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Ex RWD user's literary debut


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I'm sure some of you will remember the user Noriek, he's just released his 1st book, it's on Amazon.

41753I41-pL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA300_SH20_OU01_.jpg

You can’t have your cake and eat it is about Michael Brown, a young Black male, fresh from university who struggles with the demons of his sexuality that still haunt him, He tries to lead a comfortable heterosexual life. He thinks he has suppressed his ‘other side’ through his failing relationship with Michelle. However this changes when Gemma walks into his life. She’s a funny, bubbly police officer, gorgeous with brunette hair and milky skin. That's the problem, especially for a man who is pro Black: Gemma is white. On top of that, Michael befriends a gay colleague at his workplace called Nathan. Nathan appears ‘legit’ but he is falling hard and fast for his fellow black counterpart. Nathan’s desires become reality, leaving Michael with more drama and headache.

Excerpt: http://thenewblackma...aspx?index=2920

I have been with Michael for 3 years now, but I don’t think he is the one for me. I would have thought that now we’re back in London, things would have changed, but they haven’t. They have got worse. We argue constantly. I’m not sure if I’m in love with him anymore. I know he is sweet and caring, but he irritates me all the fucking time. He lets others decide his fate for him. What the fuck?! He supposed to be a man, not a boy. He supposed to take charge of situations. I know he isn't earning much or any money at the moment, but it would be nice if he could pay for me at dinner instead of going halves all the time. He should be taking me out shopping. Fuck it, I got my own money. He’s in his early twenties and he doesn’t drive. That’s loose. Can’t he see I’m not happy anymore? He bought me a chain when we first started dating. I don’t wear it anymore. I wear the chain that a real man bought me. My Dad bought that chain for me. Why can’t he be like my Dad? A strong powerful Black man is what I want. I know it burns him that I don’t wear the chain that he bought me, but he needs to fix up. All he does is smoke weed, play Playstation and make tunes with Jason. That’s something a ‘wasteman’ does.

Michael is lucky to be with me and he needs to recognize that. I am good for him. Who was there when he was going through his problems at uni? Me! He’s too up and down for me. I’m sure he’s suffering from depression. He needs to stop blazing and go see a shrink. I’m not even attracted to him anymore. He looks rough all the time. Going barbers once a month. He should be going twice a month like other Black guys. I can’t take the beard and his picky hair. It doesn’t reflect his beauty. He always says he’s ugly. When I ask him why he says that, he tells me his Mum told him that. I got issues with his Mum, but truth be told that I don’t say anything to him or her about it. I’ve gone off sex with Michael too. I don’t like kissing, but he insists on doing it. I know he is a stocky guy, but he has let himself go. I’m sure he’s getting a beer belly. I don’t like when Michael rides me. He’s too big for me in his size and his d*ck. I only like doggy and when I ride him. I just prefer it when he licks me out and I wank him. I love when he licks me out.

Michael is shit with money. It really pisses me off because of that. I don’t know why I haven’t finished it with him. I think he would switch if I dumped him. I think he would be in a state, where he might even kill himself. I just think it would be callous of me to do that to him as he’s such a nice guy, but maybe it’s the best for him…

The other night when Michael was out, my friend Ola came round to see me. We have been friends for years. I know he fancies me. Any way, I told him my situation. He said “leave him and be with me”. I looked at Ola with bewilderment. I couldn’t believe what I heard. I was numb and shocked. At this point Ola put his arm around me and kissed me. Maybe it was the wine and I was feeling tipsy, but I kissed him back. Ola whispered in my ear, “I’ve been waiting for years to do that to you”. I looked back at him gleefully. I know it would burn Michael if I left him for Ola. This is because Michael always felt Ola had fancied me for time, and because Ola is African, Nigerian to be precise. “Do you still hear from that Boob- boo?” Michael would say to me. Conversely Ola, would ask me “Has that waste Jamo got a job yet?”

West Indian guys can’t stand when West Indians girls go out with African guys. African guys treat their women better, are educated and more financially stable. Most West Indians guys are ‘wastemen’. If they’re not ‘blazing’ weed, then they are ‘shotting’ it. If they haven't got a job, then they’re making beats on the Playstation and eating fried chicken from the chicken shop. At the start of this relationship, Michael didn’t fit that criteria at all, but now he was fitting it quite well. Sod it, he needs to fix up. As these thoughts crossed my mind, I felt Ola’s hand touching my wet p*ssy. Suddenly I heard the key turning in the front door…

http://www.amazon.co...35093856&sr=8-1

Amazon link if you wanna support.

