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FemmexFatale

Using Your Child As A Weapon

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Update of my life. Been asked for and update. 

Some of you may or may not know about the story between me and Ari gold. Who's no longer on here. As he asked to be deleted not sure why but hey ho.

Can't accept the truth most probably anyway guys update is he still doesn't let me see her and now has a new baby and girlfriend. Who tries to pose as my daughters mum. Had court last Friday. He brought her with him. Dont know why other than the fact to rub salt it wounds. Want to know what happened?

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7 hours ago, FemmexFatale said:

Been asked for and update

By who? The voices? 

/

Swear you were sectioned? The child is better off. 

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Don't mind Drift, tell your story girl..

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oh are You still making these topics? yeah go ahead

but I also want to know if You Yourself are staying out of trouble, looking after Yourself so when You get access again You're in position to be a good mum

no more broken playstations please

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19 hours ago, Drift said:

By who? The voices? 

/

Swear you were sectioned? The child is better off. 

Lol I don't have no voices sweetheart and being sectioned does not affect my capability of being a good parent. Life happens my mental health took a fall so yeah I was sectioned. Just like a broken leg it gets better and I think you need to educate yourself before your throw out these insults. Kapeesh.

18 hours ago, Da Luv Doc said:

@FemmexFataledo you still love him?

I have love for him and always will because he's the father of my child apart from that no. He has moved on and so have I.

38 minutes ago, Lens said:

oh are You still making these topics? yeah go ahead

but I also want to know if You Yourself are staying out of trouble, looking after Yourself so when You get access again You're in position to be a good mum

no more broken playstations please

I don't know what you mean by the PlayStation. And I always stay out of trouble I run my own business and am very capable and am a good mum regardless of the circumstances or what he feeds her mind.

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36 minutes ago, Jayjay said:

So how did he get full access of your child? 

Basically he took her when she was 3,from my mums house. Previous to this he had called social services and said I was a 'bad mum' and 'didn't feed my child' it was an anonomous report but I know it was him and couldn't have been anyone else. They then came out checked my house etc and had no concerns they sent me it in writing and then after that he took her. 

This was after we split up because we argued about money etc because he didn't want to contribute with money for pull ups etc. His excuse was; "I get money for her" so we split up and ended on okay terms. I said if that's the case move out and get your own place so he did. We were still sleeping together and I was taking Kiya back and fourth to visit him and spend time with him. He then invited me to his one night and gave me a scar for life as most of you may know the story.

Anyways long story short after he took her I felt heart broken and betrayed and just lost. My daughter had been taken. So I called the police and they told me they couldn't do anything about it because he's on the birth certificate. I then had a break down as a result of this in the end 2012 she was taken in July before my 21st birthday. I then had to attend court while I was in hospital although it didn't go as bad as I expected. 

After that Ive been in and out of court got contact orders after orders and his not stuck to any. I don't think its fair at all. A child needs balance in their life and that is achieved by having both parents in their life. I'm the one that gave birth to her at the end of the day and I'm not being funny it's been long enough to be honest I'm tired of fighting. But I always will because I love my daughter to much and I always make sure she has a room ready wherever I live.

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Wow this sounds very stressfull for you. If this is what happened why isnt your daughter with you though? Just beacuse youve had a break down doesnt mean she has to stay with her father. There is plenty of people who have breakdowns, mental health issues and still have children within there care, was it the social services that took her from you and gave her to dad? and you speak about your ex and his girlfriend, how is she with your daughter do you guys speak? 

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5 minutes ago, Jayjay said:

Wow this sounds very stressfull for you. If this is what happened why isnt your daughter with you though? Just beacuse youve had a break down doesnt mean she has to stay with her father. There is plenty of people who have breakdowns, mental health issues and still have children within there care, was it the social services that took her from you and gave her to dad? and you speak about your ex and his girlfriend, how is she with your daughter do you guys speak? 

This is exactly my point, there is no reason for me not to spend time with her regardless of what issues I may have had. My health is fine now and he shouldn't have stopped contact in the first place the orders what were in place previous should have still been in place and complied with after my issues are dealt with like I've said before its like a broken leg, it gets better but instead I've had to apply to court numerous times for access. He's been using my daughter as a bat to beat me with for Years now she's nearly 11. 

I agreed for her to live with him as long as I had access. This was the best decision to make because the court said she has been with her dad some time by this point and had started school etc. I didn't want to disrupt her current lifestyle. 

His new partner does not help the situation at all. He even brought her along to court and has done before I appreciate their together and he might want her support but he could get that from a friend or someone else. The relationship between us is not the best and he knows this, so to bring her to court is just fueling the fire. It has nothing to do with her and only us it is our daughter at the end of the day.

She has also called my daughter her daughter on social media. It got to the point when I had to block her because of her constant posts. Which were clearly made to get to me and get a reaction. 

