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Brem

What to do, when you dislike your sister in law?

26 posts in this topic

My wife is extremely close with her sister. As an only child I Cant empathise but I leave them to have their relationship. 

The thing is she wants me to have a very close brotherly type relationship with her sister. The problem there is that while to say I dislike her is perhaps too strong she does a number of things that irk me, such as:

- she eats with her mouth open and he mouth slaps together when she does like a seal clap.

- she talks over people and interrupts. It's rude. 

- she is forceful in her opinion/views. Even when she lacks the knowledge on the topic to form a cogent argument.

- she laughs at her own jokes. Not a little laugh, a bellowing laugh even when the joke is completely unfunny. 

- she makes political statements which are fucking stupid. Such as there should be a meat tax so we don't consume as much meat. Despite not considering the economic effects of doing so and the fact that on a government manifesto, the consumption of chicken is not the top to do. 

- she talks in a naturally belittling way constantly. Quite frankly I am far more intelligent and can be an arrogant prick if I want to be. But I hold my tongue because of my wife.

- she takes credit for other people's knowledge/opinions  including mine. 

- she is highly judgemental. For example she commented on me not wearing tailored suits. When I said they cost a lot and I mainly dress business casual she said "your suit is your uniform it should be decent" and then talks about how the men dress at her investment bank.

- related to this she seems to have a chip about working in the city of London for an investment bank (back office compliance). I earn £25k more than her but I down shove that in her face because I have more class than that.

she is a good person. She is nice enough but I can never see myself being close with her because her mannerisms and female alpha demeanour just annoys me. 

How would you play/work on the relationship. I want to be close with her fam. Especially because both my parents are dead and I have no other fam I am close to but.... You get me?

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Tell your wife that, not ViP2.

Problem solved.

 

/

 

Sounds like you are intimidated by her. 

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1 minute ago, FA23 said:

Tell your wife that, not ViP2.

 

Problem solved.

Tell my wife that I dislike her sister and despite her greatest wish being that I would be close to her sister it ain't gonna happen. Brav, that ain't an easy convo and I'm all about the harmony. 

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19 minutes ago, MGEEZ said:

Bro 

 

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:rofl:

Letting a woman alpha you. Is she Asian?

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23 minutes ago, Seydou said:

:rofl:

Letting a woman alpha you. Is she Asian?

I don't get alpha'd. If someone else wants to alpha it's annoying but whatever. I don't try to dominate people. Outside of work I am chill. 

 

Ps. Yes. Asian

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Why dont you wear tailored suits ?

/

Honestly the more you think about the little things that bother you the bigger they will become... Also you dont have to become closer to your SIL you can actually become more distant, all you have to do is convince your wife that you enjoy her company, want to spend more time with your SIL and that your SIL should be involved a lot more in your lives then she currently is... also another one you can try which i normally wouldn't recommend unless someone is expert level cunt (but your posts suggests you are) fabricate the relationship with your SIL is becoming so close that your wife starts to see her as a threat, subtly plant the seeds in to her mind that she cant be trusted with you and make your wife more distant with your SIL to a level that you feel more comfortable with.

but going back to the first sentence of that paragraph it would just be a whole lot easier to have a whatever attitude and even indulge her for your own amusement then do what I suggested, no point working yourself up or going into elaborate schemes... Ive given you some options, your choice.

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1 hour ago, Brem said:

- she is forceful in her opinion/views. Even when she lacks the knowledge on the topic to form a cogent argument.

- she is highly judgemental

Bruhhhhh

These traits alone absolutely do my head in

Thing is once people get to a certain age and see no problem with certain behaviour it's highly improbable that there will be any change so you have 1 option if you're a reasonable man and divorce isn't an option:

-Deal with it

 

Good luck and godspeed

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"The game is cold, unfair, and uncaring

Don't hate

Don't whine

You can't change it

It just is what it is

Embrace the cold

Become better

Adapt"

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put up with her at the essential family occasions You need to attend for her family or for You 2 as a couple, using the "whatever" attitude Ice described

minimise interaction between You 2 outside of this.

tell Your wife You and the sis probably won't be friends but You will be respectful of her family. 

her strong opinions/statements etc, I'd just meet with an "ok" / "oh" / "cool" and no reaction

her interrupting people - if You're taking a backseat at her family functions this shouldn't bother You as You shouldn't be trying to be the centre of attention

polite/respectful but quiet/not talkative :Y:

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just the odd one or two things then?

she sounds single..bet shes been single a while too?? easiest thing is to find someone who owes you BIG, n get them to occupy her, n educate her on whats important in life...abit of domestic violence, the occasional miscarriage, bailiffs at the door... u know a few things to wind her neck back in n stop focusing on you

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10 hours ago, Iceberg said:

Why dont you wear tailored suits ?