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I have been with Michael for 3 years now, but I don’t think he is the one for me. I would have thought that now we’re back in London, things would have changed, but they haven’t. They have got worse. We argue constantly. I’m not sure if I’m in love with him anymore. I know he is sweet and caring, but he irritates me all the f*ck*ng time. He lets others decide his fate for him. What the f*ck?! He supposed to be a man, not a boy. He supposed to take charge of situations. I know he isn't earning much or any money at the moment, but it would be nice if he could pay for me at dinner instead of going halves all the time. He should be taking me out shopping. f*ck it, I got my own money. He’s in his early twenties and he doesn’t drive. That’s loose. Can’t he see I’m not happy anymore? He bought me a chain when we first started dating. I don’t wear it anymore. I wear the chain that a real man bought me. My Dad bought that chain for me. Why can’t he be like my Dad? A strong powerful Black man is what I want. I know it burns him that I don’t wear the chain that he bought me, but he needs to fix up. All he does is smoke weed, play Playstation and make tunes with Jason. That’s something a ‘wasteman’ does.

Michael is lucky to be with me and he needs to recognize that. I am good for him. Who was there when he was going through his problems at uni? Me! He’s too up and down for me. I’m sure he’s suffering from depression. He needs to stop blazing and go see a shrink. I’m not even attracted to him anymore. He looks rough all the time. Going barbers once a month. He should be going twice a month like other Black guys. I can’t take the beard and his picky hair. It doesn’t reflect his beauty. He always says he’s ugly. When I ask him why he says that, he tells me his Mum told him that. I got issues with his Mum, but truth be told that I don’t say anything to him or her about it. I’ve gone off sex with Michael too. I don’t like kissing, but he insists on doing it. I know he is a stocky guy, but he has let himself go. I’m sure he’s getting a beer belly. I don’t like when Michael rides me. He’s too big for me in his size and his d*ck. I only like doggy and when I ride him. I just prefer it when he licks me out and I wank him. I love when he licks me out.

Michael is sh*t with money. It really pisses me off because of that. I don’t know why I haven’t finished it with him. I think he would switch if I dumped him. I think he would be in a state, where he might even kill himself. I just think it would be callous of me to do that to him as he’s such a nice guy, but maybe it’s the best for him…

The other night when Michael was out, my friend Ola came round to see me. We have been friends for years. I know he fancies me. Any way, I told him my situation. He said “leave him and be with me”. I looked at Ola with bewilderment. I couldn’t believe what I heard. I was numb and shocked. At this point Ola put his arm around me and kissed me. Maybe it was the wine and I was feeling tipsy, but I kissed him back. Ola whispered in my ear, “I’ve been waiting for years to do that to you”. I looked back at him gleefully. I know it would burn Michael if I left him for Ola. This is because Michael always felt Ola had fancied me for time, and because Ola is African, Nigerian to be precise. “Do you still hear from that Boob- boo?” Michael would say to me. Conversely Ola, would ask me “Has that waste Jamo got a job yet?”

West Indian guys can’t stand when West Indians girls go out with African guys. African guys treat their women better, are educated and more financially stable. Most West Indians guys are ‘wastemen’. If they’re not ‘blazing’ weed, then they are ‘shotting’ it. If they haven't got a job, then they’re making beats on the Playstation and eating fried chicken from the chicken shop. At the start of this relationship, Michael didn’t fit that criteria at all, but now he was fitting it quite well. Sod it, he needs to fix up. As these thoughts crossed my mind, I felt Ola’s hand touching my wet p*ssy. Suddenly I heard the key turning in the front door…

jesus christ

how can i cringe at a book

f*cks sake....surely u can't ruin literacy, you have everythin else

leave it alone

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exceprt read quite well but these kinda books are not really my thing tbh. May support anyway though. I think you'll get more support for this kinda thing aiming it at women.

Came across like one of those uk youtube dramas but well written

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I'm sure some of you will remember the user Noriek, he's just released his 1st book, it's on Amazon.

41753I41-pL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA300_SH20_OU01_.jpg

You can’t have your cake and eat it is about Michael Brown, a young Black male, fresh from university who struggles with the demons of his sexuality that still haunt him, He tries to lead a comfortable heterosexual life. He thinks he has suppressed his ‘other side’ through his failing relationship with Michelle. However this changes when Gemma walks into his life. She’s a funny, bubbly police officer, gorgeous with brunette hair and milky skin. That's the problem, especially for a man who is pro Black: Gemma is white. On top of that, Michael befriends a gay colleague at his workplace called Nathan. Nathan appears ‘legit’ but he is falling hard and fast for his fellow black counterpart. Nathan’s desires become reality, leaving Michael with more drama and headache.

