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what's your FB status?


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Scuse the title typo, it should read 'what's your FB status?'Anyway, gimme your last 5, good or not....Here's mine

"Redesigning the Knife & Fork... Pics up soon""Gone to bed to read his NIV Bible""Large up whoever cooked me breakfast""Fresh like a pillow with a mint on it""IS PROVIDER FOR NO GIRL, EXCEPT HIS FIANCE & DAUGHTER. AND I DONT HAVE EITHER OF THOSE. SO IMAGINE MY FACE WHEN THIS FEMALE ASKS IF IM GIVING HER DRINK AT MY BDAY DRINKUP.... SOMEONE HOLD MY COAT. FFS"
Hopefully we see some good reads
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Couple others i found amusing

"IF I NEVER BEEN SEEN NEVER HEARD...? NEVER HAPPENED NEVER OCCURED...? ABUDABUDABUDALYRICAL WORD?""Sometimes moves like a ninja around his house when people are in, just to test his stealth & aglity. Success rate? 100% undetected."
Mike Kane has some good ones
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JJ ** He passes like Jairzinho, he shoots like Rivelino, he's better than Robinho, he's fabulous Fabian Delph! JJ ** 5/1 @ PaddyPower for Wilshere to get in the England squad for the World Cup. Worth a punt. JJ ** Anyone up for five a side at Shard End tonight? JJ ** f*ck off lardarse Barry you money grabbing c*nt. Ambition is clearly irrelevant. JJ ** Let's hear you sing 'Argentina' now you dirty manc twats.Had to go back to late May for those lolLast one was from day after CL final, had them raging

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How can people become a fan of "rough sex" and "sex in the morning" etc. BAREFACED LOLenjoyed bbq chicken, pasta and coleslaw for breakfast this morningI know i'm late but LOL @ this stalker ting. Certain people need to chillJust found out you can have group convo's on BBM... emosh!Mad ting! Noone is invincible

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" 7 days...""just broke my huge mirror kmt""You can buy your hair if it won't grow, You can fix your nose if it says so, You can buy all the make-up, That a mac can make, But if you can't look inside you .. (8)""says what a maddd night out! Hol tite Sanique & Akila on their bday nite out.. way too much joke in one night!!""lol @ random msn adds in 09 .. someone learnt the hard way http://i27.tinypic.com/163ng4.jpg"

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* Actually pleased for a very good friend, do your thing!* How can I be drinking then BOOM arm goes swinging and knocks my bottle over, cheers* Last shop before Beijing was a big one + Korean food top notch!* 1 more week and can finally f*ck off to other side of the world!* What in the hell happened to my Dr Pepper? SMH!

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