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Moving On/Breaking Up


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14 hours ago, Mame Biram Diouf said:

Struggling. She's amazing, all I could want (within reason of how women are emotion wise) but she just does not trust me AT ALL. 

 

That plus having someone feelings always dependent on mine, the freedom, less time to focus on myself  plus I still feel like I should focus more on enjoying life and grow up more etc 

 

So confusing, obviously paraphrased it there's loads more but don't want to regret it 

 

Ffs

 

How old are you?

 

Get you a woman you can enjoy life and grow up with. Wonderful thing.

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  • 1 month later...
On 5 October 2016 at 0:12 PM, Heero Yuy said:

 @Mame Biram Diouf

I’ve been there with the trust thing,  proper shit especially when you’re not on things like that.

The only way you’ll regret it is if you achieve nothing of value in exchange for ending it. If you want to grow, enjoy life and work on yourself then ensure you do those things. You need to be able to look back at this period of your life in the future, and be vindicated in your decision.


 

That is the realist thing I have read on this site in a long time.  I broke up with my ex a month ago and it was difficult at first.  Was a wreck at work but I knew that we weren't in a good place to get married so I couldn't go ahead with a wedding until we got our foundations in a better place.  I have realised that I need to build myself, do a lot things I never got to and really work on focus more on myself.  I'm really not interested in linking at all at this current moment in time, the way I look at it I have plenty of time for all that meaningless sex and shit but doing shit I really want to do I whilst I'm still young is way more important.

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Is anyone here holding out on a relationship because they feel they haven't really really "lived" yet? or is this a fucked way of thinking

For example travelling...

if you had the chance to travel the best bits in the world right now would you not want to dabble in some of the best pums the world has to offer???

i know theres 2,2 man on here who have already done all of this.. am I wrong?

 

for example

 

Man ain't gonna find these kinda tings in abandance here, all we have is yinka and Charlene 

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8 hours ago, Trap God said:

Why didnt you feel like you could accomplish these things in a relationship?

I'm not gonna go into the intricacies of everything that happened but in order to try and make us work I sacrificed a lot in order to make sure we had more time together (playing football, spending time with friends, travelling, etc) especially since we were not living together and trying to get a place. I've realised I was naive in my optimism in hoping that certain things would improve and it's mainly because we were together from young so I basically grew into the person I am with her so of course with that kinda time invested i didn't want it to feel like a waste so I did what I could to make it work. One thing I had said to me is that people don't change unless they want to so I need to decide if the qualities in my partner were ones I could definitely live with. Some of them I couldn't and for me I didn't want to go ahead with a marriage until our foundation was in a better place. Unfortunately we didn't see eye to eye and in conjunction with an accumulation of other things I think the cancellation of the wedding was the straw that broke the camels back for her.

Not sure if i answered your question properly or not but like I said I have no intention of divulging the all of intricacies of what lead me to this point.

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33 minutes ago, Lieutenant said:

Mad, I'm sure you guys been together as long as I've been posting on this board. What qualities were the ones you felt you couldn't live with?

I'm not going to speak on that bro out of respect for her because whilst we didn't work out she did a lot for me that has helped me become who i am today and she defo contributed heavily to helping me become as driven as I am now. Also considering what happened with that Goddaz debacle I'm not particularly interested in sharing stuff I feel is too personal. This was not a one sided thing though, there were things we both needed to improve and that's why I felt we needed to hold off on that legal commitment until the foundations were better.

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2 hours ago, Em Dott said:

I'm not going to speak on that bro out of respect for her because whilst we didn't work out she did a lot for me that has helped me become who i am today and she defo contributed heavily to helping me become as driven as I am now. Also considering what happened with that Goddaz debacle I'm not particularly interested in sharing stuff I feel is too personal. This was not a one sided thing though, there were things we both needed to improve and that's why I felt we needed to hold off on that legal commitment until the foundations were better.

 

So that being said do you think theres a chance of rekindling or no?

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There's definitely a possibility down the line. I wanted her to mother my children and really couldn't see anyone else in that light but her on top of the fact I genuinely wanted to spend the rest of my life with her when I proposed. If we do it will have to be down the line when we're both better versions of ourselves and both are clear about what are dealbreakers for both of us. If we both end up in a better place and our dealbreakers don't apply then defo I want us to work.

I appreciate the well wishes and support from everyone though. It's all greatly appreciated.

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3 hours ago, Em Dott said:

I'm not going to speak on that bro out of respect for her because whilst we didn't work out she did a lot for me that has helped me become who i am today and she defo contributed heavily to helping me become as driven as I am now. Also considering what happened with that Goddaz debacle I'm not particularly interested in sharing stuff I feel is too personal. This was not a one sided thing though, there were things we both needed to improve and that's why I felt we needed to hold off on that legal commitment until the foundations were better.

I respect that bro, was just curious as I'm in a similar-ish position myself. Wish you all the best ??

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Thanks bro and all the best.

 

I do wish I could say more because I definitely feel that men aren't encouraged enough to be open about their feelings. That shit can eat away at you and manifest into negativity that affects both of you and others around you. I recall having a conversation with an old work colleague about problems he was having with his missus and a lot of them were the things I went through. Being able to advise him, show him I understood and even just be an ear I could see it meant a lot as they way he was speaking was like it has been locked up inside of him for a long time.

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