Fear and Respect

[Michel Kane]

80% respect

20% fear

[tino]

i think fear is needed a little for it too work , 

[Badman]

Fear will stop a lot more things than what respect will IMO

But if you have both you're winning

 

I believe its the opposite

 

Fear is an emotion

 

Respect is a principal.

 

There will always be a situation where other emotions will get in the way of fear which is a conflicting emotion then you would hope that your principals would be the overriding factor in what keeps you in check rather than doing something regrettable. 

 

/

 

Its quite an interesting concept to me personally and have been discussing this with my therapist for quite some time now as I'm a very principled man, however in certain situations I lack the fear and if it wasnt for certain principals I would do some reckless things. I was starting to question my own morality....

[Cole Des]

I agree with this to a certain extent.

 

There should be a level of fear from both sides imo, but not the kind which is self inflicted. More an awareness that certain actions will lead to consequences, so not to be acting reckless

+ When a man talks with base in his home if it ain't feared then boy.

Respect ain't enough.

[Grafter]

What is a woman supposed to fear?

I can be upset hes upset but fear? That doesn't mean I'll fight him, i recognise my own limitations

But fear isn't gna stop me from talkin. Respect will stop me name calling not fear

What should i fear when the door is open?

[Cole Des]

Should you fear when the door opens?

Nah, that's terror.

But imo a woman should fear the unknown.

Fear will stop a woman crossing certain boundaries, saying certain things when even respect is not enough.

I can think of 2 cases right now where there was no fear and the household descended into an episode of Charlie Brown/Peanuts.

As head of the family the man must have an aura about him that his worst has not been seen, very necessary for boy children aswell.

[Grafter]

nah i meant, why should i fear anything when i can walk out the door

 

i really honestly don't understand what fear can stop that respect can't

 

i can't fear my man, i can't fear that any man (friend or family) around me is going to do anything physically detrimental to me

 

if we are going to those levels the fear should be in him, he should fear the fact he may not be able to control his reactions and fear the consequences

 

what can a man do to me that's not going to fuck him up in the end anyway?

 

for fear to be present, the other person has to really believe the worst could happen, and if I really believed that I couldn't be with the man.

 

all i know is im not physically strong enough to have a physical altercation with a man and win. any man at all so i wouldn't get into it like that

 

are you talking about fear in terms of getting physical? or more generally?

[kerser]

Generally

[Cole Des]

i really honestly don't understand what fear can stop that respect can't

There's a reason boys without fathers are more prone to head towards a life of crime.

Me I had fear for my father, not much respect for him because I didn't think he was fair at times, but the fear was enough to keep me inline.

I'm sure you've come across a manager at work people were fearful of, they aren't scared of a physical altercation, in fact some people are obviously physically superior yet still fear their boss, it's a demeanor thing.

[Grafter]

what did you fear your father would do?

 

growing up I feared my mum, I feared cos of the beatings I had and all the multitude of other things she threatened to do which I whole heartedly believed but when I grew out of the beatings and got some financial independence I larfed in the face of her anger

 

at work, their have been people that were feared, but I cannot fear a man or a woman at work because they can't do anything to me and I know that

 

i fear mentally unstable people, i fear men I don't know in situations i need to be fearful in

 

the father thing, its not just about fear as you know, it's a lot of other things, you can respect your parents and still do well

I know man whose dad have fought them man to man - the yout know that's coming - still a criminal

 

additionally you cant compare a parent child relationship in this way to a man to ooman relationship

my man isn't my parent, so why should I be afraid?

 

i want to know what exactly it is a woman should be afraid of? have you got any examples?

cos in real life I've had to ask precisely two men "what are you really gna do?" 

and I got silence, because you can act threatening but nothing that has happened warrants a physical response, so you're the arsehole if it goes down that road

[dub]

I have a fear of letting people down. It drives me but also means I share and promise less.

[Cole Des]

Like I said, fear of the unknown, my father never had to put his hand on me once, can't ever remember a case of him hitting me.

Your mother exhausted that option which is why it had no affect after a certain period, same as those guys you said expected it and still turned out to be criminals, you can't use fear as a deterrent in those cases.

The father thing I disagree, generally a boy will try things with his mother which he won't with his father, that's a fact.

I didn't compare the relationships just the element of fear, I couldn't comment on the 2 guys situations you mentioned other than by putting them on the spot like that you probably emasculated them.

There is a ton of material out there which discusses how black women tend to do this to their male counterparts which is why black women are highly likely to be single in the western world but maybe that's another subject.

A woman should be afraid of crossing certain boundaries with a man, after all one of the qualities women generally find attractive is a mans ability to protect her.

A woman doesn't need to see a guy fight to make that assumption she's safe with him, it's in his demeanor.

Similarly a woman shouldn't need to push a man to his limits to realise where it is, his demeanor should sell it.

[Grafter]

i understand what you are saying and I think Francis characterised it best as awareness rather than fear

i'm always aware but i think its more awareness of what i can and cant handle 

[O Fenomeno]

Fear?

Nah it's all about Aura