Vertigo

Greatest Sexual Escapes or Flops

16 posts in this topic

Greatest escape for me was when I met a woman on Flirt which was like adultfriendfinder.

 

Anyway got chatting to this woman she was an artist about 35 and very milfy. Things progressed and the chats got naughtier. She started sending me pictures etc she lived fairly close to me. But her and her ex hubby shared custody of the her 2 kids so she had them for one month he had them the next etc.

 

Anyone we were chatting over a few weeks. and arranging to meet up the following week when she vanishes for like two days. I was browsing on the third day and saw her come online saying she had to take a break off the net as she got some bad news recently. Asked her what was up and she said she noticed something on her p*ssy a few weeks back went to the doctor and he checked it out it was genital herpes.

 

I just paused mid sentence and just said sheshhhhh.

 

What happened is she used to be on the site get horny and invite men round and let them f*ck her bare. She was at that time dating some aff guy and she thinks she got it from him. :lol:  So she had to go onto the site and email all these guys she'd met on there and tell them they had better go and get checked out.

 

Whatever happened, I'm forever thankful I avoided that bomb.

 

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Definitely came in here to say

 

"escapades"

 

 

 

Never mind, as you were

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this one chick who seemed like a loose cannon

 

would be all sweet and loving today, then tomorrow she wont even talk to man, ill message like hey, shes like fuck off you prick who are you? then a few hours later message me like hey baby you ok?

 

wont like, the sex i was imagining was on point

 

but i know she woulda stabbed man

 

was gonna be my first asian

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Don't want to go into detail met one ting three years ago we fucked at her yard bareback (very stupid I know) for the next 3 months my d*ck stung when I pissed. Had an aids test last year so glad she never passed that onto me

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Fak @ Fresh's story lmao

 

 

Remember 1 ting I was linking before my ex.

 

My boy was on it but she said she was on me so swapped numbers etc... not overly impressed with the ting but she picked man out the lineup so gave her the benefit of the doubt.

 

Went Cinema a few times, she try hit me with the she is looking for a relationship, just plain faced her.

 

Try send me 1 of them chain txt about "I've been summoned to the court of love, how do I plead?"

 

Txt back "Not guilty"

 

 

Linked her at her yard 1 time in Harlesden, left that day and didn't look back.

 

 

Few years later at college in computer room checking facepic with my boys, her face comes on the screen, 1 of my boys goes in Swizz Beats Showtime voice

 

BIG TIME

 

 

lol I said "slosh?"

 

 

He said "big time slosh from the endz"

 

 

lol knew not to give this ting the time of day, was a bit offended how she try talk the relationship talk to me like I was that guy.

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LOL @ not guilty

 

Any girl that brings up/applies pressure for relationships too early always rings them alarm bells

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lol oh snap, i remember this one ting hit me up on blendr and i linked it 3 hours later

 

after i banged and she was jamming butt naked (didnt even know her real name) she tried talk about relationship

 

im usually smooth but the blood hadnt returned to my brain yet so i was just like.. we'll see

 

never spoke to her again

 

the audacity

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THAT IS THE NUMBER 1 RULE IN LIFE I NEED TO TRY AND GET OUT OF AND NOT SUCCUMB TO...

 

"JUST BECAUSE A GIRL IS PRETTY, DOESNT MEAN SHE IS NOT A ZOSH"

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I know I'm not the only nigga that's had a conversation to the tune of....

 

 

"Yo whats happening bro you cool?"

 

"Yeah u?"

 

"I'm good, you should have come to _______ the other week, you missed out yanna"

 

"You aren't the first person to tell me that. What was it saying?"

 

"Boyyy. The ratio was exquisite, you would definitely have enjoyed yourself"

 

"Oh swear? Did you draw yh?"

 

"You know me"

 

"My nigg, how prestige though?"

 

"So far she moves certy, met her a couple times and she's real cool, she seems like a good girl."

 

"What? Girlfriend material?"

 

"I only met her recently fam, come on, but to answer your question probably"

 

"Wow, show me what she looks like"

 

 

**Scrolls to pic**

 

 

"LOOOOOOOL FAM I KNOW THIS BROAD AND SHES NOT WIFEY"

 

"Oh. Swear down."

 

"All I'm gonna say is.... ______ hit. ___________ hit it too, then he passed it  to _________ EVEN ___________ beat it. I heard a couple other names too but those for certain."

 

LMAO

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THAT IS THE NUMBER 1 RULE IN LIFE I NEED TO TRY AND GET OUT OF AND NOT SUCCUMB TO...

 

"JUST BECAUSE A GIRL IS PRETTY, DOESNT MEAN SHE IS NOT A ZOSH"

 

You're like this decades Justin 

 

The things you say, the way you type. 

 

 

/

 

Don't have many great stories on this, have alot of waking up checking my phone and seeing those club close messages

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Try send me 1 of them chain txt about "I've been summoned to the court of love, how do I plead?"

 

Txt back "Not guilty"

 

jordan-laugh-cigar.jpg

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whos decades justin g?

I.AmNotHim'd ??

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Try send me 1 of them chain txt about "I've been summoned to the court of love, how do I plead?"

 

Txt back "Not guilty"

 

PMSL

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