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LITTLE LISA

rules of romance

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Subject: Rules of romance biggrin.gif For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules whendealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works.Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Makethe woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Dosomething she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the points system:SIMPLE DUTIESYou make the bed.....+1You make the bed but forget to add the decorative pillows.....0You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....-1You leave the toilet seat up.....-5You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty.....0When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.....-1When the Kleenex runs out, you use the next bathroom.... -2You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5In the snow .....+8But return with beer.....-5And no liners.....-25You check out a suspicious noise at night.....0You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing.....0You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.....+5You pummel it with a six iron.....+10It's her cat.....-40AT THE PARTYYou stay by her side the entire party.....0You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy.....-2Named Tiffany.....-4Tiffany is a dancer.....-10With breast implants.....-18HER BIRTHDAYYou remember her birthday.....0You buy a card and flowers.....0You take her out to dinner.....0You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar....+1Okay, it is a sports bar.....-2And it's all-you-can-eat night.....-3It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face ispainted the colors of your favorite team ...-10A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYSGo with a pal.....0The pal is happily married.....+1The pal is single.....-7He drives a Ferrari.....-10With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED).....-15A NIGHT OUT WITH HERYou take her to a movie.....+2You take her to a movie she likes.....+4You take her to a movie you hate.....+6You take her to a movie you like.....-2It's called Death Cop III.....-3Which features Cyborgs that crush human skulls.....-9You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.....-15YOUR PHYSIQUEYou develop a noticeable pot belly.....-15You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid ofit.....+10You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeansand baggy Hawaiian shirts.....-30You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too.".....-800THE BIG QUESTION: She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"You hesitate in responding.....-10You reply, "Where?".....-35You reply, "No, I think it's your ass".....-100Any other response.....-20COMMUNICATION: When she wants to talk about a problem:You listen, displaying a concerned expression.....0You listen, for over 30 minutes.....+5You relate to her problem and share a similar experience.....+50Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear hersaying "well, what do you think I should do?".....-100You have fallen asleep.....-200ITâââ‰â¢S THAT TIME OF THE MONTHYou talk.....-100You don't talk.....-150You spend time with her......-200You don't spend time with her.....-500You seem to be enjoying yourself...-1000GAME OVER - YOU LOSE!

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lol lisahehe i dont get time of da month for a whole 9 months now.... YEEEESSSS(i do get a baby at de end though.. eeeeek) :shock: lol

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omg that is so true kids are omg there should be a public health warning cos like i am now more stressed, grey haired etc etc lol ( oh that was before too) lmfao nah serious since having callum my world has been turned upside down and the crazy thing about it i wouldnt have it any other way lol...but serious peeps wait as long as u can before having kids believe me!!! biggrin.gif

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