The relationship she has with my daughter is fine apart from one issue when I was told by a person who takes their children to the same school my daughter goes. Said she was shouting at my daughter in the playground as if she was her child and she said my daughter didn't look happy. 

I'm sorry but she has not place to be shouting at my daughter that is her dads job but other than that I haven't had an issue. When I've seen my daughter and asked her she has told me about her and said nice things and I've never said anything bad to my daughter about her I've always said that's nice and encouraged her to feel free to talk more. 

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If you had to apply to court so many times something is wrong here. Tbh the courts would only remover a child from a parents care is if the parent isnt doing well as a parent. If the court thought you was well enough they would grant you something. 

 

Does your ex and is girlfriend live together because if they do and have done for a bit of time she has to be able to tell her off so the child knows she cant be doing wrong.

To the court your ex bringing his girlfriend looks good a stable home for your child. Your child hasnt been with you for a long while by tge sounds of it so for her to be destressed by all this is not no good for the child.

Do you know what the child wabts from all this?

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8 minutes ago, Jayjay said:

If you had to apply to court so many times something is wrong here. Tbh the courts would only remover a child from a parents care is if the parent isnt doing well as a parent. If the court thought you was well enough they would grant you something. 

 

Does your ex and is girlfriend live together because if they do and have done for a bit of time she has to be able to tell her off so the child knows she cant be doing wrong.

To the court your ex bringing his girlfriend looks good a stable home for your child. Your child hasnt been with you for a long while by tge sounds of it so for her to be destressed by all this is not no good for the child.

Do you know what the child wabts from all this?

Yes the live together. I appreciate that they are a couple but we don't have the best of relationships so he should bare that in mind. It don't mind but I just think its unnecessary. 

Yeah I understand that she has to be able to tell my daughter right from wrong not like the way she did and not in public.

I've had to apply so many times because he hasn't stuck with the orders she was staying with me for weekends at one point it happened twice and then he stopped it simply because I took her to her aunties house which he was aware of. Saying I took her here there and everywhere etc just cheap excuses to stop contact. He's playing with not only my life but more importantly my daughters its not fair on her feelings. I'm her mum at the end of the day. And he got a DNA test when she was born within the first month's and didn't bond with her or anything. Now claiming he did it because of the issues he had with me which is bullshit he just didn't want her because he was going to uni so he hoped and was calling me a slag packing up his things around our new born child. Only to got to his months open the results and find out she was his. He then came crawling back after three days in tears. Me being me, I let him in and we lived as a family I had to think about my daughter and then from then it's come to this.

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Ok so what has happened between you and his new girl because by the sound of it you have a issue with her.

If your daughter has lived with them for all this time she has a stable life that family for her in her eyes. 

Do you know what your daughter kiya wants? Has she asked to see you? 

Because with you saying shes nearly 11 she will have a mind of her own and be able to say yes or no.

With you being out her life for so long it might be best staying that way if shes happy and has a stable family life at home with her dad and step mom instead of confusing the girl with you in and out of her life.

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1 hour ago, Jayjay said:

Ok so what has happened between you and his new girl because by the sound of it you have a issue with her.

If your daughter has lived with them for all this time she has a stable life that family for her in her eyes. 

Do you know what your daughter kiya wants? Has she asked to see you? 

Because with you saying shes nearly 11 she will have a mind of her own and be able to say yes or no.

With you being out her life for so long it might be best staying that way if shes happy and has a stable family life at home with her dad and step mom instead of confusing the girl with you in and out of her life.

Of course I'm happy and I appreciate that she has a little family. As long as she is happy that's all that matters. So I'm not bothered in that sense as long as she's okay.

Nothing major has happened between us and I've only seen her a couple of times although we have had arguments and my main issue is the fact that she calls my daughter her daughter and the things she used and still posts online its just pathetic really. She doesn't need to flaunt my daughter its not fair she knows who her mum is and always will and that's what her dad has said himself although she still tries to make me jealous that's my only issue. 

Yes my daughter does have her own mind now and she can decide and as far as I am aware her dad is saying that she doesn't want to see me that's on no fault of my own and I honestly think he's poised her mind against me.

There will be a report and they will speak to my daughter and only go from what she says and she won't have her dad around to influence her decision. To be honest I think part of my daughter is scared of her dad and I can just sense that from the way she speaks to him and also how he used to speak to her on the phone when she's been with me.

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This is a strange one you must have really showed some bad parenting skills for the court to give him full custody of your daughter

Courts usually side HEAVILY with females each and every time.

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12 minutes ago, zoot said:

This is a strange one you must have really showed some bad parenting skills for the court to give him full custody of your daughter

Courts usually side HEAVILY with females each and every time.

Not at all I have never been a bad parent. It is strange yeah its just the way he's gone about it and also my mental health taking a call didn't help the situation. He didn't get custody I agreed for her to live there if I seen her like I've said in my previous posts.

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