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Ashman

Job Interview Tips

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I've been unemployed for 10 years and may finally have a job! I'm thinking to pull a Ted but any of you man got any tips on how to get through an interview?

What is your approach?

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good to see youre finally doing something, salute.

me, i lied tbh, just researched what was needed, talked the talk, said what they wanted to hear and landed the job

not sure if id recommend it though, unless you actually know what youre doing

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Fine. I will continue to take your tax money then.

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good to see youre finally doing something, salute.

me, i lied tbh, just researched what was needed, talked the talk, said what they wanted to hear and landed the job

not sure if id recommend it though, unless you actually know what youre doing

I don't have a clue. Just applied for some random job and made it through. It is 31k a year though. All good.

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Fine. I will continue to take your tax money then.

We give u that and for a reason.

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Confidence in your ability to perform the required tasks. Know the job as well as you can and charm the interviewers. My boss told me I got my job two minutes into the first interview and still have to go through an additional interview, but I impressed him enough with my desire to get the job he knew he had the right candidate.

And now I'm here posting motivational bollocks on VIP2 like its 2008 or something

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Confidence in your ability to perform the required tasks. Know the job as well as you can and charm the interviewers. My boss told me I got my job two minutes into the first interview and still have to go through an additional interview, but I impressed him enough with my desire to get the job he knew he had the right candidate.

And now I'm here posting motivational bollocks on VIP2 like its 2008 or something

Thanks bro but I suppose I'm looking for a way not to get the job. 31k is alright but it ain't exactly benefits blad.

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You have not had a job for ten years that's a disgrace. But I presume you now want to set a good example to your off spring ? That's good. Confidence research the job role and the company you want to work for.

So you mean to tell me last job was as a builder when you was doing up that house and decided to have a wank over that page 3 model in the sun. Yes I remember

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You have not had a job for ten years that's a disgrace. But I presume you now want to set a good example to your off spring ? That's good. Confidence research the job role and the company you want to work for.

So you mean to tell me last job was as a builder when you was doing up that house and decided to have a wank over that page 3 model in the sun. Yes I remember

sh*t!!!!

I even forgot about that. Yeah since 9/11 I have suffered with PTSD since seeing the event on the TV.

Bush is my hero.

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Confidence in your ability to perform the required tasks. Know the job as well as you can and charm the interviewers. My boss told me I got my job two minutes into the first interview and still have to go through an additional interview, but I impressed him enough with my desire to get the job he knew he had the right candidate.

And now I'm here posting motivational bollocks on VIP2 like its 2008 or something

Thanks bro but I suppose I'm looking for a way not to get the job. 31k is alright but it ain't exactly benefits blad.

rhjryjytktktkut,kt,uktiu

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ashman getting a job

tulse admin

dinky giving up drugs

what the f*ck is happening

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Imagine going into work one day and your manager drops

"we have a new member of staff joining us today everyone say hello to Sean..."

And u look up to see

showerashdotfa6.jpg

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finfibr

htr

hrthr

tr

trhrt

man's face is always covered in cold sores

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Smile. Stand up straight. Firm handshake.

Unemployed for 10 years and interviewing for a 31k a year job? Good luck.

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Im gonna take this seriously anyway coz it might help someone

Wear a suit and tie if its an office job coz being overdressed is better than being underdressed in these situations

some of the questions they ask you can be quite difficult

what are yours strengths? easy.

what are your weaknesses? not so easy. use something that you can twist into a positive eg 'in the past i was trying to do too much, some of which was outwith the responsibilities of my role that could have been performed by others. this meant i had more issues under my ownership than approprite for my position. to resolve this i learnt when to seek help or to assign tasks to others, but i believe it shows that i have a desire to work hard/help others/learn more about the operations of the business" etc

another one:

Q: how would your colleagues at [previous job] describe you?

A: he's a great guy (then go into something about i enjoy working in a team etc)

i used this twice both times the interviewers laughed and i got the job :Y:

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How can I turn my weaknesses of 10 years of going from Rwd forums, to a racist, benefit scrounger, a football hooligan, to Vip2 etc. ?

There must be a way to turn this around into a positive surely?

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research bruv, research research research. know exactly it is youll be doing, know what the company does, know answers to standard ?'s like "where do you see yourself in 5 years?" "why did you leave your last job?" etc etc

learn the role

but most importantly, talk the talk. you gotta sell yourself, you could be the best candidate but if you turn up stare at your shoes and speak like a mouse theyll just send you out. act like the job is yours

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that shouldnt matter, if you have been selected for an interview they must think you could be good enough for the job

interview is just a test of your personality, communications skills etc

if you're not getting interviews at all, find someone who's self imployed / runs their own business

get them to lie and say they have been employing you for the last 6-12 months

you will get a job in no time

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jus clocked u couldn't even blag u've ran a business or nothin cos they'll be able to check you've been on the dole plus they've already got ur cv

10 years wtf

your not gettin that job

best advice would be get a sh*t job 1st n then look about

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thing is why did they give him an interview unless they are considering him for the job?

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How can I turn my weaknesses of 10 years of going from Rwd forums, to a racist, benefit scrounger, a football hooligan, to Vip2 etc. ?

There must be a way to turn this around into a positive surely?

How can you so casually write off being a racist

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