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MrJibbles

Nymphomaniac 1 and 2

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So I've just got home from the 5 hour screening of Nymphomaniac I and II.

 

Wow, ummm where shall I begin? 

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Put it this way, if you'd sat there for 5 hours (with a 15 minute break in between) you;d be scratching your head and wondering where to begin.

 

If I do write any spoilers I'll code them and please read only if you want to find out.

 

The film is based around a woman called Joe (Charlotte Gainsbourg and Stacey Martin who was the younger version) telling her story of becoming a nymphomaniac, all the significant stories that play major roles. These stores are told to Seilgman (Stellan Skarsgård) who found her helpless in an alleyway.

 

Joe is a woman who loves sex, she'd have f*cked anyone with a pulse. It didn't matter how big, how fat, how small you were, she just wanted the D. With that comes the infamous O face pictures. 

 

The sex is real, you actually see POV shots in a few scenes, think a couple where she's giving a blowjob you see the long streak of cum as she finishes him off, hang from her lip before cleaning up. Although he said the following;

 

"We shot the actors pretending to have sex and then had the body doubles, who really did have sex, and in post we will digital impose the two. So above the waist it will be the star and the below the waist it will be the doubles"

 

Seilgman is a virgin, who has a relation to everything Joe is telling him, either religion based facts, fly fishing, items in his "monk's cave". Each story is named after something she can see, "the gun", "the mirror", coincidently these names also play a part in the bloody chapter itself. Seilgman does come across as that book smart man, who's wise but he can't relate to anything sexual until....

 

Shia seems to be playing the same character in real life - as he gets older he becomes more mute and a bit of an arse, in this he does the same. This is the same guy who was willing to record himself f*cking his girlfriend as many times as possible to get the role, fair play I suppose. Method acting at it's f*cking most sane.

 

Joe's relation to Shia's character is a continuous pop up throughout, I have a hard time believing that it randomly happened on 3 separate occasions for all different reasons; she got a job where he was working, she found ripped up pictures in her "special" place, all mysteriously scatted near a foot path, thirdly she was a debt collector and turned up at his place to make a deal.

 

Part 1 has a lot of sex scenes. Part 2 is incredibly dark, following her story has she gets older, loses her O, having to find other ways to get her kicks as she couldn't "feel" anything. Prays on a young girl, taking her in and would teach her to do the debt collecting job.

 

The alley scene where she's beaten up was down to her catching Jerome (the older version, not Shia now) and this other girl who's name I forgot are caught fondling around. Which upsets her, as this was the first guy she f*cked (3 in the p*ssy, 5 in the arse - this film has 8 chapters). Joe tried to shoot him, but the safety was on which resulted in her having the sh*t kicked out of her, made to watch this girl get f*cked over some bins and finally, literally pissed on. At that moment I cracked my knuckled and the sound must've vibrated around the cinema.

 

The final scene is Seilgman walking through the door, c*ck in hand trying to f*ck Joe; This is what you see;

 

He tried to insert from behind, she pulls away asking "What are you doing", the screen fades to black, "You've f*cked thousands of men before", gun is pulled, safety off, trigger back and bang. Now why did she do that simply because he tried to rape her and she got no thrills from that. No matter how much sex she had, S&M business, she always got a thrill since it was her who instigated it.

 

Overall it's an experience watching both back to back. Don't expect any glitzy sex scenes like porn shows. This is far from it. We never planned to see it, we were offered tickets by someone who had friends that couldn't go and thought why not as you'll never get this chance in many places again.

 

Sorry it's not much of a review just a note of notes I've got mentally stored and beefed up. I'm sure more will come up later.

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Finally got round to watching American Hustle

 

bare sh*t lol

 

/

 

might need to watch the nympho ting

 

I'll say this brace yourself for 5 hours.

 

It's something else.

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Finally got round to watching American Hustle

 

bare sh*t lol

 

/

 

might need to watch the nympho ting

 

I'll say this brace yourself for 5 hours.

 

It's something else.

 

i had to watch Shame with my ex after i told her i was a nympho

 

....this itme ill be on my ones so it defo wont be as tense as that.

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Watching nymphomaniac

 

lmaooooooooooooo

 

not one fuck given on the accents in this film

 

should be watched for the comedy

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