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Do you 'lay down boundaries' at the start of a relationship?


Guest Wu-Tang

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Guest Wu-Tang

When you get into a relationship with a girl / manDo you have a formal talk about do's and don'ts?I mean an actually 'you cant do this, that etc'(assuming this hasnt come up during the build up to your relationship)

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Not a formal talk. But I let her know random facts and preferences as we go along, and as she f*cks up. Kind of in a similar way you would when bringing up a child. Only difference is theres no punishment. & I'm all up for metting halfway on things. But if she dont take what I say into account, problem.I'll give an example. Suppose my new chick was to mention something bout a rave she's planning to attend. I wouldnt say nothing about how i feel about it til she asked me. I wouldnt ask her any questions neither til shes leavin to go. At that time (not when she gets back) I'll let it be clear to he how I feel about it and how she should have gone about it.Say she was to repeat this again in the near future, problem.I'm not even sayin I wont allow my chick to rave. But she should see how I feel about it first. Its just courteous.

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Guest Wu-Tang

Just basically, I notice with girls (well..obviously cuz they are who i go out with)If you dont tell them not to do something.(within reason) they will do it, or should I say, assume they can get away with it, so you then have to show them they can't.

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yh same with everyone women/men/relationships/friendships/associationsif u sense a weakness in a next person, it can almost be a natural instinct to take advantage if not for anything but to show them their weakness and make them sew it upsome one will either do something to f*ck u off out of disregard or disrespect, and then you have to show them the levelsbut u cant go in preempting a situation and laying down rules because for one it takes the spontanaiety (sp) out of a relationship and it also gna get the other persons back up

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Guest Wu-Tang
i dont know if i understand but if she does something u dont like u are not obligated to stay if u do feel obligated u probably like it
I aint talkin about diggin her nails into my back yaknow...I'm jus talkin about behavioural things you don't like/want to encourage
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i dont know if i understand but if she does something u dont like u are not obligated to stay if u do feel obligated u probably like it
Nah f*ck this & f*ck a stubborn bitch.Both sides got to be considerate to some extent. We're both different people so at a point our opinions are gonna conflict. Some choose have rows that esculate into brawls in the street. Some find themself a submissive bitch. Others stay in a relationship for 2 mins & are gone agian. But for certain things imo its bes to just a be flexible but know your boundaries.
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Nah not no formal talk.I'm not tryna give a chick no life skills.But over time she will realise what can run and what can't run.It's vice versa as well to be fair.Or i will tell her a story of something that a girl has done or make one up and tell her how f*cked up it is and let her know i wouldn't let it run.e.g. i said to her whenever i go raving i see chicks wearing leggings like there trousers with there ass out and sh*t and you can see there thongs n that. then i said chicks can't be going out in them leggings without something covering there assmessage sentjob done

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if i see something wrong that i foresee to be a problem i will let u kno about it one time and one time only.. if u keep making the same mistake i may remind u i dont like it (depending on feelings involved) but moretime u will be gone.. i'm 21, i refuse to school a girl my age about what is on and what isn't in a relationship tbh

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Just basically, I notice with girls (well..obviously cuz they are who i go out with)If you dont tell them not to do something.(within reason) they will do it, or should I say, assume they can get away with it, so you then have to show them they can't.
But isn't this people in general?Anyway, i kind of agree with Erting
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[Kay Slay]I gotta tell you like my dog told meWhen you meet a chick, you gotsta straight slap her[Cam'Ron]Slap her?[Kay Slay]Yeah, when you first meet her, just slap her[Cam'Ron]Off the bat?[Kay Slay]Off the bat, just backhand her[Cam'Ron]Why's that, though?[Kay Slay]'Cause later on down the lineYou ain't never gotsta to worry aboutThat chick telling you --"Cam, you don't treat me the way you used to"[Cam'Ron][Laughing] That's what I'm sayin' nigga

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anyone who was raised right dont need no employee handbook
fam usually your on point but tbh this is a ridiculous umbrella statement
i dont know if i understand but if she does something u dont like u are not obligated to stay if u do feel obligated u probably like it
:/this is exactly the kinda talk that gets a bitch chris browned
They get to know during the 'build up' on a informal ting ala Bert and Lieutentant.Afterwards the stabilisers come off and if she drops that is her.I dont run after pedal bikes trying to save people.
Best advice tbh however its hard in practice because theres always SOMETHING you miss out in the build up/certain behaviours are acceptable in the build up that arent in a full blown relationship
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[Kay Slay]I gotta tell you like my dog told meWhen you meet a chick, you gotsta straight slap her[Cam'Ron]Slap her?[Kay Slay]Yeah, when you first meet her, just slap her[Cam'Ron]Off the bat?[Kay Slay]Off the bat, just backhand her[Cam'Ron]Why's that, though?[Kay Slay]'Cause later on down the lineYou ain't never gotsta to worry aboutThat chick telling you --"Cam, you don't treat me the way you used to"[Cam'Ron][Laughing] That's what I'm sayin' nigga
LOL
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Just basically, I notice with girls (well..obviously cuz they are who i go out with)If you dont tell them not to do something.(within reason) they will do it, or should I say, assume they can get away with it, so you then have to show them they can't.
not tellin them gives them an excuse to slip and stay at a male friends house later than what is reasonableand tellin them gives them an excuse to say YOUR possesive over them trust i know some girls that try say this about their men so like i said if she dont know how to conduct herself before meetin me she can learn when i dump her arse.if i work for mi5 i dont need to be told that i shouldnt sell documents of the layout of the building to the soviets
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anyone who was raised right dont need no employee handbook
fam usually your on point but tbh this is a ridiculous umbrella statement
bare woman have male relatives that can tell them whats really goodyou think my daughter will need to be told about whats feasable if I MARLO STANSFIELD is her father?ER NOlike i said if they aint been taught already f*ck em they can remain someones link but not MY WOMANsimplelisten to thisif a woman has a set of boundaries in her head which is universally acceptable that should be her benchmarkFOR EXAMPLEi would tell my daughter dont be having male friends all being round you at innapropriate times and that is her BENCHMARK / MARGIN so that is the rule she should have with EVERY man she has as a serious boyfriendNOWif one of them boyfriends she has in her life at one time decides he dont mind then FINE she can choose to either stick to the rule (if she is spartan woman) or decide to adjust to THAT MAN (if she wants possible head ache and mix up in the future)HOWEVERwhen she gets a new man the original margin should be bought BACK into play cos every man is different but its better to have standards that are HIGH and not throwned upon that the man can cut her some slack on rather than just be out right stupid and think any man should be cool with it.i know what im talkin about tbh and ive had this in my head from time tbh and NOW ive come across a woman that is just as i explained so it may take time but i CAN happen and i dont settle for less.
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Like others are saying Boundaries are something you should have been brought up with and if your a stable person you will have a clear view of what your boundaries are! However the unstable members will not have boundaries and will be the ones who are moaning about people taking liberties with them.... Why because they dont have clear boundaries and allow them to be crossed, and by the time they are ready to moan about it the crossing has been done and its too late!Reading the other replies.. The statement about feeling away about ur partner going raving.......... What the f*ck? If you dont trust your partner to go to a club or to be out and about then its time to call it a day.

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