imhim

THIS...

21 posts in this topic

I had three amazing dates with this guy and he claimed he really liked me. We were intimate after the third date but I pulled the brakes the next day. Since then he was hot and cold, then he said he wasn't ready for a relationship. Instead he proposed a casual relationship without major expectations in the short term. But if I didn't want to, then fine. He added that should things get very intimate, it wouldn't be casual for him any more and we would be exclusive. Can I trust this guy?

Ice Fairy

Christine says:

To be fair to this poor confused creature, you've been a bit hot and cold too. You should have been clear from the start about how intimate you wanted to get with him. Once you've given out the good stuff, it's difficult to then take it back and pretend it didn't happen without someone getting offended. I'm confused about what you want from him. Do you want him to be your friend or do you want to date him?

It sounds like you've hurt his feelings and he doesn't know where he stands so he's started going: 'Yeah, well I don't care. I didn't want to be in a relationship anyway because I, like, totally don't even care'. You backed off first and now you're surprised that he's doing the same. Decide what you want from him and spell it out. It's your best bet. Maybe he's worried he'll get hurt by you and your indecisive faffing so has put some distance between you; or, he can't even contemplate going without sex for more than half an hour and so you're not as much use to him anymore.

Either way a 'casual relationship' without any level of intimacy is pretty much what I have with my postman and the woman who works in the newsagent. So if that's what you want it is very easy to maintain. I almost never have to call them, unless I need to go and pick up a package from the sorting office or I need to know if Total Carp magazine has arrived.

[See also: Should you date more than one person at a time?]

Kevin says:

I shall paraphrase the story you've just told...

You meet a guy and sleep with him, then you stop sleeping with him and he instantly loses interest, before giving you the ultimatum: casual sex or nothing. Can you trust him?

And in a way, the answer is yes — you can trust the fact that he is mainly interested in sex. Anything more serious doesn't seem to be floating his boat.

This is possibly a reaction to you having sex with him after three dates and then backtracking. That kind of u-turn can make a man all confused and frustrated — it's like giving a bear a bowl of sardines and then hiding them as soon as its back is turned. The bear would scratch its head thinking: where on earth are my bloody sardines? Then it will start punching stuff with its paws.

So now this man is similarly grumpy and you're in a bit of a catch 22. If he really likes you, he should be willing to have a 'casual' relationship that doesn't involve sex. But at the same time, you can hardly blame him for not really liking you because after all, you only went on three and a bit dates. He may need more time before he considers you relationship material.

So your options are stark: either start sleeping with him again and hope it develops into something serious, or say goodbye. And if you take the first option, bear in mind that many, many women have tried that method and failed miserably — especially if the man has already taken the view that there are plenty more sardines in the sea.

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my man wanted a sex ting...

she put it on him...

he got shook...

was like naa f*ck dat, im gone... sex or nuttin...

im currently in dat situation now... i jus wanna bang dis white ting, but she wants more

cba

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are u thick. he beat it.

bare of u lot are actually losers 'i just wanna'

f*ck*ng hell your a sap

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u didnt understand...

he wants to CONTINUE beating it... without having that RELATIONSHIP attached to it...

she DOESNT WANT "NO STRINGS ATTACHED"

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shes white just bass di nutz and block her numbargh from calling

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shes white just bass di nutz and block her numbargh from calling

lol... wen ur strap for di links, its hard.. then u have to ask TF wat gwan

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she DOESNT WANT

like i said are you thick?

if you dont know how to come correct on chicks like this what do you want, do you want me to be your 'wing' and teach you how to manipulate and lie to chicks? I am willing but will cost you atleast £100ph for this teaching :S

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also at phonecharger do you work for Investec or are u a surfer f*ckin pm me if ur serious

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also at phonecharger do you work for Investec or are u a surfer f*ckin pm me if ur serious

cancel thy inbax

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did man really use an agony aunt letter to make a thread on here? cbl

but in answer to Your questions, here's some options, ranked highest to lowest

1 - FIND A GIRL WHO WANTS WHAT YOU WANT. there's enough of these slores out there, no need to pretend, mislead or any of that bullshit timewasting

2 - link the girl and beat, stating nothing about Your intentions and brushing the conversations about relationships under the carpet, feedin her bullshit such as "i don't know what I want yet"

3 - pretend. give the impression You want more, but still using minimal effort. so You still wouldn't be taking her out.

4 - see if this girl can be of more use to You. she MIGHT actually have wifeyable qualities, try taking her seriously and see what it gets You

5 - fake a relationship with the girl in order to beat. if You do this You have zero game, whatsoever, but it will get You the beat.

6 - be honest, tell the girl what You want and see what she says. lowest ranked due to high failure rate, although technically the "right" thing to do.

will also add, if the beat is good, it will be less of a problem as girl will want it again.

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did man really use an agony aunt letter to make a thread on here? cbl

:lol:

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wen girls lock me off i dont go back

(even tho i want to)

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did man really use an agony aunt letter to make a thread on here? cbl

but in answer to Your questions, here's some options, ranked highest to lowest

1 - FIND A GIRL WHO WANTS WHAT YOU WANT. there's enough of these slores out there, no need to pretend, mislead or any of that bullshit timewasting

2 - link the girl and beat, stating nothing about Your intentions and brushing the conversations about relationships under the carpet, feedin her bullshit such as "i don't know what I want yet"

3 - pretend. give the impression You want more, but still using minimal effort. so You still wouldn't be taking her out.

4 - see if this girl can be of more use to You. she MIGHT actually have wifeyable qualities, try taking her seriously and see what it gets You

5 - fake a relationship with the girl in order to beat. if You do this You have zero game, whatsoever, but it will get You the beat.

6 - be honest, tell the girl what You want and see what she says. lowest ranked due to high failure rate, although technically the "right" thing to do.

will also add, if the beat is good, it will be less of a problem as girl will want it again.

LOL POS

Lens >>>>>>>>>>>

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