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Ashman

Disciplining Children

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Didn't watch but I will be taking the west African approach to disciplining my children

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^^^ beat them with the wooden spoon and make 'go an face the wall' ??

I read that one guy used to write notes on his childrens backs when they acted up because he had so many that they would take piss out of each other.

eg. ''I'm a liar'' make them walk round with that note stuck to their back the whole day. I believe that's called negative social labeling.

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TBH It depends how old your talking about, I see people leaving babies under 6months sobbing their hearts out. Reality is when Baby is crying its because they need something.

Same with Toddlers yeh it gets fustrating when you have "Terrible Two's" But again you have to cross check you have done everything.. Are they sleepy? Hungry? Fustrated at trying to communicate with you and you not understanding. .. And then yes you get those lil shits... from around 3 onwards. Discipline is important but I believe if the foundation is their the understanding you do not need to resort to beating a child.

Consequences and consistency are just as important and if you are consistant with your child you will not need to resort to such an aggressive way of dealing with them.

But too many parents will give in to keep their child quiet/happy whilst they do something THEY wanna do. Reality check guys the day you decided to have that baby is the day WHAT YOU WANT is out the picture.

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Dunno how many times I have to say it but kids who're beaten during childhood are statistically far more likely to develop emotional issues in later life

Not worth it for a quiet night in IMO

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TBH It depends how old your talking about, I see people leaving babies under 6months sobbing their hearts out. Reality is when Baby is crying its because they need something.

Same with Toddlers yeh it gets fustrating when you have "Terrible Two's" But again you have to cross check you have done everything.. Are they sleepy? Hungry? Fustrated at trying to communicate with you and you not understanding. .. And then yes you get those lil shits... from around 3 onwards. Discipline is important but I believe if the foundation is their the understanding you do not need to resort to beating a child.

Consequences and consistency are just as important and if you are consistant with your child you will not need to resort to such an aggressive way of dealing with them.

But too many parents will give in to keep their child quiet/happy whilst they do something THEY wanna do. Reality check guys the day you decided to have that baby is the day WHAT YOU WANT is out the picture.

cenamadface.jpg

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the mother can deal with that sh*t

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Clapped up in the back of the head/neck back after one warning. My son listens. First time. He knows what happens when he doesn't.

/

Also, when I call my child, I don't tolerate "Yes Dad" from a next room. Clapped up in the back of the head. When I call you, move same time. When I was called, I got up and went to them and said "Yes?", or shouted "Coming" so they knew I was on my way.

Respect is paramount, also a little fear, so children know there's consequences to bad behaviour. I'm not talking simple mistakes. But children are too bad nowadays because they know there's no consequence to their actions. Single Mum's are the worst.

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Spare the rod, spoil the child.

I'm not talking about beating them black and blue for spilling a drink.... But same time, when that line is crossed and words are no longer effective then yes, smacking/ slapping will come into the equation.... f*ck having my kids making a scene in public or not listening or misbehaving and me yelling hot air at them.... The threat of pain gives ur words weight cos they know what will happen if they don't listen.

f*ck this PC culture.. Every generation up until recent years got smacked and never did anyone any harm..... Now that they "took" this power away from parents, just look at the rapid decline in the youth of today.... I'm a youth worker and f*ck having my kids turn out like the nobheads I work with

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People are quite seriously gassed/ill informed imo

Most of the people who have turned out worst in terms of life choices - prison, killing, drug selling, drug taking etc

Got f*ckED UP by their parents. My cousin has recently touched down from prison after 11 years...my aunt would have (and did) lick him down swiftly if he showed her any direspect or did anything she thought was untoward

I am going to be very honest with you and whether you accept it or not it's the truth, the black youths in this country as a WHOLE are in a f*cked up place. And by the large majority they are the ones who are physically disciplined (hitting, smacking, whatever) I don't think you would disagree with this

It might breed fear/respect of the parent, but it will do little else.

It is a temporary measure that works because it promotes physical EXTERNAL control over a child, but it does NOTHING to promote INTERNAL morals or decision making. it simply teaches them. 'Behave-or else'.

It's said beating causes many children to focus on the punishment, rather than their poor decison and tbh I'd agree.

