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Coming to terms.....

167 posts in this topic

I hardly come in this room but with a recent situation, I wanted to post this topic to see the views of other users on here or whether I'm just overreacting...........

I was with this chick for about 9-10 months, she was 20 and I was 22 back then when we first met (start of 2010). Relationship was bless, we was mad close and feelings eventually got proper strong for each other. To be honest, we sincerely thought we was the one for each other and had found our match even though it had only been a few months.

Prior to our relationship and before I met her, she had never been in a serious relationship before in her life and had never met anyone as serious as I was. She was also basically still a virgin. Her reason being because she was really focusing on her religion and the whole 'no sex before marriage' thing. Ok kool.

So during the relationship obviously a lot of intimacy would come into it and we did find ourselves in scenarios where sex came up on the cards. Temptations towards me on her behalf grew stronger and stronger so eventually she couldn't help herself and decided to go the one step further. By one step further I mean, she was willing to let me put my piece inside her but as soon as I would put my piece at least halfway in, she moaned that it would hurt etc and her guilty conscience would kick in again and say that she feels really bad going against bible principles at that moment. Fair enough, I respected her decision that she wanted to be as spiritual as she could be and thought to myself in due time, when she's ready she'll be ready.

This was basically the scenario EVERYTIME it got heated intimately between us two. Everything would run apart from a 'home run' with her. As a guy, clearly this got me pissed and frustrated but I didn't want show that side of me too tough to her, otherwise she would think I wasn't being considerate of her spirituality and would instantly think I was cheating.

Anyways, fast forward towards the end of the relationship. Not gonna get into details how we broke up but we broke up on bad terms. Argued bare with each other, said some horrible things etc. We was basically mad pissed off with one another.

I went inside for a few months (going towards the end of 2010) after we broke up, and I called her a few times from jail the first few weeks to make sure she was cool but could you believe that even from inside, me and her were still arguing during the calls I could make. KMT! Eventually when I came out things calmed down but we was still on bad terms so we didnt speak to each other for near enough the whole of 2011.

I never called her once for the whole of 2011, but she called me about 4-5 times which we spoke briefly but nuttin happened. Other times when she would call throughout the year I would air her calls out. Just didnt wanna speak to her.

Fast forward to January 2012 now, she starts callin me again. Suggesting we meet up, go somewhere together and that she wishes we can still be kool with each other. Basically wants me to still be proper a part of her life. She still turns to me for advice, help, favours etc. She still looks at me to help her out in anything she needs and wants me to still look out for her.

So from January 2012 up till recently, we've spoken a number of times, she added me on BB and I've seen her on couple occasions outside. Just last week we sat down and proper evaluated what went wrong towards the end of the relationship and why we argued bare. That was discussed, kool. We then decided to go into honesty hour and be truthful with each other's love life since we've broken up. She asked me if I was seeing anyone and how many girls I've sexed since we broke up, I told her the figures but I'm not currently seeing anyone in specific. I then asked her too if she was seeing anyone etc. She said she's not seeing anyone too but there has been one or two guys that she liked and had gotten close with during the time we had broken up and not speaking to each other but nutting progressed with them. I thought fair enough.

I then thought to myself let me go in straight and asked if she's had sex with anyone since we broke up. So I asked her, and her first reaction was 'No, No I havent.' I gave her a plainface and I told her to be rock bottom truthful with me and that there was no need to lie. So I asked her again, she paused for about 2 secs and then admitted that she's had sex with one guy last year. I thought to myself 'ok, what about your religion.' I said to her proper sex yh, she then came out and said yes, she went all the way with that guy.

I felt disappointed and a bitter feeling in my heart. I was hurt, cant lie. I asked her 'so what happened to your so called bible principles?' She started chattin rubbish saying that at the time of our break up she felt mad down, angry at the fact that we broke up on bad terms, upset that we wasn't speaking, temporarily lost it spiritually and apparently this guy was around to comfort her. Lastly also, she felt she was too young back when we was together, KMT!!!

She tried justifying herself that till this day she wishes she could've gone all out sexually with me and had not we broken up, she thinks she would've by now. The whole time I was silent, didn't know what to say. I was hoping for her to come out and say 'I'm joking, I only said it to see what you would say' but deep down I knew she was being honest. I felt both disappointed and disrespected at the same time.

