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What are your views on the importance of fatherhood? How did the presence/absence of your father alter the course of your life? How important is it for you dudes to have a role in your child's life? How important is it for you ladies to have a father in your child's life? Guys, what's your perception on fathering another mans child or having another man play that role in your child's life? Ladies vice-versa.

Discuss

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I grew up fine without him, met him at 15 and he's gone on to become a great influencial figure in my life. I didn't/don't need mine, but he's fine to have. I don't understand, not even slightly, people who say they noticed the absence of their father, when they never knew them (people saying they wanted a father, were jealous of those with fathers, etc). It's one thing if You remember him up to a certain age, but if You never remember them, I don't get it. 

 

But in terms of me having an important role in my child's life, absolutely. I want her to have a lifetime of fully remembering me as a constant, and to be a big factor in what she becomes. 

 

Last question - if I date a woman with children, at some stage I will have to be around them. I make sure I don't meet people's children unless there's clear indications of long term, the same for them meeting mine. I've done it before, and while I'm happy to lock a woman instantly if required, I'm not happy that the day before I did I had a fun day with her son in the park, bonded, and won't see him again. So no meeting their kids or them meeting mine until we're certain it's serious. 

 

I would never try to take them on as my own, anything that is strictly the parents' responsibility, I'm not involved, and they must always call me by my first name. I'd expect the girl to continue supporting the child's relationship with their father as best they can. The only times I would come across as authorative would be if the child were in danger and I had to tell them something for their safety, or if their behaviour was affecting other people and the mum wasn't there to deal with it. 

 

Same way if the BM dates, I my relationship with my daughter should remain unaffected.

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My dad played a HUGE role in my upbringing

I love my mum but if my dad weren't around I reckon she would've been too soft with me and we would still be living on a council estate in plaistow and fuck knows what I would've become.

My dad is pretty much perfect as a father tbh

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Without my dad I would have been dead or im prison simple as...

 

I was just that kind of yout guy that was begging to become a statistic 

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Anyone that says they didn't need their father is lying to themselves

 

If you really think that way there's no point being around when you have your own kids

 

/

 

I think fathering another child is cool as long as you have kids yourself

 

but fathering a child when i've never had one of my own is a bit leaveityh

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I make sure I don't meet people's children unless there's clear indications of long term

 

This is the reason I've never messed with women with kids.

 

I know a few people who grew up with different men coming in and out of the home, not involved.

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I never understood guys who get into relationships with women who have children already.

It only works if you both have children from previous relationships

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My dad played a HUGE role in my upbringing

I love my mum but if my dad weren't around I reckon she would've been too soft with me and we would still be living on a council estate in plaistow and f*ck knows what I would've become.

My dad is pretty much perfect as a father tbh

 

Swap dad with mum and that's me.

 

Apart from the too soft part, replace that with not really involved and that pretty much sums up my dads role in my life even though we lived in the same house.

 

 

Maybe there was an influence in the case boys respect/fear fathers more but that's about it.

 

No input really, can't really say it was anything apart from laziness, defo wouldn't be a father like the 1 I had.

 

 

But I didn't really lose out cos my mum was a superwoman, if you have 1 ill parent you can pretty much get away with having an inactive 1 whether they are there or not.

 

 

The problem really comes when a child had 2 shit parents.

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Yeah my friend said even though her father lived in the house it's like he wasn't there.

My dad was great during my childhood, got a lot of happy memories.

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How important is it for you ladies to have a father in your child's life? 

 

As important as my presence as a mother will be, which is why I won't have a child to a man who i'm not willing to spend the rest of my life with. 

 

My parents split up when I was around 6 and my Dad has always been amazing, I have a step Dad too but that relationship never interupted the connection I had with my Dad. He has always supported us in every sense and made me and my brother his main prority. Sometimes I feel like he missed the boat, he didn't have time for anyone else while we were growing up and then with my brother passing and my Mums illness he had to be my rock as well as looking after himself through hard times. He says at this point he can't be bothered with a woman messing up his patterns (lol) but it saddens me, he's an amazing man and deserves a great lady. 

 

Knowing how important my Dad has been through everything I know that I wouldn't compromise that with my own children. 

 

Which leads me on to the next point..  

 

My partner has 2 kids, he's an excellent father always has been since I have known him and that makes him all the more attractive to me. Knowing that he will be that to our own is so much more important  to me than being with someone who doesn't have children or has a ton of money etc. 

 

Am I a part of their lives - Yes but in the same sense as 'aunty' or 'friend', i'm not trying to be their Mum. As my step Dad is to me, supportive, caring and a great friend I hope to be to them. 

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Always said there's no chance I would get involved with a woman with a child for a few reasons

But as you get older you have to get a little more realistic

Hitting early 30's and you're still single with no kids you may just have to start considering it

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So many women who haven't had children yet and they are in their 30s

I bet the main reason is baby father drama why you said there was no chance you would be with a woman who has children already

I just couldn't do it

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So many women who haven't had children yet and they are in their 30s

 

this! there is enough choice of women with no children available at whatever age You get to, if that's what You're going for

 

I'd have nothing against it though, if they had control of their situation with the babyfather, or (as bad as it sounds) their previous babyfather was inactive as a father

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A friend of mine has a baby with her partner whos already got a kid however cringes at the fact their sisters :/ 

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dad was cool, my sons dad is cool too, he made a bond whilst baby was in my womb so they are kindred souls.

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Couldn't father someone else's kid.

/

Dad left the house when I was 12/13, but never left my life. Couldn't be more grateful for the effort he put in to be around, still does. Made me grow up fast though, boy

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Couldn't father someone else's kid.

/

Dad left the house when I was 12/13, but never left my life. Couldn't be more grateful for the effort he put in to be around, still does. Made me grow up fast though, boy

Grow up fast in what sense?

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Couldn't father someone else's kid.

/

Dad left the house when I was 12/13, but never left my life. Couldn't be more grateful for the effort he put in to be around, still does. Made me grow up fast though, boy

Grow up fast in what sense?

Just become a teenager, eldest of three. Man of the house at 13 with two younger brothers, made me step up and become a man quicker than I had planned, which is quite evident comparing me to the other two.

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Fatherhood is VERY important tbh!
 

I would never ever "father" another womans child.

 

But im not a d*ck tho, id still keep it trill for the little yout if i ever was in that situation. (But that situation would never happen)

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My dad did/doing a perfect job. His pearls of wisdom are priceless.

I'm gonna emulate him as best as I can.

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you thought u were a badman innit

 

mum raising 3 mixed race kids all similar age, all by herself in Plaistow?

 

No chance 

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