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Your Parents relationship

Cole Des

By Cole Des
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Grafter Rookie

Grafter

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i don't know my pop died

we never really speak about him

my step dad is a scum bag/bum. mum kicked him out of the house

Its like were twins

But yes i do base my relationships on what ive seen. I.e. what not to do

Its a struggle. A lot of people i know are repeating the same patterns(doin the same thing their mum or dad did) from about 19 up. That includes people not acknowledging their children and all the tragic rest

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KayGee Newbie

KayGee

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My parents are good friends, no love lost.

They split because my mum is a hard head and my dad wanted a yes wife.

They dealt with things well in the breakup and I never done without or was majorly affected by it, the most important thing for both of them was that their children didn't suffer and grew up the same way as planned. I think that's the best thing I would take from their situation should I ever end up in it, God forbid.

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Ephren Taylor Newbie

Ephren Taylor

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It's only come out recently that my dad was living a double agent. No extra marital children but had a mistress for years.

My bro and sis are not willing to forgive and forget, but I'm a bit indifferent. We have always been closer than he was with the other two

I can't blame my earlier scumbaggery on him as I didn't know about his antics. I'm not a scumbag anymore based on the way it affected my most serious GF. She isn't doing very well to this day

My mum doesn't give a shit. She was heartbroken at first but she was the strong one in the relationship. Made all the financial decisions and everything.

They're still on talking terms.

Deep down, I know my dad realises he fucked up but my mum would never ever ever take him back.

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Vertigo Newbie

Vertigo

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My mum left my dad for a new man. Took me, my brothers and sister to a new flat she was given by the council.

 

I stayed for 2 weeks then went back to live with my dad. Don't think my mum has ever really forgiven me for that. My dad could be a tyrant but it was for a good reason: education.

 

Looking back now him and my mums relationship wasn't what I would call very loving. They occasionally speak now. But it's all very dry and to the point. 

 

One thing I do in my own relationship is knowing that clearing the air quickly means, less problems and confusion down the road. I think thats why their relationship faltered way too much rancour stored up

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JLovely Newbie

JLovely

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my dad sold my mum a dream. He cheated.

my brother and I had to suffer through her depression when we were kids. Somedays it was a struggle getting her out of her bed/room.

I vowed not to cheat on anyone and still haven't

I recall you saying youre dealing with your own depression...do you think it's learned behaviour or hereditary? If you don't mind me asking that is.

/

My parents are still together after 30 odd years.

They have had some serious ups and downs but have never separated once and currently planning on going back to live in the country my dad is from.

They are nothing alike and wind each other right up sometimes but as theyre getting older I think they're learning to just deal with each other better.

As parents I couldn't really ask for any better though. I had a brilliant childhood.

In regards to my own relationships I don't feel they've had an impact negative or positive to be honest....Some may disagree *shrugs*

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RYDER. Newbie

RYDER.

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my dad sold my mum a dream. He cheated.

my brother and I had to suffer through her depression when we were kids. Somedays it was a struggle getting her out of her bed/room.

I vowed not to cheat on anyone and still haven't

I recall you saying youre dealing with your own depression...do you think it's learned behaviour or hereditary? If you don't mind me asking that is.

/

My parents are still together after 30 odd years.

They have had some serious ups and downs but have never separated once and currently planning on going back to live in the country my dad is from.

They are nothing alike and wind each other right up sometimes but as theyre getting older I think they're learning to just deal with each other better.

As parents I couldn't really ask for any better though. I had a brilliant childhood.

In regards to my own relationships I don't feel they've had an impact negative or positive to be honest....Some may disagree *shrugs*

 

 

I think it is a bit of both, we discovered my dad has bi-polar after he attempted suicide in 2010, we also discovered he had been hospitalised for a brief period many years ago, but he is very quiet,aloof and not social at all, doesn't keep in contact with his own family and us. We hadn't see him between 2009 till this year. He had been suffering from depression since he was a teen in Uganda, but unfortunately in our culture mental health isn't taken serious.   

 

As for my mum I believe it was when she and my dad and my older brother relocated to sweden in the early 90's. I recall her saying to me many years ago she found it a horrible experience as they were living in a refugee  camp for refugees many from bosnia/yuguslavia  war in the early 90's. It wasn't a good place to live, she would tell me she would wake up and hear someone had killed themselves because they were being deported, she was under extreme stress + all this was happening while she was pregnant with me waiting for our citizenship.  I think my dad's mental health detoriated when he saw he could not provide for my pregnant mum and bro - and no one wants live in refugee camp.  After I was born we continue to live at the camp  for a few months but had to go leave since my dad found some wonderful church people who had a summer house - swedes are renowned for their summer houses.  We lived in that summer house until I was about 1 years old then we got rights to stay/citizenship and a house of our own. My dad then ditched a  few months later and relocated to uk, leaving behind a  23 year old woman and two small kids while we stayed in sweden.  Next 10 years weren't very nice for her, she was very depressive.

 

of course I have no recollection of all this early stuff(thank god) but it did have an effect on me when I discovered this a few years ago. 

 

my depression stems from a bad time when i was sent to uganda at age 10 on my own to live for 3 years with an abusive step dad while my mum and bro were here in europe.  But i do not wish to go into that 

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Cole Des Newbie

Cole Des

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Are u or anyone you know of affected seriously by mental health@ jl

Yeah, don't we all?

Can't say I know anybody seriously ill, slightly but functional, maybe.

You know somebody hospitalized with it?

Ryder why was you sent away if you don't mind me asking bro?

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