Disciplining Children

[Skenghis Khan]

Just white man exaggeration

thats hardly fair, you say that as if blax dont bask in the aghast expressions of white folk as they regale them with the fondly remembered details of their favorite beatings, or as if childhood beatings dont make up at least a third of the material of most black standups.

/

occasional clip round the ear'ole never did anyone any harm tho.

[Marly Mar]

Also round my way nobody got smacked unless they fully took the piss

Just white man exaggeration

You think in Africa every kid gets clarted with a spoon because they didn't say their please and thanks?

The problem with this society is because discipline is internalised

It takes a village to raise a child

Everyone has their own shitty morals now and so there are conflicting views from within the parents house and the outside world

All the hard work done indoors can be undone by those stupid friends with swag parents if one isn't careful

In the olden days most people had the same values and I you violate someone somewhere would chastise you

Now it's a free for all, where everyone has their own distorted parenting model

REAL

[Fighting Weight]

People are quite seriously gassed/ill informed imo

Most of the people who have turned out worst in terms of life choices - prison, killing, drug selling, drug taking etc

Got f*ckED UP by their parents. My cousin has recently touched down from prison after 11 years...my aunt would have (and did) lick him down swiftly if he showed her any direspect or did anything she thought was untoward

I am going to be very honest with you and whether you accept it or not it's the truth, the black youths in this country as a WHOLE are in a f*cked up place. And by the large majority they are the ones who are physically disciplined (hitting, smacking, whatever) I don't think you would disagree with this

It might breed fear/respect of the parent, but it will do little else.

It is a temporary measure that works because it promotes physical EXTERNAL control over a child, but it does NOTHING to promote INTERNAL morals or decision making. it simply teaches them. 'Behave-or else'.

It's said beating causes many children to focus on the punishment, rather than their poor decison and tbh I'd agree.

There is also overwhelming evidence that suggests children who are often beaten grow up to be violent and have anger issues themselves, it teaches antisocial behaviour, and again, from what I've seen I wouldn't disagree

Another problem I have with it is I see it happen a lot when a parent just runs out of patience or is in a bad mood, they will smack their yout for some trivial sh*t, now that to me is the parent throwing a tantrum themselves, personally I think that's pathetic

I largely see all this as lazy parenting

No different to leaving your child infront of the TV or the PC for hours on end, it's lazy parenting, take the time and the effort to do things properly, you shouldn't just bang a grown person in the face if you have a disagreement or they wrong you, and it's no different with a child, infact it's MORE important because that child is still learning, and how you react when they do something wrong (because they will, because they are children and it's what they do) will shape them as a person

If your child is doing something wrong, speak to them, explain to them why it is wrong, why they shouldn't do it, and what they have to do to redeem themselves and put it right, it's an important moral learning process that is better than just pure fear

Strongly agree with this post. Especially the parts I have highlighted.

Too many men especially have grown up with anger issues and do not know how to express them self correctly with out being voilent or aggressive because this was quite often the only way things were expressed to them through childhood.

All b/s IMO

And how can he say the black youths are screwed because they are disciplined by smacking pmsl

All that anger issues talk is what white people say about white children who are beaten stiff in their youths to what borders on abuse

I your child grows up to act up don't put it down to discipline the kid, mistakes can be made elsewhere FFS

About black youths are f*cked

Lol

Kids are growing up in African families are making it off the back of that culture, no nonsense parenting

Not at a pc right now and its difficult to type mobileso I will just say this

1 nowhere did I say kids are f*cked because they were smacked. I said they are f*cked inspite of being smacked. Be sensible.

