it was just too strange so I told him I want nothing to do with him. f*ck*ng weird because I am the same as him in a lot of ways. I have a younger half brother that I have met once, doubt I will see him again as well.

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tbh when i found out he had been tryna find me, i felt physically sick, ii was in angry in one sense as i had accepted the fact a long time ago he didnt exist to me so it was just a reminder of him.the guy has a good job, good lifestyle, growin up i could never understand why he abandaned his children and now as an adult i still don't know, he doesn't even seem to know himself. i did ask him but i didnt really get an answer that made much sense.

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Can't really imagine how you must feel as the only time my father has been absent has been when he was doing overtime at work to get me my first playstation when I was 10.Good luck though
C/S something like this
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Can't really imagine how you must feel as the only time my father has been absent has been when he was doing overtime at work to get me my first playstation when I was 10.Good luck though
C/S something like this
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im sad for u guys, but i understand ur [narstie]PAIN[/narstie]
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ps i dont think u can be in mine and radios clique if uve ever had any contact with ur dad.we are living tht real life pain right there.soz nathan no room for half hearts.
not even taking the piss i feel bad for you bros
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the whole situation is weird, still think now, sh*t have i done the right thing.the thing my father needs to understand is that just cos he got money in the bank, it aint gonna make him father of the year, ive got my own money, ye ok its nice he lookin out if im financially ok but still i don't want his money. he mentioned me moving from the area where i live now, why though ? il move again when im ready to, ye okay its not mayfair where i live buts its not baghdad either. could of easily gone down that route of rinsin materlism out of him then disownin him as some kind of revenge motive but it would of not achieved anything positive,dont know why he is schocked i am so independant though.have noticed he asks about my mother a lot though, he admitted to me he will always love her ( he is remarried ), was tempted to do the whole parent trap thing and reunite them but nah il see how he does being a father first .

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[tupac]he passed away and I didn't cry, cause my anger wouldn't let me feel for a stranger[/tupac]no pain, also for effect

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@lulu hw old was u when ur dad kicked

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^ ive met him a few times in my life but it was failed attempts at tryna establish a relationship.( he didnt wana know basically) i dont know him on a level as a person, just as the guy who injected my mother wtth sperm to create medude above, he left when i was three

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My father's trying to be a part of my life but I'm not interested. He made no effort to get in touch with me during the most important/crucial years of my life (my teens) but waited till I was 21 to surface and when he did, he wouldn't even acknowledge his wrong doings and instead tried to guilt trip me into talking to him. It's weird, he got all his cousins, siblings, nephews and nieces to add me/message me on facebook to convince me to talk to him.I found out recently that I've got 2 brother's and as much as I would love to get to know them, he's a twisted guy and he would use them to get to me.

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injected my mother wtth sperm to create me
oh Lulu eeew
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maybe you will meet them in a club and free up the p*ssy then you're in a whole heap of messstop being stubborn and meet your family jus llow your dad?

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dunno hw any father can abandon his children

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I know what they look like and one's around 13, the other's 9 or something.

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ps i dont think u can be in mine and radios clique if uve ever had any contact with ur dad.we are living tht real life pain right there.soz nathan no room for half hearts.
ps there no ACTUAL pain i jus said tht for dramatic effect
i see u
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My father's trying to be a part of my life but I'm not interested. He made no effort to get in touch with me during the most important/crucial years of my life (my teens) but waited till I was 21 to surface and when he did, he wouldn't even acknowledge his wrong doings and instead tried to guilt trip me into talking to him. It's weird, he got all his cousins, siblings, nephews and nieces to add me/message me on facebook to convince me to talk to him.I found out recently that I've got 2 brother's and as much as I would love to get to know them, he's a twisted guy and he would use them to get to me.
my girls been through this situation. Shes an only child and says it was boring growing up as one but she has bare half bros and sisters but refuses to have any meaningful relationship with them cos of their connection to her dad. I dont understand it personally, i think she (and you) should do your best to build a relationship cos end of the day nothing beats family. Theres no-one in this world who has your back like people with the same blood as you.
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