Lifes Unwritten Rules

[Mr. Gayle]

When in a public toilet and faced with more than two urinals, if one is in use you must never use the next one along. Always keep at least one urinals distance between yourself and other users where possible. If you don't adhere to this rule you may well find yourself being fondled in your private places. If faced with exactly three urinals, none of which being in use. You must never use the one in the middle, when you use the one in the middle unnecesarily you force others to break the previous rule above. When in a public place such as a restaurant, train or bus. Avoid sitting directly opposite someone, as you will find yourself making eye contact with them for no obvious reason. The more you try not to look them in the eye, the more you will keep looking them in the eye. They will then become nervous of you, and either run for their lives or stab you. When in the company of a friend/acquaintence and his wife/girlfriend, under no circumstances should you make said wife/acquaintence laugh more than her husband/partner does. This will very likely lead to him thinking you're trying to get busy with his missus, and you will get stabbed. Add your own

[Guest David Braund]

dont eat yellow snow

[Guest haze-e]

Lol.The urinals ting is so true. Lol at using the middle one.

[Steven]

When logging onto vip2 never make shitty threadsjust kidding son do ya thang playboy

[Shawn_Carter]

Never sit next to someone on the bus when there is a empty double seat somewhere else.Stand on the tube if the only option is to sit between two people.

[Mr. Gayle]

dont eat yellow snow

That classic one

[JLovely]

dont eat yellow snow

[Action Dan]

Don't throw white stones tbh.(dried dogshit)

[Mr. Gayle]

when in an uncomfortable situation it is necessary to get out your mobile phone and pretend to be doing something, when infact you are just going through the menu's

[Shawn_Carter]

when in an uncomfortable situation it is necessary to get out your mobile phone and pretend to be doing something, when infact you are just going through the menu's

Haha I do this sometimes still. If I'm sat on my own somewhere and look like a loner.

[Guest Flat Eric]

dont even like using urinalsstraight cubicle ting

[JLovely]

Never sit next to someone on the bus when there is a empty double seat somewhere else.Stand on the tube if the only option is to sit between two people.

Happened to me a couple times when Ive been on a EMPTY bus and someone always a man...has sat behind me or the sit adjacent to mine. F**kin creepy sods. But I will standardly sit between two people on a tube if my feet hurt....long to suffer.

[Mr. Gayle]

When your partner asks you if you find X attractive, never say yes/they're ok/not half or any other positive variant. The correct answer is always No. Or pick a fault and exaggerate it until you see your partner nod or smile. *Note - Your partner may say "But you've got to admit s/he does have nice eyes/legs/arse/chest" - It's a trick question. Never agree or you will then fall into a human steel-jaw trap that will take months of arse kissing to get out of.

[JLovely]

when in an uncomfortable situation it is necessary to get out your mobile phone and pretend to be doing something, when infact you are just going through the menu's

[Guest TimeBomb]

when in an uncomfortable situation it is necessary to get out your mobile phone and pretend to be doing something, when infact you are just going through the menu's

:D i do this when i wanna avoid chatting to someone on road

[Guest Flat Eric]

I beg you dont start conversation with me if I'm on the phone or I have earphones in my ear.BEG YOUunless i take an earphone out ofcourse

[Mizchif]

If you fall while running for the bus, you've phailed, that bus was never meant for you.Donot call your teacher by the name Aunty, Mum or Dad.If you're in your own crib and food drops on the floor, you're typically good to go. Never in someone elses house/the street.If you piss on the seat or floor in someone elses toilet clean it up with a Tissue, but don't spend too much time doing this or they'll think you're taking a sh*t. Sidenote, its never cool to just sh*t in someones crib.

[Shawn_Carter]

Never sh*t in someone else's yard (unless close bredrin) or public toilet.LMAO Has anybody ever seen someone take a sh*t in a club toilet? It just doesn't happen.

[Mr. Gayle]

Never sh*t in someone else's yard (unless close bredrin) or public toilet.

Unless you fill the toilet up with toilet paper so the "plop" can not be heard

[Axiom]

if u live in west london yr gay

[Guest Flat Eric]

if u live in west london yr gay

LOLLOL

[LuLu]

Never sit next to someone on the bus when there is a empty double seat somewhere else.Stand on the tube if the only option is to sit between two people.

its so annoying when someone sits next to you on a bus and there is clearly several other seats available. i sit on the inisde seat so they get the messege not to even attempt to sit next to me, obviously if the bus starts to get crowded, il move to the window part of the seat.

[Ego]

if u live in west london yr gay

:D

Never sit next to someone on the bus when there is a empty double seat somewhere else.Stand on the tube if the only option is to sit between two people.

real talk

[Totty]

Always use tissue and wash with soap & water after taking a sh*t

[Shawn_Carter]

Lol at putting basic hygiene rules in this thread.