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Guest GYM GOON

so i went to my school reunion today

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Guest GYM GOON

When the invitation for my 5 year class reunion came in the mail, I almost had a nervous breakdown. You see, gym goon was not always an alpha male pimp with 18 inch pythons. In fact, secondary school was hell for me, I graduated at 105 lbs and was constantly tortured by my classmates.After gcse's, I spent three years in my basement with my cat, lifting weights and eating cans of tuna like they were junior mints. The only time I came out was to go to night classes at a local college. Since that time, I have built my body into a rock hard temple and am also a self-made millionaire. I couldn't wait to show all the f**kers from secondary school what I had becomeThe invitation said "suit and tie", but if you know me, I'm just not a suit and tie kind of guy. I walked in dressed in my usual fur coat, aviators and tanktop, with a shovel. I also was carrying my homemade protein shake: 1 jar of Natty PB, 2 scoops of cottage cheese, one can of tuna, and a cup of oatmeal, all blended with skim milk. DeliciousI walked in, lats flared and my adrenaline pumping. I was walking around like I owned the place. Two former classmates approached me.Classmate #1: Hey I remember you! Hey Sully, remember this kid?Classmate #2: Oh yeah, that's the one we used to beat up, take his lunch money and lock him in the toilets, damn bro u've gone bigger, what did it feel like when bullied u?I felt the rage burn up inside of me. I grabbed each of them by the throat and dragged them into a back room, where I beat both of them unconscious with my shovel. "How's it feel? I said hows it F**KIN' feel?!?! " I screamed at their motionless bodies.Next stop I headed to the bathroom, where I stripped down to my speedo and oiled up my body. "You've been waiting 5 years for this" I told myself, psyching myself up. I felt like Eminem before the rap battle in 8 mile.I headed to the stage, pointed to the DJ, indicating for him to start playing my song. "Welcome to the jungle" blared throughout the room, as I began my posedown. Side Chest, Back double, Most Muscular, I showed off every pose in the book. I watched the stunned reaction of male classmates, while women flocked my way. "Take it off!!!" When I hit the crowd with my signature lat flare, the screams were deafening. One girl even fainted.I put my fur coat back on and started to walk out. Someone grabbed me by the arm. Tiffany Brown. Nicknamed "Pass Around Brown". She still looked the same. Hot face, nice body, huge tits. "F**k do you want?" I screamed at her.Tiffany: Well, I thought that was really amazing. My boyfriend's body is- well, not that great. I mean, he's rich and all, but its just so hard to find that total package of wealthy and jacked.Me: <waving my BMW key in her face> Yeah, I guess so.Tiffany: Oh god, a BMW. Will you take me for a ride?Me: <keeping it alpha> I want gas money and a blow job out of it.Tiffany: <handing me £20> You drive a hard bargain, but I accept!I took her for a 2 minute ride into holloway road and told her to slob my knobTiffany: Here? In the middle of the road? thats dangerous babeMe: Tinted windows, cupcake. Now suck.She knew what she was doing. An absolute Hoover Vacuum.Me: Hey Tiff, remember the time you asked me to go clubbing with you?, but then when I showed up at your house you had your goons drive by and throw eggs at me, and then your real boyfriend took you to the club?Tiffany: <mouthful of dong> Mmmm? Mmmm.Me: Well, I never got to tell you how I felt about that.I pulled my d*ck out of her mouth and jerked off in her eyes. Two shots of baby batter in each pupil.Tiffany: Oh god, what the f**k! I can't f**kin see!I opened her door and pushed her into the street, in only her underwear and shoes. Keep in mind this road is f*ck*ng busy.I pull my beamer about 50 feet from her, take her clothes and pour some gasoline on them, and light a match. Meanwhile, Tiff was stumbling around like Stevie Wonder on crack.Tiffany: <screaming> YOU F**KIN PRICK! GET BACK HERE!The glare of the pile of clothes on fire reflected in my aviators.Me: Revenge is a bitch, Tiff, aint it? REVENGE IS A BITCH!I pulled into my beamer and sped away, laughing like a madman and beeping my horn. I looked in my rearview and saw Tiff standing there, clueless.A small smile crossed my face. "Revenge is a beautiful thing," I thought to myself, lighting up a cigar and speeding home.DISCUSS.

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Guest GYM GOON

next person to say:inb4 the lockfreepostblah blah blahis a raging homo who takes it up the ass fr matthemonlew

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Guest GYM GOON

for the f*ckers too lazy:went to school reunionbeat up bulliesshowed off my new BMWcummed in girls eye in the middle of the road

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Guest PennyTraitor

6/10.would recommend to a an aqcuaintance, not a friend tho.

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u didnt write thatu jus changed sum minor details like dollars to paaandsbut left a few dumb 1slike since when have u ever met sum 1 called sully in the uk???

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next person to say:inb4 the lockfreepostblah blah blahis a raging homo who takes it up the ass fr matthemonlew
inb4 the lockfreepostblah blah blah

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u didnt write thatu jus changed sum minor details like dollars to paaandsbut left a few dumb 1slike since when have u ever met sum 1 called sully in the uk???
Got 2 mates called sully actually, nicknames though

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Guest Medic
u didnt write thatu jus changed sum minor details like dollars to paaandsbut left a few dumb 1slike since when have u ever met sum 1 called sully in the uk???
i know someone called sully lol

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