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Di Confidence


Guest chap44uns

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Depends on the context but generally I've learnt that confidence is just doing something where you know what the outcome is likely to be, therefore there are no fears. We are creatures of habit, we don't like change and we don't like stepping into the unknown.

The best way to build confidence is to expose yourself to situations where you are not confident. Confidence comes with experience. You can apply this to anything, drawing girls, giving large speeches, etc the more you expose yourself to the "unknown" the more confident you will be.

I would say any logical and rational person should be fairly confident, because they should be able to analyse situations and realise sometimes there is no reason to fear.

Personally, I am fairly confident but varies in context, can be 8 or low as 6.

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Follow-up question, where does your confidence come from?

 

 

good question

 

i know the guy is talking about girls but im going to talk football(my time as a CF as this was when confidence was most needed) as its the same

 

sometimes i had zero confidence and guys were giving me all the encouragement putting me into positions to score but I was just out of step not making the runs or backing up looking for the easy tap ins where i couldnt miss

 

i might score 2/3 goals but in my head id tell myself they were anything anyone could of done that, i got lucky...even if it was a worldy (slef doubt)

 

but in contrast there was other times where i would step onto the pitch thinking i am Maradona, dropping deep picking up the ball, spraying it out to my team mate, having a nice little one two before putting him clean through and smiling to myself thinking you know that goal, that was all me...even if no one else acknowledges it I KNOW....I KNOW, other times id step up and do something outrageous like wtf you doing getting criticised in the process by people taking things too serious and then only getting props after the game is done, stepping up for pens and free kicks like its nothing and always bagging a winner.

 

but the thing is if i start the game/night low in confidence thats how it ends and vice versa no matter what happens and i have no idea WHERE IT COMES FROM OR GOES

 

/

 

right now about 8

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8/9 when I want it to be c/s Dave really

 

Where it comes from, I wouldn't want to 100% say yeah that is it.

 

But I agree with what the Dalai Lama said about confidence coming from motivation 

 

More motivated you are to do something less anxious you will be off the possible negative consequences such as failure, others opinions of you changing

 

For example a presentation, you know you have to pass, you have no choice but to go hard, so the motivation behind  that would give you the confidence to do so

 

If in your mind you are 100% motivated to do something, nothing will stop you from not having the confidence to go through with it and do it

 

I'd say biology also has a strong contribution to the mix, for example if you extroverts would be deemed to have more confidence on the outside as they are louder an more outgoing where as those who inherited more of an introvert personality would appear less confident and more anxious

 

Plus obvious other mixers in the cocktail like your upbringing and experiences

 

No one shoe fits all

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Fluxate's between a 6-8, recently it's been an 8 as my gym work has been on point, which radiates confidence, which essentially rubs off on potential targets. My group helps alot, we're all pretty competitive, not just in women, but jobs, general success, football and gym. But mainly i'm self motivated and my confidence comes from the will to get stronger, become better and be the best.

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Not to get too technical but there is state and trait confidence.

State confidence is having confidence in one particular area of your life e.g. You may be an excellent pianist and have all the confidence in the world when you sit behind that piano but lack confidence in all other areas

Trait confidence is when you're just a naturally confident person in all/most areas of life.

I believe I've got trait confidence that comes from my dad. He's a cocky motherfucker and that's defo rubbed off on me.

In general I'm a 8/9 outta 10

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