2 yeah black youths as a a whole are f*cked, where have you been

Kids aren't getting worse because hey are being hit less, they are getting worse because they are being exposed to too much at a young age, given too much power without enough responsibility, and are bombarded with all manner of sinful influences from the age of 10

Children will take the piss if they are not taught to do otherwise, if your kid will only think twice about doing something because the will be a slap....you have failed

[kurious]

lmao at favorite beatings, the only times beatings were even remotely enjoyable is when it was group beatings, you had others to share the shame with....'aaah didnt even hurt, did u flinch cuz??'

other than that straight repress dat memory moretime

[Captain Planet]

All that withstanding, clearly violence towards children breeds more violence which is ultimately the issue?

My father beat me and his father beat him etc etc

It's cyclical, like a hereditary disease

Do you remember what your mind state was like in you infancy? How your brain worked? Course not, it was still forming and growing and learning

If you've got someone who should be the most trusted person in your life showering pain down on you, what does that do to you budding psyche?

Nothing good I'd imagine

Esq if you never see it for anything more than violence then obviously it's going to sound bad to you.

And the loved ones aren't meant to cuddle you 24/7 that's not love, if you are afraid to show someone what the implications of doing wrong are because you don't want them to dislike you for a bit that is not love.

Nobody is showering down beatings, stop exaggerating it, it's not a pub brawl, nobody has come home drunk and starting kicking lumps into their kid, they are using it as a deterrent in the presence of wrongdoing.

Then when you're older and beatings are no longer a deterrent you should by then understand why they took place with your more developed mind.

I don't know how your father beat you but maybe it was violent, but my dad never beat me and guess what? I'm closer to my mum who on occasion drew for the cane, because now I see that when I was bad at school, the smack and subsequent fear of further smack kept me straight and narrow enough to make it through.

Then as I got older I was thankful I had an effective deterrent to stop me descending into something else.

Obviously other factors are included, because yes some kids may experience the same and still run riot but the numbers are vastly in favour of good ol' discipline in my books because every family I know who have done it their kids are successful.

All in all just like any aspect of parenting it must be implemented correctly, don't blame the method blame the person/people using it.

[Fighting Weight]

If you flinch.... Why you flinching for? Moar beats

If you don't flinch, you tink yuh big man? Moar beats

[E.A.S.E]

You can show a child about consequences of doing wrong/not listening by many other options than smacking/beaitng them thats just you taking your anger and fustration out on your child. You putting all your bullshit issues onto you kid!! BE CONSISTENT!! NOT VOILENT!!

Thats not being a loving parent, thats being a parent who has issues they aint dealt with and will continue handing them down generation to generation until there is a strong one who will change the cycle and do what is right.

Id say im suprised at the amount of ppl who deem it acceptable to beat their children on here and their atttitues about disciplining children but tbh im not suprised because most of the peoplee on here were clearly beat on themselfs and have made it perfectly clear of their scars & willing to continue the cycle of lazy parenting. Good luck with your kids.

[Captain Planet]

Don't say good luck with that condescending tone, you are simply too simple to understand this concept of discipline with E.A.S.E. as you username falsely suggests.

You and Esquilax have something in common more than just names it seems, maybe you we're f*cked up by your parents but nobody was getting beats out of personal issues and anger. If you would suggest that my mother had issues so then smacked me when I was wrong I'd like you to meet my mother and assess her character for yourself.

Don't have to be angry to smack the kids bottom to teach him no that's wrong, people been doing it for decades and many a great man and woman has been borne out of that discipline so why is it all a sudden a big taboo to you?

Stop being stupid.

[Drift]

You can show a child about consequences of doing wrong/not listening by many other options than smacking/beaitng them thats just you taking your anger and fustration out on your child. You putting all your bullshit issues onto you kid!! BE CONSISTENT!! NOT VOILENT!!

Thats not being a loving parent, thats being a parent who has issues they aint dealt with and will continue handing them down generation to generation until there is a strong one who will change the cycle and do what is right.

Id say im suprised at the amount of ppl who deem it acceptable to beat their children on here and their atttitues about disciplining children but tbh im not suprised because most of the peoplee on here were clearly beat on themselfs and have made it perfectly clear of their scars & willing to continue the cycle of lazy parenting. Good luck with your kids.

good luck trying to figure out what to do with little caydens hair and ashy knuckles once abou gets his papers and cuts.

