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TNA rundown: Dear Dixie part 2

MrJibbles

By MrJibbles
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MrJibbles

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TNA rundown: Dear Dixie week twoDear Dixie,I watched Impact again this week and feel as though an emotional purging may be required after each viewing if I wish to keep my sanity. So once again, I've written my thoughts on the show. Take them for whatever you think they are worth. If anything, they are honest thoughts from someone who isn't worried about what you want to hear. What you want to hear is exactly what you already get from your inner circle.Jay Lethal vs. Havoc was a bunch of moves and little else. Not a terrible way to open a show if the moves hit and they seemed to here. The only move that really stuck out as not looking good was the top rope elbow, which unfortunately was the finish. Jay does an incredible job of imitating Savage, but his finish never looks good. Just as I thought to myself that the elbow sucked, Havoc kicked out on the three count. Jay is a champion and Havoc is an enhancement guy. Even if Jay had the worst elbow of all time, Havoc should be dead from it. You don't build a star by having them barely beat nobodies.Kurt Angle was able to set up a live satellite to broadcast his antics at the football game, but apparantly he still doesn't have a VCR and hasn't been able to watch the tape of No Surrender to see that Sting didn't slap Karen. I guarantee you the next PPV would be purchased by more homes if it was called ANGLE vs. STING instead of Bound For Glory.If Kurt Angle attacked Kevin Nash's son, Nash would kill him. Sting said that is how he wants to go out. He wants to go out by killing someone? Killing himself? Not sure, but in light of recent events, there had to be a better way to get his agenda across without making it sound like we have a possible homicide/suicide on our hands.If that was the best of the seven takes Pacman did, I really wish I could see the other six. If he thinks XXX are porn stars, I wonder what he would have thought of Sports Entertainment Xtreme. Dixie, between the names TNA, XXX, and SEX, maybe my best bet is to speak your language. Fire Ur Committee, K?With all the sexual puns, it makes me wonder what Bubba meant when he said he was going to put wood down the Steiner's throats.Whoever thought it was a good idea to add a bunch of bleeped out swearing to the show, um, they were wrong.While it's a terrible idea to introduce so many new women at once, I would certainly consider the introduction of Amazing Kong to be a success.If I was a casual wrestling fan flipping through the channels and saw Christian hosting Carlito's Cabana, I would be very confused. If I watched long enough to discover it wasn't Carlito's Cabana and was actually Chattin' with the Champ, well, then I would have no choice but to assume that Christian is the champ and Samoa Joe is getting a title shot at the pay-per-view.Why is Homicide's cousin Benny shouting over him while he's trying to talk?I've got nothing against Bobby Roode or Petey Williams, but so many guys on the roster have worked each other so many times and not been over for so long that you want to change the channel as soon as you see them. So many guys on the roster are completely tainted from being part of a bad product for so long that fair or not, they need to be replaced. One of the reasons Kaz is over is because he left for a while and isn't nearly as stale.There have been so many beeps on this show that I'm convinced someone in the truck must be using morse code to ask for help.Kurt goes into the bathroom because he's looking for a piece of crap, but instead of checking the toilets first, he checks the shower? I think I have a migraine. As much as I'd prefer to move on, I just want to get this straight, Kurt Angle legitimately thought Sting would be in the bathroom because he's a piece of crap? With that kind of logic, no wonder he still thinks Sting slapped Karen. Is Kurt Angle supposed to be autistic? I don't get it.The less said about Black Reign, the better.Mike Tenay just said that Kurt was the brains behind the "phantom" slap. I'm so confused. Seems like I've been confused a lot during the show and considering I'm a pretty smart guy with many years of experience in wrestling, I can't imagine how confused the average viewer must be at times. I must have missed when it was revealed that Angle was the mastermind because I don't remember that at all. So, let me get this straight, Kurt's ultimate plan was to trick Sting into thinking he lost his temper and cost himself the tag titles when in actuality it was pre-meditated to cost himself the tag titles? Then, he spends a month flipping out about a slap that he knows didn't happen so that Sting would be distracted by a sudden urge to buy Kurt a Tivo? I mean, I just don't get it. I will say this though, Kurt's mind games are definitely effective because my brain is hurting really bad right now.ANONYMOUS FRIEND

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SICKlance storm doing his monthly tna slew:Commentary:Mike Tenay and Don West are atrocious. West is worse than Tenay but both are currently very terrible and the worst part of the show in my opinion. First thing I would do was ban these guys from the production and booking meetings. They are constancy trying to explain everything to us like they are reading the production sheet and it sounds completely fake. When Judas Masias started on Impact they talked about this guy like they were reading a Hollywood character bio, instead of just being freaked out and scared. It wasn’t “Oh My God, look at those eyes” it was, “And note the eyes Don West, those blank eyes it’s like he has no soul, the eyes are the key to the soul and Masias seemly has none. Masias is evil personified Don, a souless demonic being.” With the extra hour take the time so that angles explain themselves so these two can stop reading the production sheets at us. If you have to explain angles this much your bookers are incompetent. (More on this later)I would also not allow Tenay or West to talk about anything other than the segment they are currently in. If what is going on in the ring is not important enough to be talked about it should not be on the show. I know in 1 hour they were trying to sell 8 segments in 4 but now they have the 8. No more talking about other angles while guys are working in the ring, it ruins the match and sabotages their credibility. No more talking over and explaining guys promos WHILE they are cutting them!!!! If I can’t understand what the guy is saying in his promo he shouldn’t have a microphone in his hand.X-Division:Focus on and push the only unique element of your show. Give 2 or 4 (never 6-10) of these guys 8-10 minutes of match time EVERY show. These guys have been the saving grace of the company and never get the credit. They offer something WWE does not and need to be featured. Fresh and new is always better than old and stale!!!!!!! Isolate the X-division from everyone else and let them shine.Creative:This has been the problem all along and in my opinion has done nothing but get worse as time passes. The show makes less and less sense each week, and my first choice would be fire everyone who has a hand in creating the current product. Barring that I would impose a few limitations on them at the very least. No more blending of angles. Pick your 3 top programs and focus on them and keep them sharp. The constant run ins and over lapping of angles to sell 2 or 3 angles in one segment has got to stop. They have 2-hours now take the time you need to sell each program properly.We need clean finishes! No more than one (2 at the absolute most) run ins or DQs or screwy finishes per show. Pick who your top 1 or 2 guys are and protect them, everyone else can get beat now and again. Even Randy Couture has lost clean, and it seems people still believe in him.Pick one person who is a respected sane person in the business (Scott D’Amore, Terry Taylor, hell I’d do it for free just for the good of the business) and bar them from production and booking meetings. Once the show is booked and written, let that person read through the show on his own, if he has to ask “why” more than once, rewrite the show, and hand it back to him. Repeat this process without ever trying to explain anything to him. The show needs to be self-explanatory. The only exception to this is if handing him next week’s show answers those “whys”.Failing all of that I would hire Paul Heyman, make Heyman, Cornette, and Russo equal third partners on the creative team, put them in a closed room to book the shows and record and air those meetings. That would be more entertaining than any wrestling show I’ve EVER seen!That’s my 2 cents,Lance Storm

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DINKY

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Kurt Angle was able to set up a live satellite to broadcast his antics at the football game, but apparantly he still doesn't have a VCR and hasn't been able to watch the tape of No Surrender to see that Sting didn't slap Karen. I guarantee you the next PPV would be purchased by more homes if it was called ANGLE vs. STING instead of Bound For Glory.made me laugh

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