There is also overwhelming evidence that suggests children who are often beaten grow up to be violent and have anger issues themselves, it teaches antisocial behaviour, and again, from what I've seen I wouldn't disagree

Another problem I have with it is I see it happen a lot when a parent just runs out of patience or is in a bad mood, they will smack their yout for some trivial sh*t, now that to me is the parent throwing a tantrum themselves, personally I think that's pathetic

I largely see all this as lazy parenting

No different to leaving your child infront of the TV or the PC for hours on end, it's lazy parenting, take the time and the effort to do things properly, you shouldn't just bang a grown person in the face if you have a disagreement or they wrong you, and it's no different with a child, infact it's MORE important because that child is still learning, and how you react when they do something wrong (because they will, because they are children and it's what they do) will shape them as a person

If your child is doing something wrong, speak to them, explain to them why it is wrong, why they shouldn't do it, and what they have to do to redeem themselves and put it right, it's an important moral learning process that is better than just pure fear

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Clapped up in the back of the head/neck back after one warning. My son listens. First time. He knows what happens when he doesn't.

/

Also, when I call my child, I don't tolerate "Yes Dad" from a next room. Clapped up in the back of the head. When I call you, move same time. When I was called, I got up and went to them and said "Yes?", or shouted "Coming" so they knew I was on my way.

Respect is paramount, also a little fear, so children know there's consequences to bad behaviour. I'm not talking simple mistakes. But children are too bad nowadays because they know there's no consequence to their actions. Single Mum's are the worst.

From what age do you deem it acceptable to smack the back of your childs head?

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Clapped up in the back of the head/neck back after one warning. My son listens. First time. He knows what happens when he doesn't.

/

Also, when I call my child, I don't tolerate "Yes Dad" from a next room. Clapped up in the back of the head. When I call you, move same time. When I was called, I got up and went to them and said "Yes?", or shouted "Coming" so they knew I was on my way.

Respect is paramount, also a little fear, so children know there's consequences to bad behaviour. I'm not talking simple mistakes. But children are too bad nowadays because they know there's no consequence to their actions. Single Mum's are the worst.

c/s

same approach i will be taking

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People are quite seriously gassed/ill informed imo

Most of the people who have turned out worst in terms of life choices - prison, killing, drug selling, drug taking etc

Got f*ckED UP by their parents. My cousin has recently touched down from prison after 11 years...my aunt would have (and did) lick him down swiftly if he showed her any direspect or did anything she thought was untoward

I am going to be very honest with you and whether you accept it or not it's the truth, the black youths in this country as a WHOLE are in a f*cked up place. And by the large majority they are the ones who are physically disciplined (hitting, smacking, whatever) I don't think you would disagree with this

It might breed fear/respect of the parent, but it will do little else.

It is a temporary measure that works because it promotes physical EXTERNAL control over a child, but it does NOTHING to promote INTERNAL morals or decision making. it simply teaches them. 'Behave-or else'.

It's said beating causes many children to focus on the punishment, rather than their poor decison and tbh I'd agree.

There is also overwhelming evidence that suggests children who are often beaten grow up to be violent and have anger issues themselves, it teaches antisocial behaviour, and again, from what I've seen I wouldn't disagree

Another problem I have with it is I see it happen a lot when a parent just runs out of patience or is in a bad mood, they will smack their yout for some trivial sh*t, now that to me is the parent throwing a tantrum themselves, personally I think that's pathetic

I largely see all this as lazy parenting

No different to leaving your child infront of the TV or the PC for hours on end, it's lazy parenting, take the time and the effort to do things properly, you shouldn't just bang a grown person in the face if you have a disagreement or they wrong you, and it's no different with a child, infact it's MORE important because that child is still learning, and how you react when they do something wrong (because they will, because they are children and it's what they do) will shape them as a person

If your child is doing something wrong, speak to them, explain to them why it is wrong, why they shouldn't do it, and what they have to do to redeem themselves and put it right, it's an important moral learning process that is better than just pure fear

Strongly agree with this post. Especially the parts I have highlighted.

Too many men especially have grown up with anger issues and do not know how to express them self correctly with out being voilent or aggressive because this was quite often the only way things were expressed to them through childhood.