I've spoken with one of my close boys about this, and he agrees that it is hurtful to hear that but at the same time I cant really blame her. We was basically non-existent to each other for the whole of 2011 and its natural that she would like a guy in that time.

Fair enough, that's understandable. But what is annoying is the nature that she did it under, especially the way she wanted to hold out during our relationship. Now she's gone and given herself to a guy that she don't even like now or talk to as much anymore.

Before finding this out, I was seeing maybe sometime we could get back together. At this point, I don't even want nothing to do with her anymore. She messaged me on BB the day after asking if I hated her, I told her 'Nah. I'm kool. I've slept on it.' She replied 'so are you gonna go link a chick tonight then?' I just read it and ended the chat.

My other niggers were even surprised lately that I was even entertaining conversing with her in the first place, considering the amount of links I've had the last few months. But to be honest, the care I had for her was a lot so no matter how many links I had I was still gonna be there for her. Now at this point I don't even have the same interest in her anymore.

So yeh guys, that's the scenario there. Sorry for such a long post.

What are your views on it?

Am I right to give up on her or should I still stick around for her and give her the benefit of the doubt from the reasons that she explained?

-3

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Definitely cut ties with her. She's longed you out before and if you show that your willing to accept that shit by getting back with her, she'll 100% fuck you around in the future again. Yeah she might let you hit it, but p*ssy is not worth pride.

I think you should just take the loss that she disrespected you, longed u off, etc. and just keep it moving like a man.

She sounds like headache and a undercover bosh tbh. She let a random brudda smash, but left u waiting. Pisstake. Personally I wouldn't even entertain her by having convos.

/

Bitches be shiesty yo.

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Uncle Man, your a d*ckhead. If you got any name callings to say towards me, address me via PM. Not in my thread!

I made this topic to get other people's view on the situation. No need for a 'your a wasteman' talk.

I hear that Seymour Cake, real talk.

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Uncle Man, your a d*ckhead. If you got any name callings to say towards me, address me via PM. Not in my thread!

:lol:

!

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shes a bosh

your a wasteman

learn from your error

keep it moving

I lol'd.

/

On topic, let it go brother. Either try and get back with her and ignore what happened when you were inside or just keep it moving.

In all honesty, she's done nothing wrong by having sexual relations with a man while you were inside/out of her life.

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She was never what you thought she was to be honest. Don't really get how you can be on your religion like that and at the same time allow yourself into a situation where you're alone with a guy. I highly doubt it was only the one. Dunno why you'd entertain her.

Soon as it weren't you, she allowed herself to be alone with another guy. Basically manipulated you emotionally, got everything she'd want from a relationship without having to give up the p*ssy. She is a hypocrite. She forced you to abide by her standards and then didn't abide herself.

Maybe that's where you f*cked up. She gave the terms and conditions and you signed without really reading.

/

She gets gratification from being in contact with you. Absolutely no empathy on her side. Asking manipulative questions like 'do you hate me?'. Knowing that your response would most definitely be something that reassures her while putting you in an awkward position of having to answer while sh*t's still raw.

Girls like this deserve no time/effort/explanation. Disappear from her life.

4

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gave u my opinion and summarized the situation

the truth hurts but hope u will thank me in the future

yr situation is tragic there you were with yr d*ck in this hoe yr supposed to follow through, instead a random homeless guy did

shame this girl wont have sex for love only for jealousy and hatred

but thats bitches for ya, you either study my posts or learn the hard way

still entertaining her with yr puppy dog heart

next time yr halfway inside a bitch just ram it home, shes probly done that with at least 10 guys before you anyway

stop pedal stooling these hoes and i wont have to call you a wasteman my brother

all the best with yr future decisions

^^^You could've easily said this the first time, minus the 'wasteman' talk because I can assure you there definitely is no wasteman stature coming from my life, so allow that.

But appreciated to your post anyway, I see the points that you summarised there.

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looool basically the guy done the old slot machine in the pub move

waited for u to play the game and watched when the machine paid out and stepped in at the right time.

5

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You have to let her go tbh. If you get back together you'll have some good times but no matter what, it'll always be on the back of your mind.