[Sole]

Ain't gonna lie I never learnt sh*t from a beat just used to think "f*ck u dad"

Just being honest I don't ever recall doing something bad and then thinking "oh sh*t but I will get beats allow this"

Some people are over proud for getting beats I never understand this tbh some 'I've had a much harder life' attitude like say u deserve more respect cos u needed a slap.

Mentioned it b4 and vybes and Dave got all defensive making out I must of had John and yoko for parents

[E.A.S.E]

Don't say good luck with that condescending tone, you are simply too simple to understand this concept of discipline with E.A.S.E. as you username falsely suggests.

You and Esquilax have something in common more than just names it seems, maybe you we're f*cked up by your parents but nobody was getting beats out of personal issues and anger. If you would suggest that my mother had issues so then smacked me when I was wrong I'd like you to meet my mother and assess her character for yourself.

Don't have to be angry to smack the kids bottom to teach him no that's wrong, people been doing it for decades and many a great man and woman has been borne out of that discipline so why is it all a sudden a big taboo to you?

Stop being stupid.

Personally I think your being stupid TBH.

The comment about nobody getting hit out of personal issues and anger is IMO a false statement to make, When people get angry they loose their temper resulting in shouting or physical aggressive theres a difference with a slap on the hand or bum to actually being hit several times thats boardering the line of physical abuse. Theres also a difference between telling your child off and actually insulting him/her and knocking their confidence out of them thats also emotional abuse by name calling. Now I believe we have come far from caveman days and believe that there are alternatives to disciplining a child.

I Dont feel no way about your comments about my upbringing because I dont have issues with anyway in which my parents brought me up and actually feel very proud to have been so lucky to have two amazing parents.

You can show a child about consequences of doing wrong/not listening by many other options than smacking/beaitng them thats just you taking your anger and fustration out on your child. You putting all your bullshit issues onto you kid!! BE CONSISTENT!! NOT VOILENT!!

Thats not being a loving parent, thats being a parent who has issues they aint dealt with and will continue handing them down generation to generation until there is a strong one who will change the cycle and do what is right.

Id say im suprised at the amount of ppl who deem it acceptable to beat their children on here and their atttitues about disciplining children but tbh im not suprised because most of the peoplee on here were clearly beat on themselfs and have made it perfectly clear of their scars & willing to continue the cycle of lazy parenting. Good luck with your kids.

good luck trying to figure out what to do with little caydens hair and ashy knuckles once abou gets his papers and cuts.

Drift Im not sure If I should be flattered on concerned at the fact you remember my childs name

And your comment is just complete ignorance but what can you expect from a halfwit?

[stacksbranning]

Beatings can work but if you have to keep on beating your kids you need to look at yourself and asses your parenting skills .

The thing i have against beating is sometimes its done out of anger and not love .

[Kurtis]

People are quite seriously gassed/ill informed imo

Most of the people who have turned out worst in terms of life choices - prison, killing, drug selling, drug taking etc

Got f*ckED UP by their parents. My cousin has recently touched down from prison after 11 years...my aunt would have (and did) lick him down swiftly if he showed her any direspect or did anything she thought was untoward

I am going to be very honest with you and whether you accept it or not it's the truth, the black youths in this country as a WHOLE are in a f*cked up place. And by the large majority they are the ones who are physically disciplined (hitting, smacking, whatever) I don't think you would disagree with this

It might breed fear/respect of the parent, but it will do little else.

It is a temporary measure that works because it promotes physical EXTERNAL control over a child, but it does NOTHING to promote INTERNAL morals or decision making. it simply teaches them. 'Behave-or else'.

It's said beating causes many children to focus on the punishment, rather than their poor decison and tbh I'd agree.

