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Toney Barton

Family Rivalry

18 posts in this topic

Do any of you have experience of this?

My mum and her sister it seems are always trying to outdo each other with regards to their kids.

I'll be honest it isn't so much my mum but my auntie is a complete pain in the ass.

Me and my cousin are born a month apart and we went to the same school, she wasn't in my league intellectually, I was in all top sets, she was in most of the lower sets but my auntie still used to try and compare us for some stupid reason or try and get 1 over whenever there was a chance.

She seemed to do the same to my 2 younger sisters, 1 did her GCSE's 4 years ago the youngest 2 years ago and they both did well but the youngest did extremely well but even then my auntie and her hating ass ex husband she has 2 further kids with tried to put a spin on it which I won't go into right now.

He shut up when he saw my sister was top 10 in the year for her results on the school website.

But the energy with them is always negative, to the point I can't stand be anywhere near them and avoid places or family shit I know they will be at.

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I used to get compared negatively to my younger sister. I'm slightly better academically but the difference between us is she listens to authority and does as she's told. I was never like that. Was forever getting told one day taking x for granted is going to catch up with you. The thing is I know when it's time to grind and when it's important I'll get locked in. Forever used to piss off teachers and my parents. My dad just let's me get on with things now because he knows I can handle it.

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family + money = f*cked

trying to out do each other in poverty

hated being compared to cousins, how the f*ck will this motivate me?

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No family rivalry issues in my family.

All achievements are just used as tools to encourage the rest of the family to do better. From as far back as I can remember, any achievement of any kind has never been used as a negative.

However, when it comes to outsiders then the gloves have always been off :lol:

When my auntie starts bragging>>>>>>>_____

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tbh, I was the golden child as much as I didn't want to be. Excelled in music, sports and academics. All the kids on my mothers side were the same, Dad's weren't soo lucky. Quite a few in pen, others with kids, some just existing nothing going on. Think alot of them disliked me for the comparisons that used to be drawn, I was the benchmark. In some ways it saddens me to think about it, means I was less close with certain cousins because of something entirely out of my own control. Don't know why families do it, but it in African households its actually intense. f*ck that, when I'm older any success in the family is my success by association, the only way family should really be.

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Back in the day when I was fat my mum would always compare to my skinny cousin

We used to call her Olive Oil from Popeye cuz she was so skinny

I was 'the monster' cuz I ate everything, its alright now as I said, we both look cool.

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I have a cousin who's two months younger than me, she's beautiful, tall with an athletic body (swimmer) and just so happens to be crazy smart.

I was always compared until they gave up and then I was just the 'fun' one.

My Mum doesn't do it but her sisters are always trying to get one up, stretching themselves to buy expensive bday/xmas gifts that their budget doesn't cater for and bragging about grades their kids got.

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My aunt. Any convo you have with her she will somehow relate it back to either her kids or her grankids. Been that way for aslong as I can remember. So my dad by default now does the same.

Long

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@ toney - that sh*t would irk me to the point where I'd have to confront her

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I have a cousin who's two months younger than me, she's beautiful, tall with an athletic body (swimmer) and just so happens to be crazy smart.

I was always compared until they gave up and then I was just the 'fun' one.

My Mum doesn't do it but her sisters are always trying to get one up, stretching themselves to buy expensive bday/xmas gifts that their budget doesn't cater for and bragging about grades their kids got.

That's it lol

I'm sure people remember that thread where I said my 2 younger cousins, 13 and 15 got brand New BB, IPad and Beats by Dre headphones.

Same parents.

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@ toney - that sh*t would irk me to the point where I'd have to confront her

I've made them look stupid or more than 1 occasion, I'm just bored now and stay out of their way.

Ironically they always ask my mum why they hardly see me lol.

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Yeah I know too many families that have fallen out over money, usually after a death.

Its f*cked up that people can do that to their own blood over some p.

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Beef runs deep on my dads side of the family

Blood has been spilled

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I hated seeing my cousins for the usual "stand back to back and see whos taller" bollocks

We're all trying to play with the megazords and being called downstairs like we are gunna be beat for that most annoying sh*t

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We also have 'who's got the best hair'

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My nana is forever comparing her grandchildren but we have clocked that she gets a kick out of winding people up.

Im the oldest on both sides near enough and am the leader of this generation so I don't have any rivalry as such, its generally accepted that im top dog and everything goes through me.

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My dad and his brother have had some different rivalry for as long as I can remember, both in the same line of business, live in same area always competing with stuff like who's yards better, whos shops busier, whos kids are better etc. Mums side always trying to get sympathy over whos worse off like its a competition. Pisses me off.

All this family rivalry is the reason why I tend to distance myself from certain cousins, aunts and uncles. Most the time you know which families are like this, theres always that one.

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