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Does settling for Mr Good Enough make sense?


Grafter

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i was jus shakin my head readin this tbh, tho she has got a point to begin withThe point of her new book, due out in Britain this spring, is that many single women get to a state of desperation in searching for a husband because they don’t make wise decisions early on, such as dating dependable men rather than handsome cads — the sort who take you to bed for six months, spend your money, rip out your heart and stomp it to a bloody pulp.Her stark message ran directly counter to the neofeminist Sex and the Cityperpetuated mantra that we should all hold out for The One because we’re worth it. “Don’t worry about passion or intense connection,” Gottlieb wrote, “because if you want to have the infrastructure in place to have a family, settling is the way to go.Based on my observations, settling will probably make you happier in the long run, since many of those who marry with great expectations become more disillusioned with each passing yearIt’s a bitter pill and one that Gottlieb, 42, has herself been forced to swallow. Having accepted that she would not find a man in time to have a conventional family, she had a baby using donor sperm in her late thirties. She then resumed dating as a single mother, banking on the idea that a toddler-friendly George Clooney would materialise now that she was older, wiser and without a loudly ticking biological clock.:lol:Rather, women don’t know how to manage their own expectations when it comes to looking for a suitable man. Single women often declare they’d “rather be alone” than settle for someone who doesn’t fill out their (usually unrealistic) checklist. Gottlieb’s advice is: think carefully, ladies. Because, with that mentality, alone is how you’re probably going to end up.“Feminism gave women this sense of entitlement that we deserve someone who’s perfect. And then we meet the so-called perfect guy and he’s out of our league and has no interest in us and we tell our girlfriends, ‘He must be secretly gay’ when in fact he’s just really not that into us,” she says.SHE makes some good points but she should write a book for women below 30,i know settling happens but i jus hope im not in that position at that agealso its no good blaming feminism, and also not everyones definition of perfect is the samethe advice she should be givin people is know a good thing when u see it, not settle for someone u dnt really like cos ur chances of finding someone u do are slim to nonethoughts?http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/relationships/article7009556.ece

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dnt get me wrong i wouldnt ever read a book like thisbut whats in the book, is jus advice written down on papersame as if my uncle gave me one of his over an 1 hour lectures on relationshipsit wont be everything i need to know, but it might have 1 2 gems

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i can see her point, and im sure its ok for some people, but i could never settle for someone just because they would be suitable. this woman is saying those who marry with high expectations end up disillusioned, but isnt that just as bad as settling and always thinking you could have done better or been happier? i personally would rather be alone than sign my life away like that out of panic i would be left on the shelf

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boy wots its saying imo is a alot of women dont have much to offer and hold out for suttin they dont deserve.
reminds me of some audio clip i once heard that made so much sense girls are always saying they want a man who has this , who does that but what do they have to offer?They want a guy who drives/has a car - do you drive/own a car?They want a guy whos smart - are you smart?They want a guy who has money - do you have money ? If not then what makes you think you are going to attract a man that fits this criteria if you yourself dont even meet it. Foolish women .
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Boy, it's like I tell youngers around me. Getting chicks round 17-25 ain't sh*t. Wait until you hit 26 upwards. If you're about anything at all, sh*t becomes unfair.Men peak later than women do in terms of desirability. Alot of young women don't take that into account & are pissed when men exercise options that weren't there before. :D

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boy wots its saying imo is a alot of women dont have much to offer and hold out for suttin they dont deserve.its not about settling for whats below them its that they are disillusioned into thinkin they should have better. looks like alot of u bitches need to re evaluate sh*t.
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Guest Lisa Turtle

Tbh I don't think that I at almost 22 have as much to offer as I will at 26+.Once I graduate there's a host of things I can 'bring to the table' so to speak, that circumstances of my life at the moment do not allow me to.I look at all of my friends and know that we haven't peaked yet. 5 years time when we're in the centre of our careers, on the property ladder and living full lives. Personally I don't think that at this point in my life I would want to have to mould someone. He wouldn't need to come as the complete package, because I'm not there yet. But he would have to be en route and making things happen, that's all. At this age I'm gonna look at my partner and think 'can I see myself building a life and having kids with you?' If I can't I'm wasting my time. I'm not 18 anymore. I'm not gonna engage in a committed relationship with a guy just because I 'like' him. There's loads of likable guys out there that deep down I know aren't gonna be the partner I want.

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Everyone wants a companion and some people always do that grass is greener sh*t.Everyone has something to offer to a relationship but it just depends if its what you are looking for.When i look at my family members around me they have all been with their partners for years eventually married and still together. In a relationship you take the good and the bad and in a good relationship you encourage your partner to grow. I'd much rather be with the partner i am with now because Yes i Love him but i also know how much he has changed his way of life etc than get with some prick who thinks i have to bow down to him because of what he always had since we met. I've changed alot since i got with my partner, my life etc and i know how much my partner has changed from the day i met him to the day we stand at now. Of course we made these changes our self but i know right now had we never met one another that our lives would be very different to what they are now.Everyone wants mr or mrs perfect, imo we develop into that in time in our relationships, through understanding, compromise and truely knowing your partner, being able to do things on their behalf knowing its what they would have done.