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straight claps for any backchat

wooden spoon for stealing

iron for getting arrested

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lmao i member my uncle try burn his son for stoning girls with snow (what we would call a snowball fight)

man was so pissed the ting wernt plugged in

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Never thought i would say this but I think beatings in the black community and in other ethnic communities need to be toned down a notch in all honesty . Nothing wrong with a slap here and there, maybe two,two licks with the leather side of the belt but when it comes to using the big ol wooden spoon,belt buckle,curtain rod ,tumps to the head etc i think we should move on from all that sh*t . I think it does more damage than good .

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Lines :lol:

/

Housework

Belt Buckle across the jaw

Sparring

Patrick Cox to the neck

Pepper in the eyes

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LOL @ Patrick Cox to the neck.

I do think if you have to continuously smack/beat your child then your parenting skills need to be seriously reviewed. I can recall every time my mum smacked me and will admit I over stepped the mark at those given times. In general all she had to do is speak to me firmly (in patois) and I played my position.

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pepper in the eyes fam u can blind ur youte

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People are quite seriously gassed/ill informed imo

Most of the people who have turned out worst in terms of life choices - prison, killing, drug selling, drug taking etc

Got f*ckED UP by their parents. My cousin has recently touched down from prison after 11 years...my aunt would have (and did) lick him down swiftly if he showed her any direspect or did anything she thought was untoward

I am going to be very honest with you and whether you accept it or not it's the truth, the black youths in this country as a WHOLE are in a f*cked up place. And by the large majority they are the ones who are physically disciplined (hitting, smacking, whatever) I don't think you would disagree with this

It might breed fear/respect of the parent, but it will do little else.

It is a temporary measure that works because it promotes physical EXTERNAL control over a child, but it does NOTHING to promote INTERNAL morals or decision making. it simply teaches them. 'Behave-or else'.

It's said beating causes many children to focus on the punishment, rather than their poor decison and tbh I'd agree.

There is also overwhelming evidence that suggests children who are often beaten grow up to be violent and have anger issues themselves, it teaches antisocial behaviour, and again, from what I've seen I wouldn't disagree

Another problem I have with it is I see it happen a lot when a parent just runs out of patience or is in a bad mood, they will smack their yout for some trivial sh*t, now that to me is the parent throwing a tantrum themselves, personally I think that's pathetic

I largely see all this as lazy parenting

No different to leaving your child infront of the TV or the PC for hours on end, it's lazy parenting, take the time and the effort to do things properly, you shouldn't just bang a grown person in the face if you have a disagreement or they wrong you, and it's no different with a child, infact it's MORE important because that child is still learning, and how you react when they do something wrong (because they will, because they are children and it's what they do) will shape them as a person

If your child is doing something wrong, speak to them, explain to them why it is wrong, why they shouldn't do it, and what they have to do to redeem themselves and put it right, it's an important moral learning process that is better than just pure fear

Strongly agree with this post. Especially the parts I have highlighted.

Too many men especially have grown up with anger issues and do not know how to express them self correctly with out being voilent or aggressive because this was quite often the only way things were expressed to them through childhood.

All b/s IMO

And how can he say the black youths are screwed because they are disciplined by smacking pmsl

All that anger issues talk is what white people say about white children who are beaten stiff in their youths to what borders on abuse

I your child grows up to act up don't put it down to discipline the kid, mistakes can be made elsewhere FFS

About black youths are f*cked

Lol

Kids are growing up in African families are making it off the back of that culture, no nonsense parenting

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Also round my way nobody got smacked unless they fully took the piss

Just white man exaggeration

You think in Africa every kid gets clarted with a spoon because they didn't say their please and thanks?

The problem with this society is because discipline is internalised

It takes a village to raise a child

Everyone has their own shitty morals now and so there are conflicting views from within the parents house and the outside world

All the hard work done indoors can be undone by those stupid friends with swag parents if one isn't careful

In the olden days most people had the same values and I you violate someone somewhere would chastise you

Now it's a free for all, where everyone has their own distorted parenting model

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All that withstanding, clearly violence towards children breeds more violence which is ultimately the issue?

My father beat me and his father beat him etc etc

It's cyclical, like a hereditary disease

Do you remember what your mind state was like in you infancy? How your brain worked? Course not, it was still forming and growing and learning

If you've got someone who should be the most trusted person in your life showering pain down on you, what does that do to you budding psyche?

Nothing good I'd imagine

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