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JOHN DOE

www.chavtowns.co.uk

39 posts in this topic

CROYDON

Ahh, Croydon – king of of all chav towns, famous for finishing in the Top 10 of the Crap Towns and being the only town to feel “robbed” by their finish… A place famous throughout the UK for being a scum hole and got beaten by somewhere like Telford in it’s bid to become a shitty, erm.. sorry a city.. Chavs come from far and wide to worship at the pikey temple that is the Whitgift Shopping Centre, a place that has more McDonalds, KFC’s and Burger Kings than any other place on the planet – many a chav family can be seen having their Sunday lunch in one of these fine eateries. A massive TKMax is handily situated close to these food outlets so one can combine the eating and fake burberry shopping without walking too far and therefore reducing the chances of being spotted by the DSS and getting their fraudulent disability claims pulled. Lots of sport shops for the classic nike trackie bottoms and reebok classics combo, and many “up-market” clothes shops such as Budwals where you can buy Hackett, Nicholson and Lacoste gear at “wicked” prices.

However, night-time is when Croydon really comes into it’s own. The younger chavs are usually on their way home due to their curfew/electronic tags/time to feed the baby and this is when the older chavs (i.e: 15-20 yr olds) decide to descend on the Croydon “strip”. Yes, like Veronica’s in Tenerife, Croydon has a long road full of classy establishments such as the Goose on the Market (which not only has chavs flocking there in number for the cheap drinks but also has the scum bags from Surrey Street Market lowering the tone) and McKluskeys, a place so chavvie that a bouncer was recently gunned down in a “drive-by”. Reports that the shooter was in a souped-up Fiesta are unconfirmed…. You do have the more up-market bars such as Yates, Edwards and Tiger Tiger but these are inaccessible for most chavs due to their over 21’s/only older scumbags policy. Last but not least there is the infamous Blue Orchid nightclub which has people from as far and wide as Bromley, Streatham, Sutton & Essex (!) queuing up to get in and rophy’ed up.

Throw in the “Rude Boy/Gangsta” element that also plagues this delightful place and you really do have the Chav Town! Luckily, I managed to escape 2 years ago but I still travel back every so often just to get a bit of “reality”. If anyone wants to see chavs in their natural environment and run the risk of getting mugged, stabbed, raped, glassed, shot or just plain “dissed” then come down to Croydon, it’s even got Chav trams which are free to chavs until they get caught by the ‘gadgets’ (inspectors)! Enjoy! For more proof check out a fellow Croydonians website: http://members.aol.com/slunksoma/front.htm

MANOR PARK (FUCKING JOKES THIS IS,ANYONE WHOS BEEN TO MANOR PARK WILL KNOW EVERYTHING IS TRUE)

Manor Park, London E7 – E12.

Posted on April 17, 2011 by Barry Champlain

Entirely blocked from spreading to the North by the unassailable respectability of Wanstead, and prevented from expansion to the East, by half-decent Ilford and to the West by up-coming Stratford, lies the stagnant pool of liquified shit that is Manor Park.

Manor Park. A shithole that is so wretched, it even makes Forest Gate seem charming.

A complete eyesore, Manor Park is nothing but a living dumping ground.

Romford Road scythes through it on the way out of London and represents the only element on any value in the landscape as it’s some kind of road out of there – which is all it’s used for, apart from being a speed-record proving ground for every Asian boy-racer.

For everyone else, it must be torture to have the landscape dominated by that trunk road as “Out” is the last place any of them are going in a hurry.

The place abounds with shambling losers, wastes, the aged and the dumb – and broken-english speaking refugees and dodgers of every race, colour and creed. A hovel and a ghetto at the same time. Failure hangs over the place so heavily you can taste it. Everyone else tastes it too, judging by the big gobbets of phlegm you can see gobbed out on the pavement every ten paces – the different colours inside of it are something to look, I suppose: street art.

Pound shops and take-aways are what there are plenty of – they almost outnumber the benefit-scroungers that populated the dump.

The Lumiere Building residential conversion made a proud and bold attempt to make itself an outpost of aesthetic modernism in advance of the regeneration of Stratford 2 miles up the road. It was a breathless attempt to attract some people with some kind of profession and regular wage into the area. It was always doomed – it’s all just a bit too far from the action. When anyone with an upbringing of any value, or the slightest splinter of intelligence got sick of living in an ivory tower that happened to be in the middle of a sewer – and when even off-street gated parking and the fact they bought cheap weren’t enough to take the feeling of sinking into a bath of shit out of coming home – Owners sold up quick smart, the Council bought – and so the Wastes, Chavs and Tenants moved in to stink up the place with their foul breath and worse habits. Now there are washing lines strung behind it’s panoramic windows, condoms litter the stairwells and piss-stained mattresses block the refuse area.

The Tesco-metro next door is like Precinct 13. God bless Tesco. Just go to Manor Park and imagine that store not being there – you’re left with a bleak stinking waste with the musty and shabby and useless Army & Navy Stores straddling the junction up the road, selling tat to the poor, fishermen and door-staff…

Manor Park – the most complete and irredeemable shithole in London.

-3

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Guy's chatting shit tbh brah, come off that site

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literally the first thing i did was reactivate facebook and look for man like Barry.

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Not gonna comment on Croydon, but Manor park is a shithole, description is on point.

