DANNY DYER

MY NAME IS DANNY DYER AND YOU MAY HAVE SEEN ME PLAYING HARD NUTS AND WIDEBOYS ON THE BIG SCREEN AND INTERVIEWING SOME OF THE TASTIEST FELLAS ALL OVER THE WORLD ANYWAY, f*ck ALL THE THAT BOLLOCKS MR KIERNAN I AM HERE TO OFFER YOU THE OPPORTUNITY OF A f*ck*ng LIFETIME GEEZER(YOU WILL MAKE A FEW BOB OUT OF IT N ALL) IM MAKING A NEW SHOW ON BRAVO CALLED "30 AND DESPERATE TO BE FAMOUS" NOW LETS HAVE IT RIGHT CHAVVVY I HAVE SEEN YA ON TV BEFORE AND YOU ARE A BIT OF A BOY, ALSO BRAVO GAVE YOU A RECOMMENDATION, THERE WORDS WERE "HE'S A TWO BOB c*nt, BUT HE WOULD RIP SOMEONES BLEEDIN ARM OFF FOR A BIT OF FAME OR A POUND NOTE" BASICALLY THE TASK INVOLVES U AND OTHERS GOIN AROUND ACTING LIKE A f*ck*ng TOBY TO WIN A SERIES OF CHALLENGES, THE EVENTUAL WINNER GETS A STARRING ROLE IN MY NEW FILM "YARDIES & GEEZERS" 1. CHALLENGES INVOLVE GEETIN HOLD OF THE BIRD WITH THE WORST BOAT YOU CAN FIND AND SMASHING THE ABSOLUTE GRANNY OUT HER MINGE ON LIVE TV 2. GOING TO A MILLWALL GAME THEN TRY AND START A ROW WITH A FEW OF THE BUSHWACKERS 3. A DRINKING CONTEST DOWN THE NAGS HEAD AND VARIOUS OTHER IDEAS WHICH THE BRAVO SHITCUNTS ARE CURRENTLY WRITING DO YOU FANCY YOURSELF IN WHAT IS THE NAUGHTIEST SHOW TO HIT BRITAIN? MUG OR MAN? MAN OR LEGEND? YOU DECIDE L E T S B E F U C K I N G A V I N YA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT A PAIR OF NUMPTIES

In the old days around my old manor canning town If there was a bit of a barney we would have a straightener, best man would win, shake hands have a pintnowadays it's all changed you got little chavvys running around chivin each other up over f*ck*ng postcodes or e-beefyouth of today ay?All I can do is keep making a pound note and be sure My daughter is out of harm

MY NAME IS DANNY DYER AND PLAYING HARDMEN HAS BEEN MY BREAD AND BUTTERBUT 2NYT IM HERE 2 SHOW YOU SOME OF BRITAINS DEADLIEST E-MENTHESE ARE SOME f*ckIN SAUCY AND NAUGHTY FELLASWE HAVE LENCH AND LAHI OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE MOGADISHU MONSTERWHO WILL COME OUT ON TOP, LETS FIND OUTI PERSONALLY FANCY LENS