/

Honestly the more you think about the little things that bother you the bigger they will become... Also you dont have to become closer to your SIL you can actually become more distant, all you have to do is convince your wife that you enjoy her company, want to spend more time with your SIL and that your SIL should be involved a lot more in your lives then she currently is... also another one you can try which i normally wouldn't recommend unless someone is expert level c*nt (but your posts suggests you are) fabricate the relationship with your SIL is becoming so close that your wife starts to see her as a threat, subtly plant the seeds in to her mind that she cant be trusted with you and make your wife more distant with your SIL to a level that you feel more comfortable with.

but going back to the first sentence of that paragraph it would just be a whole lot easier to have a whatever attitude and even indulge her for your own amusement then do what I suggested, no point working yourself up or going into elaborate schemes... Ive given you some options, your choice.

Option 1 is good one. I'm not that big a c*nt to pull of the others. 

/

A decent tailored suit is 5-7bill. You need on rotation 4-5 suits minimum  I would rather save towards my next house. Adult behaviours.

 

 

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My opinion is you already described the problem in your opening paragraph.

You're an only child...which means you're quite selfish who thinks you need to "share" your wife. You don't. As much as that word is toxic for your kind. 

Look at the list you wrote and reevaluate your life. 

On the other hand no Sister in law should come between your marriage and you don't have to like her but if you want to be close to her fam then you have to carry the luggage that comes with it. She's probably similar to your wife and you're more pissed you have to deal with two. 

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She sounds like a total c*nt. Just tell your wife you dont want to spend any more time with her. I dislike all of my girlfriends family i just avoid all the occasions where they get together. 

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If you’re more intelligent than her then you should be able to humor her, without it affecting you no problem. 

Acting a little bit for the sake of keeping your situation good, minor. Obviously if you want to spit that fire and drop the mic then that's saluted too, but then you have to prepare yourself for the cold war.

Just grin and bear it,fuck have some fun with. I do it sometimes when I get dragged into certain topics at work by these neanderthals. You need to establish an effective troll persona Brem.

I would jokingly insult her about her jaws sounding like two crocodiles fighting when she eats. And do something similar next time she talks over or interrupts you mid conversation. And I would have the same jokes on constant repeat until she gets the message.

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1 hour ago, VENOM said:

My opinion is you already described the problem in your opening paragraph.

You're an only child...which means you're quite selfish who thinks you need to "share" your wife. You don't. As much as that word is toxic for your kind. 

Look at the list you wrote and reevaluate your life. 

On the other hand no Sister in law should come between your marriage and you don't have to like her but if you want to be close to her fam then you have to carry the luggage that comes with it. She's probably similar to your wife and you're more pissed you have to deal with two. 

Nah man. I don't have ownership over my wife to have to share her. Her relationship is hers, I don't interfere. 

Buf I find it difficult to have a relationship with someone that wouldn't form part of my friends circle. Yet being forced

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17 hours ago, Brem said:

I don't get alpha'd. If someone else wants to alpha it's annoying but whatever. I don't try to dominate people. Outside of work I am chill. 

 

Ps. Yes. Asian

she needs to get beat and get gassed off her man. 

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2 hours ago, Heero Yuy said:

If you’re more intelligent than her then you should be able to humor her, without it affecting you no problem. 

Basically.

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No bass in your voice problems

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you can post your issues here this is what a forum is about. 

and she sounds like a fucking nightmare you dont have to be close with her why is your wife trying to push this? dont feel you have to be of course always be polite and respectful but you dont need to be best buddies 

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4 hours ago, Bruno Di Gradi said:

she needs to get beat and get gassed off her man. 

This! This is the source of the issue. 

No man in her entire life, not even her dad has told her to shut the fuck up. 

She needs someone to tell what to do, and she'll love it. 

Bitch. 

 

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10 minutes ago, Supermalt said:

This! This is the source of the issue. 

No man in her entire life, not even her dad has told her to shut the fuck up. 

She needs someone to tell what to do, and she'll love it. 

Bitch. 

 

:lmao:

 

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