The f*cked up thing is that, i know for a fact she probably wasn't as close as the guy she had sex with than when she was with you, but that guy got what he want out of her and she just accepted it. Who knows how many times they did and what they did?!

If you can get past the fact she did things with the guy she refused to do with you (At that time) and can move on then it's solely down to you. It'll still probably lead down to arguments down the line of the relationship if you do get back together though

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She was never what you thought she was to be honest. Don't really get how you can be on your religion like that and at the same time allow yourself into a situation where you're alone with a guy. I highly doubt it was only the one. Dunno why you'd entertain her.

Soon as it weren't you, she allowed herself to be alone with another guy. Basically manipulated you emotionally, got everything she'd want from a relationship without having to give up the p*ssy. She is a hypocrite. She forced you to abide by her standards and then didn't abide herself.

Maybe that's where you f*cked up. She gave the terms and conditions and you signed without really reading.

/

She gets gratification from being in contact with you. Absolutely no empathy on her side. Asking manipulative questions like 'do you hate me?'. Knowing that your response would most definitely be something that reassures her while putting you in an awkward position of having to answer while sh*t's still raw.

Girls like this deserve no time/effort/explanation. Disappear from her life.

Ratings for this post. I appreciate your view there.

@LS, me getting back with her definitely ain't on the cards. To be honest, this situation was basically the last straw. After I heard this, I've basically dropped it all off for her. As you said, it would be at the back of my mind. Its not worth going though it everyday if I was to get back with her. It really isn't!

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Ask her to suck your c*ck

then till her to duck

But seriously lock that

But 1st cuss her till she cries

You need 2 get in her head about how you gonna let a random mickey fuck her but not you who you was in a relationship with

Fuckin hate bitches like that

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I can believe she was distraught when it ended if everything you said was true and she wasn't an undercover hoe. But if you get back with her neither of you will ever forget about it, even if you eventually forgive her. Especially as she first tried to lie about it, shows me it wasn't as big a deal to her as you seem to think.

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I can believe she was distraught when it ended if everything you said was true and she wasn't an undercover hoe. But if you get back with her neither of you will ever forget about it, even if you eventually forgive her. Especially as she first tried to lie about it, shows me it wasn't as big a deal to her as you seem to think.

She lied about it for about a minute, so it seems. It's not like she perpetuated it for weeks on end.

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this aint that big a deal

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I highly doubt it was only the one.

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gave u my opinion and summarized the situation

the truth hurts but hope u will thank me in the future

yr situation is tragic there you were with yr d*ck in this hoe yr supposed to follow through, instead a random homeless guy did

shame this girl wont have sex for love only for jealousy and hatred

but thats bitches for ya, you either study my posts or learn the hard way

still entertaining her with yr puppy dog heart

next time yr halfway inside a bitch just ram it home, shes probly done that with at least 10 guys before you anyway

stop pedal stooling these hoes and i wont have to call you a wasteman my brother

all the best with yr future decisions

ameen

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I can believe she was distraught when it ended if everything you said was true and she wasn't an undercover hoe. But if you get back with her neither of you will ever forget about it, even if you eventually forgive her. Especially as she first tried to lie about it, shows me it wasn't as big a deal to her as you seem to think.

She lied about it for about a minute, so it seems. It's not like she perpetuated it for weeks on end.

But how long would the lie have lasted if he hadn't pushed it?

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shes a bosh

your a wasteman

learn from your error

keep it moving

i thought fuck dat I'm reading but i shall after this reply

im a sick twisted fucker i love seeing niggas get fucked over

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This bitch bumped you and waved the steak in front of you during a period of hunger

So for this reason you should not even entertain her boshness. Bruv these type of girls are the worst trying to use GOD to not go the full length and then bining the same principles when time suits her

I had one muslim girl tryna pull the same thing saying she slept with 2 guys but she was changed and I put my d*ck inside her and she said she can't follow through with it

She got deleted and removed since then she's been letting the homies smash

I see this as close call and I have gone on to fuck her best friend

]

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Some anti-climax topic.If you have feelings for her forgive and forget and take it further and if not keep it moving playa.

-3

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keep it moving playa.

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