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Is Croydon really that bad?

its south

of course it is

-3

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read some of the london ones.....quite clearly written by victims and trolls.....some of them are jokes though

Enfield

To be honest I really don’t know where to start. This borough is full of absolute idiots; i grew up a road off edmonton and from the age of around 16/17 realised it would always be an uphill struggle to reside here. Edmonton is essentially the ‘urban’ part of the borough,what ever that means. It consists of an upper and a lower section. The vast majority of people I know from here believe the world owes them something. These characters enjoying stabbing/shooting/burning each other and their idea of a conversation is merely making self absorbed statements about how they indeed live a gangster streetlife like Pablo Escobar. Alternatively some of the residents have twee evocations about olde london where ‘people were decent’ and these lot, at bottom, support the bnp. The ‘gangsters’ in many cases buy exceptional cars on hire purchase but reduce them to trash by modifications, usually the result is more trashy than cars on that absurd programme ‘pimp my ride.’ Edmonton/tottenham is the place where you are most likely to end up in a body bag in london. I stand by this statement, I have friends in South London and Brent and none of these areas feel as dangerous as edmonton/Tottenham. Tottenham will be dealt with subsequently when I write about Haringey.

Enfield town is more of your run of the mill ‘eastenders’ style chav paradise, like a mini romford… At times the edmonton ‘gangsters’ end up there but in more cases than others its strictly inhabited by single mums and 14 year old kids with excessive spiky hair and four earings, at times rhyming cockney slang is used and people there only like only r & b music. You know what it isnt even just the way these people look that bothers me, I have shaved hair and wear clothes that aren’t exactly aristocratic; its more the pointless reaffirmation of how you should live a pointless life with no ambition. A perfect example can be drawn from a nightclub called eros.Which is now closed. Enfield town is the most annoying place on the planet and should be evacuated and then carpet bombed.

Southgate is if anything for some strange reason treated like a St tropez almost marbella part of the borough; arseholes in new bmws with black tinted windows who congregate at the bp petrol station near asda and consistently act like d*cks. These people have exceptionally wealthy parents but insist on wasting their priviledges on 30,000 pound cars and have friends from Edmonton.

Winchmore Hill is simply a no mans land of boredom. Many of the people from the aforementioned areas use this as a place to ‘link’ [aka meet eachother in a social context] It masqurades as middle class but there are some A1 scumbags living here – dodgy characters….

Oakwood, again, is essentially an underground station with a few shops/restaurants. Its quite middle class, from my experience people from here are the same stock as those from southgate. Further on from Oakwood is Cockfosters which is actually ok. I wouldn’t mind living here as its more out of the way, if you like.

Ponders End, Enfield wash are as bad as edmonton and geographically connected to it. The sorts of people that dwell here and in brimsdown are killers in the making. Unreasonable, aggresive 28 year old kids. I’d say there is a strong case that these people may even have guns or other sorts of calvary/perhaps a light infantry that could be used in a warlike campaign.

All in all its a terrible borough, the irony of it all is that it seems to be the british mentality to behave like this. When I return I will be discussing the borough of Haringey.

And one day I will be living abroad away from all this.

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c*nt site, wont even read

hate this stupid word

chav

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Is Croydon really that bad?

its south

of course it is

TBH, that was a question for the locals bruddah.

Never disrespect ever again bro.

^_^

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c*nt site, wont even read

hate this stupid word

chav

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So what if there's around 24 eastern europeans that sit on a line on the main road, passing down a bottle of napoleon brandy and a can of coke, each man taking a licke sip of each. EVERYDAY.

So what if on the way home you have to jump over a toilet seat someone's just lumped on the middle of the pavement...

..walk past someone's entire shoe collection they decided to just literally throw out their bedroom window..

...block your nose as you walk past a bunch of dirty nappies some child's left after her child had to go...

So what if after every 10 steps you take, someone asks you if you want food...

so what if the 5 wings you got for a pound, don't even look or taste like chicken

MANOR PARK ALL DAY.

Disclaimer:- Manor park is a shit hole but by far not the biggest shit hole in the area. Big up maryland, forest gate, east ham, barking and maybe ilford.

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rah didnt know pple would actually be offended from here.

im from newham - place is a shithole but is getting better here and there.

fuck knows i aint staying here for much longer

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not gunna lie im gettin mad right now

Where's carlos?!

lolollol

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You found that funny John?

What part of Newham you from?

Blatantly going to say Beckton aren't you..

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croydon chavs?

maybe south croydon/addington yer

croydon is big place, im quite offended

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Althought factual in most parts, it reads like the author is upset. Probably got moved to outside A1 Kebabish or something.

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Carlos I would not pay mind to the cretin who wrote this obvious victim I feel same way when they gas about hackney

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i don't get that though

how can manor park be a shit hole and it be something worth saying

when

1) all the places i mentioned above are way worse

2) manor park is smaller than all of them.

Most of Newham is deprived and a fucking shit hole.

Dagenham and Redbridge is much the same as is many parts of Havering.

Most of east London is a shit hole mate.

What can you do.

I just don't get why single out a little place amongst it all. Manor Park is tiny man.

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i cant lie east london does looked fucked tbh

every area looks like tooting

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LOL Nah East does look bummy tho.

Like they forgot to clean up after The Blitz.

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