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boy wots its saying imo is a alot of women dont have much to offer and hold out for suttin they dont deserve.its not about settling for whats below them its that they are disillusioned into thinkin they should have better. looks like alot of u bitches need to re evaluate sh*t.
4 real i mite have to get this tattooed onto my FACE
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tbh i dn't think this applies to ambitious womenwomen that have high powered careers gravitate to men with high powered careers, becuz wat they both have to offer is mutually obvious /cuz told me straightan expensive suit and a good career and u become the guy that every girl is looking to get with, hoping that your the one they marrywotless girls with nonsensical expectations become yur best friend, but a smart man won't touch

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tbh i dn't think this applies to ambitious womenwomen that have high powered careers gravitate to men with high powered careers, becuz wat they both have to offer is mutually obvious /cuz told me straightan expensive suit and a good career and u become the guy that every girl is looking to get with, hoping that your the one they marrywotless girls with nonsensical expectations become yur best friend, but a smart man won't touch
Not always, It was that guy or the partner im with now, but I knew this other guy would drive me mad because his timing was sh*t. Still friends to this day and he stil late for everyone and he always has an excuse rather than accept its him. LOL Bless him
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tbh i dn't think this applies to ambitious womenwomen that have high powered careers gravitate to men with high powered careers, becuz wat they both have to offer is mutually obvious /cuz told me straightan expensive suit and a good career and u become the guy that every girl is looking to get with, hoping that your the one they marrywotless girls with nonsensical expectations become yur best friend, but a smart man won't touch
Not always, It was that guy or the partner im with now, but I knew this other guy would drive me mad because his timing was sh*t. Still friends to this day and he stil late for everyone and he always has an excuse rather than accept its him. LOL Bless him
the last part doesn't really apply to women of substancebut i wuld say eve with them its a big plus
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lol no need to get personal El KapJust because i don't stand for bullshit excuses but a next bitch will. And proceed to live with drama for life with this dude because his bullshit will stress them out. His Ex, who he has a child with now nothing but drama and stress between them she throws hissy fits, because he says he will be there to pick the child up at 7pm, doesn't turn up till 9pm and has some excuses about bumping into blah blah and the bus and the train and rah rah LOL For the record hes Black and so is his X. Feel for his X though many a time ive told him Okay she over reacts but you do take the piss with timeing and he knows this because i have had a go at him before, told him its not the fact ur late its the fact u always make up stupid excuses and that its always someone elses fault just admitt ur sh*t with time and its ur responsiblity.

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boy wots its saying imo is a alot of women dont have much to offer and hold out for suttin they dont deserve.its not about settling for whats below them its that they are disillusioned into thinkin they should have better. looks like alot of u bitches need to re evaluate sh*t.
4 real i mite have to get this tattooed onto my FACE
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just clocked this partIt’s a bitter pill and one that Gottlieb, 42, has herself been forced to swallow. Having accepted that she would not find a man in time to have a conventional family, she had a baby using donor sperm in her late thirties. She then resumed dating as a single mother, banking on the idea that a toddler-friendly George Clooney would materialise now that she was older, wiser and without a loudly ticking biological clockl98liug0i00the greatest feminist misconception she needs to tackle is that women have the instant right to have a child to fulfill there own needswith no regards for the need of the childim looking at a lot of you porn starlets out there and yr children who will be forced by school bullies/etc to watch videos of there mothers getting dped then shoot up the schoolwomen need to fall way back in general im just trying to think of a way i can make this happen without having to write a book

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lol no need to get personal El KapJust because i don't stand for bullshit excuses but a next bitch will. And proceed to live with drama for life with this dude because his bullshit will stress them out. His Ex, who he has a child with now nothing but drama and stress between them she throws hissy fits, because he says he will be there to pick the child up at 7pm, doesn't turn up till 9pm and has some excuses about bumping into blah blah and the bus and the train and rah rah LOL For the record hes Black and so is his X. Feel for his X though many a time ive told him Okay she over reacts but you do take the piss with timeing and he knows this because i have had a go at him before, told him its not the fact ur late its the fact u always make up stupid excuses and that its always someone elses fault just admitt ur sh*t with time and its ur responsiblity.
i dn't understand, i gave u a compliment i implied u must be a woman of substanceya knw... not shallow know wats really important in a personi dn't understand where this misunderstanding came from
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lol no need to get personal El KapJust because i don't stand for bullshit excuses but a next bitch will. And proceed to live with drama for life with this dude because his bullshit will stress them out. His Ex, who he has a child with now nothing but drama and stress between them she throws hissy fits, because he says he will be there to pick the child up at 7pm, doesn't turn up till 9pm and has some excuses about bumping into blah blah and the bus and the train and rah rah LOL For the record hes Black and so is his X. Feel for his X though many a time ive told him Okay she over reacts but you do take the piss with timeing and he knows this because i have had a go at him before, told him its not the fact ur late its the fact u always make up stupid excuses and that its always someone elses fault just admitt ur sh*t with time and its ur responsiblity.
i dn't understand, i gave u a compliment i implied u must be a woman of substanceya knw... not shallow know wats really important in a personi dn't understand where this misunderstanding came from
I appologise,The misudnerstanding came at the big where you said, the last part....., i read it as you were talking about what i wrote, but im guessing you meant about what you wrote.
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lol no need to get personal El KapJust because i don't stand for bullshit excuses but a next bitch will. And proceed to live with drama for life with this dude because his bullshit will stress them out. His Ex, who he has a child with now nothing but drama and stress between them she throws hissy fits, because he says he will be there to pick the child up at 7pm, doesn't turn up till 9pm and has some excuses about bumping into blah blah and the bus and the train and rah rah LOL For the record hes Black and so is his X. Feel for his X though many a time ive told him Okay she over reacts but you do take the piss with timeing and he knows this because i have had a go at him before, told him its not the fact ur late its the fact u always make up stupid excuses and that its always someone elses fault just admitt ur sh*t with time and its ur responsiblity.
i dn't understand, i gave u a compliment i implied u must be a woman of substanceya knw... not shallow know wats really important in a personi dn't understand where this misunderstanding came from
I appologise,The misudnerstanding came at the big where you said, the last part....., i read it as you were talking about what i wrote, but im guessing you meant about what you wrote.
i see, no worries
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