There is also overwhelming evidence that suggests children who are often beaten grow up to be violent and have anger issues themselves, it teaches antisocial behaviour, and again, from what I've seen I wouldn't disagree

Another problem I have with it is I see it happen a lot when a parent just runs out of patience or is in a bad mood, they will smack their yout for some trivial sh*t, now that to me is the parent throwing a tantrum themselves, personally I think that's pathetic

I largely see all this as lazy parenting

No different to leaving your child infront of the TV or the PC for hours on end, it's lazy parenting, take the time and the effort to do things properly, you shouldn't just bang a grown person in the face if you have a disagreement or they wrong you, and it's no different with a child, infact it's MORE important because that child is still learning, and how you react when they do something wrong (because they will, because they are children and it's what they do) will shape them as a person

If your child is doing something wrong, speak to them, explain to them why it is wrong, why they shouldn't do it, and what they have to do to redeem themselves and put it right, it's an important moral learning process that is better than just pure fear

Strongly agree with this post. Especially the parts I have highlighted.

Too many men especially have grown up with anger issues and do not know how to express them self correctly with out being voilent or aggressive because this was quite often the only way things were expressed to them through childhood.

All b/s IMO

And how can he say the black youths are screwed because they are disciplined by smacking pmsl

All that anger issues talk is what white people say about white children who are beaten stiff in their youths to what borders on abuse

I your child grows up to act up don't put it down to discipline the kid, mistakes can be made elsewhere FFS

About black youths are f*cked

Lol

Kids are growing up in African families are making it off the back of that culture, no nonsense parenting

can c/s this as being bullshit

i had the living sh*t beaten out of me as a kid on numerous occasions and ive only ever had 1 fight, never had any trouble with police, did alright in school, dont beat up women etc so i dunno where all that s comin from

and before local mentions it, my mental health is hereditary on my mum's side, whole load of us have them issues from ages and most didnt get beatings

[E.A.S.E]

Beatings can work but if you have to keep on beating your kids you need to look at yourself and asses your parenting skills .

The thing i have against beating is sometimes its done out of anger and not love .

So are you saying that when a man hits a woman its out of love not anger?

[Sole]

Beatings can work but if you have to keep on beating your kids you need to look at yourself and asses your parenting skills .

The thing i have against beating is sometimes its done out of anger and not love .

So are you saying that when a man hits a woman its out of love not anger?

Where has he said that?

[E.A.S.E]

Beatings can work but if you have to keep on beating your kids you need to look at yourself and asses your parenting skills .

The thing i have against beating is sometimes its done out of anger and not love .

So are you saying that when a man hits a woman its out of love not anger?

Where has he said that?

One could argue that if you hit a child out of love that you can also hit your partner out of love.

to

and in my opinion thats bullshit.

We can loose our tempers with the ones we love yes but you cannot say you hit your child/partner because you love them thats a bullshit excuse You hit because you are weak

[Sole]

The child is being disaplined that's the difference.

[Kurtis]

ease talks so much f*ckin sh*t

shes just veers off and talks about randon sh*t

[Sole]

Brought up an argument that she didn't even believe in that no one else had suggested.

Women smh

[Skenghis Khan]

surely anger is the only reason one might hit someone, calmly handing out beatings is a psychopathic trait tbh.

and just to throw this out there why is it wrong for children to know that their parents can sometimes become angry, given they are human beings rather than emotionless child rearing robots?

[E.A.S.E]

ease talks so much f*ckin sh*t

shes just veers off and talks about randon sh*t

LOL you just cant handle being challanged alot of men can't no shame in that

[Kurtis]

you havent even said anything to me

[Zizouz]

One could argue that if you hit a child out of love that you can also hit your partner out of love.

[Sole]

Bitches be gassed yo!

[SLEAZE BALL]

the key is balance

using belts clothes hangers or the cord for the iron is child abuse but at the same time puttin a child on a time out when it clearly is not working for that child is the same thing imo