Excerpt: http://thenewblackma...aspx?index=2920

I have been with Michael for 3 years now, but I don’t think he is the one for me. I would have thought that now we’re back in London, things would have changed, but they haven’t. They have got worse. We argue constantly. I’m not sure if I’m in love with him anymore. I know he is sweet and caring, but he irritates me all the f*ck*ng time. He lets others decide his fate for him. What the f*ck?! He supposed to be a man, not a boy. He supposed to take charge of situations. I know he isn't earning much or any money at the moment, but it would be nice if he could pay for me at dinner instead of going halves all the time. He should be taking me out shopping. f*ck it, I got my own money. He’s in his early twenties and he doesn’t drive. That’s loose. Can’t he see I’m not happy anymore? He bought me a chain when we first started dating. I don’t wear it anymore. I wear the chain that a real man bought me. My Dad bought that chain for me. Why can’t he be like my Dad? A strong powerful Black man is what I want. I know it burns him that I don’t wear the chain that he bought me, but he needs to fix up. All he does is smoke weed, play Playstation and make tunes with Jason. That’s something a ‘wasteman’ does.

Michael is lucky to be with me and he needs to recognize that. I am good for him. Who was there when he was going through his problems at uni? Me! He’s too up and down for me. I’m sure he’s suffering from depression. He needs to stop blazing and go see a shrink. I’m not even attracted to him anymore. He looks rough all the time. Going barbers once a month. He should be going twice a month like other Black guys. I can’t take the beard and his picky hair. It doesn’t reflect his beauty. He always says he’s ugly. When I ask him why he says that, he tells me his Mum told him that. I got issues with his Mum, but truth be told that I don’t say anything to him or her about it. I’ve gone off sex with Michael too. I don’t like kissing, but he insists on doing it. I know he is a stocky guy, but he has let himself go. I’m sure he’s getting a beer belly. I don’t like when Michael rides me. He’s too big for me in his size and his d*ck. I only like doggy and when I ride him. I just prefer it when he licks me out and I wank him. I love when he licks me out.

Michael is sh*t with money. It really pisses me off because of that. I don’t know why I haven’t finished it with him. I think he would switch if I dumped him. I think he would be in a state, where he might even kill himself. I just think it would be callous of me to do that to him as he’s such a nice guy, but maybe it’s the best for him…

The other night when Michael was out, my friend Ola came round to see me. We have been friends for years. I know he fancies me. Any way, I told him my situation. He said “leave him and be with me”. I looked at Ola with bewilderment. I couldn’t believe what I heard. I was numb and shocked. At this point Ola put his arm around me and kissed me. Maybe it was the wine and I was feeling tipsy, but I kissed him back. Ola whispered in my ear, “I’ve been waiting for years to do that to you”. I looked back at him gleefully. I know it would burn Michael if I left him for Ola. This is because Michael always felt Ola had fancied me for time, and because Ola is African, Nigerian to be precise. “Do you still hear from that Boob- boo?” Michael would say to me. Conversely Ola, would ask me “Has that waste Jamo got a job yet?”

West Indian guys can’t stand when West Indians girls go out with African guys. African guys treat their women better, are educated and more financially stable. Most West Indians guys are ‘wastemen’. If they’re not ‘blazing’ weed, then they are ‘shotting’ it. If they haven't got a job, then they’re making beats on the Playstation and eating fried chicken from the chicken shop. At the start of this relationship, Michael didn’t fit that criteria at all, but now he was fitting it quite well. Sod it, he needs to fix up. As these thoughts crossed my mind, I felt Ola’s hand touching my wet p*ssy. Suddenly I heard the key turning in the front door…

http://www.amazon.co...35093856&sr=8-1

Amazon link if you wanna support.

im_up_in_this_thread_and_not_reading_gif.gif

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Simplistic and immature in style, doesn't set a scene, no atmosphere, reads like the diary of a teenage girl

He's writing about adult relationships, which don't have things like 'kissing someone back because you don't know why lol' they have things like years of repressed attraction and unwavering sadness mixed with momentary glimmers of hope and happiness and disgust and internal conflict, complex emotions

Not 'had a wine, got a lil drunk, kissed some dude'

Books aren't really the sort of thing you go 'yeah it's my first time, go easy' tbh

Wanna see someone else's first book?

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i understand the extract is meant to be straight out of some horrible woman's head but the 1st thing that pissed me off was the abuse of grammar

ie "He supposed to be a man, not a boy. He supposed to take charge of situations."

the vulgarity is unnecessary

the lack of abstract thought

i definately wrote better stories in yr 6 english

how did this even get published? diversity quota?

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yh jus clocked it is self-published through createspace

paper back tho, ahh hope the dunce didnt throw too much money at it

esq what do u write? jus non-fiction / journalist sh*t? links?

mite actually sit down n start writin again if i can stop smokin proper n form rational thoughts

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