fuck my mum and the grand national

[The Somalian]

Ok nothing long I am pretty very vex at the momentok so man has £100 to spend on racingI decide to spend £90 on my will as he must win (done well til the last jump)last night my mum asked me about betting i said when she is ready i will set her upso I called her when im placing bets she tells me she wants to choose two horse she remembers the black one but tells about a next horse what starts with two m's told her I aint got time to look that up (i was confident my horse will win)so fAst forward Im there placing bets I hear her say bet on black alamuba (*dont care 4 the name) he was leafing until he f*cked up and fellMy horse My will which I staked £90 on was doing nice til tjhe last jump then out of no where this mum something horse won 8 minutes later Im getting a call about were in the money I told my mum I never placed the bet as I could not hear her and she never called me back she asked me how much I would of placed told her £5 now she is coming up with I owe her £250 talk I swear Im gonna slap this c*nther

[Aquaman]

grow up