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funny jokes


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1I was reading a book...'The History of Glue' - I couldn't put it down.Ben Webb2What do you say to a chav in a filing cabinet?Sorted.Alison Cole3What did the banana say to the vibrator?"I don't know why your shaking, she's going to eat me."Gemma Gilbert4Q: What has 4 legs and one arm?A: A Doberman in a playgroundSimon Hall5What did the German clockmaker say to the clock that only went 'tick, tick, tick'?'Ve haff vays of making you tock!Matt Salmon6Q: How did the beaver get online?A: He logged on!Wez7A wig walks into a bar and says, "could I have a double scotch" the barman says: "I am not serving you - you're off your head."Paddy Maxwell8A guy is pulled over by a cop for speeding and the cop says: "I'm almost off shift, give me a good reason, and I'll let you go."So he says: "My wife ran off with a cop yesterday and I thought you were bringing her back."David Forget9A man took his wife to the doctors. After a short examination the doctor said: "Your wife's mind has completely gone!"To which the man replied: "I'm not surprised. She's been giving a piece of it to me every day for the past 25 years!' Hannah Parker10A little boy goes to his father and asks: "Daddy, how was I born?"The father answers: "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!"Your mum and I first got together in a chat room. Then I set up a date via e-mail with her and we met at a cyber cafe.We sneaked into a secluded room, I upgraded my floppy to a stiffy and then your mum agreed to download from my hard drive.As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of as had used a firewall and since it was too late hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little pop-up appeared and said: "You've Got Male"

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