FACE OFF Posted January 14, 2008 Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 it only begs one questionWHAT ARE THESE THINGS THAT YOU DID?tell me now while im still in this frame of mind face off comes back online at 9 oclock Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treacle Posted January 14, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 I'm gonna log off for an hour, gotta get home, but I haven't abandoned the topic, I'll be replying and posting when I log back on.Thanks for all the input so far. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TF/S4DK Posted January 14, 2008 Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 You're right, I have done stuff to deeply upset him, but he won't let those things go, he brings them up too at every opportunity. I'm thinking that is why he gives all the put downs, because maybe he is trying to make me hurt as much as he feel is have hurt him. He hasn't really forgiven me for things, and he has never EVER forgotten, and he always lets me know he hasn't forgotten.Ahh now we are getting to the meat of it...Yu had me baffled for a minute. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benicio del Toney Posted January 14, 2008 Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 Even the most destructive of relationships have good times.The good times arent a good enough reason to stay, if the relationship is destructive to any of the parties involved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FACE OFF Posted January 14, 2008 Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 sounds like a relationship where bare things are kept inside and not let out but both partners get advice from outside sources before they consult each other.HANG ON A MINUTE................ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Casper Posted January 14, 2008 Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 I kno ppl who are going down desperate road, getting with any chick just to call them wife, and i can see that they are wasting their time....cause more time their gyal are phoning me telling me about THEIR problems...when they shud be sorting it out themselves No, the only reason we bought up NoB is because the reasons why we've said we are bachelors, is generally, we don't want to rush in relationships JUST FOR THE SAKE of being in one...HERE, HERE....ill drink to that quote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TF/S4DK Posted January 14, 2008 Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 He sounds like a control freak who has changed emotionally (getting softer) thru a long term relationship, he has been hurt, said he accepts it but has built up a lot of resentment for his partner & lets her know it.She sounds like she's changed her mind state and grown up & away from him & her too has grown a lot of resentment for him via his verbal attacks.However they both, share HISTORY & FEELINGS and that is what keeps them together...Are they happy? Well hmm...I think what she has to ask herself is, if I met my man tomorrow and things where fresh would I even date him? Hell would I even talk to him? If no well then its obvious, if yes, then she needs to ask her self the same questions but this time take away the past & judge him solely on the present... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seth Rollins Posted January 14, 2008 Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 She f*cked out on her man I bet you any money! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X-T Posted January 14, 2008 Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 ^^ Im wondering.. Treacle did you creep and get caught?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FACE OFF Posted January 14, 2008 Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 lets hear her out before we assume that because she may of done that cos of something he did etc or maybe she went cinema with her ex or maybe her man is tanner or someone like himthen we know its tit for tatand then we know they have to do what i suggestedCOME CLEAN AND FORGIVE EACH OTHER Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
revs Posted January 14, 2008 Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 i was in a 5-6 year relationship that ended last yeari don't regret anything but the outcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treacle Posted January 14, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 I'm not gonna say what the things are that have hurt him (and I don't think you guys would guess tbh), because they're personal, but what I will say, is that I didn't do things out of spite, as he likes to say they were, although they were done selfishly and without me thinking about the repercussions of my actions.TF/S4DK, I've thought about this before, whether I would still want to know him if I met him tomorrow, and I can say that I think I most probably would y'know. I wish things were fresh, and that the stupid stuff hadn't happened, but obviously you can't turn back time, which brinsg me to my original self-questions; do I stay with him and ignore the bad things, knowing that the good things are good, or do I try and find someone who can give me good times 100% of the time? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X-T Posted January 14, 2008 Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 Its sounds like you're both going in circles and getting no where. & like Toney said trying to fill the cracks with 'hope' and the 'good times' just isn't working from what you say. Theres a reason it keeps coming up [whatever you've done].. he's not over it plain & simple. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treacle Posted January 14, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 i was in a 5-6 year relationship that ended last yeari don't regret anything but the outcome.So you don't regret that if you didn't spend those 5-6 years with her, your life may have taken a different turn, and you may be somewhere completely different, doing something other than what you are doing? Or maybe you may have missed out on the chance of meeting with the person you could have been perfect with, because she was behind you in the queue you were in with your partner, and you didn't get to meet her because you were with that partner you're no longer with...? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Em Dott Posted January 14, 2008 Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 From what I can see, your man is a c*nt at times.However, I never like people asking others for advice on THEIR relationship, as it's YOUR problem. You shouldn't let outside agencies affect what will ultimately affect YOU. Especially when these people you are asking have absolutely no stake in your relationship, or with you in real life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Em Dott Posted January 14, 2008 Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 i was in a 5-6 year relationship that ended last yeari don't regret anything but the outcome.So you don't regret that if you didn't spend those 5-6 years with her, your life may have taken a different turn, and you may be somewhere completely different, doing something other than what you are doing? Or maybe you may have missed out on the chance of meeting with the person you could have been perfect with, because she was behind you in the queue you were in with your partner, and you didn't get to meet her because you were with that partner you're no longer with...?From reading this, you sound like you don't want to be in the relationship. You wouldn't contemplate these things if your mind was set on making the relationship work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
revs Posted January 14, 2008 Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 i was in a 5-6 year relationship that ended last yeari don't regret anything but the outcome.So you don't regret that if you didn't spend those 5-6 years with her, your life may have taken a different turn, and you may be somewhere completely different, doing something other than what you are doing? Or maybe you may have missed out on the chance of meeting with the person you could have been perfect with, because she was behind you in the queue you were in with your partner, and you didn't get to meet her because you were with that partner you're no longer with...?i don't think like that. I don't believe in "what ifs" because all the power in the world will not make it a reality. The point is you have to focus on the present and future because that is the only thing you can do RIGHT NOW. You have the power to make the present and future your own reality.Seriously, Treacle even though you get slewed, i'm telling you this from experience because i was f*cked up for awhile when it ended. It is how you frame your mind and perceptions on things. I look back and think i had a wonderful time with her and although it didn't work out, i have looked at the mistakes and i hope i will learn from them. Thinking in terms of "what ifs" cannot possibly help you in anyway. If anything it will hold you down from taking action right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FACE OFF Posted January 14, 2008 Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 just end it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treacle Posted January 14, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 From what I can see, your man is a c*nt at times.However, I never like people asking others for advice on THEIR relationship, as it's YOUR problem. You shouldn't let outside agencies affect what will ultimately affect YOU. Especially when these people you are asking have absolutely no stake in your relationship, or with you in real life.I didn't want this topic to be about me, as I said, but it has ended up with me explaining my situation because people asked.I know this is my problem to sort out, but I haven't specifically asked for advice from anyone. I've been dealing with this for so long on my own, I felt like I was going round in circles in my own head and needed some fresh eyes and ideas on it all. The input I've got so far is really useful, and has helped me look at things from a different view, but it won't determine how I go about things. Thanks for your opinion though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treacle Posted January 14, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 i was in a 5-6 year relationship that ended last yeari don't regret anything but the outcome.So you don't regret that if you didn't spend those 5-6 years with her, your life may have taken a different turn, and you may be somewhere completely different, doing something other than what you are doing? Or maybe you may have missed out on the chance of meeting with the person you could have been perfect with, because she was behind you in the queue you were in with your partner, and you didn't get to meet her because you were with that partner you're no longer with...?From reading this, you sound like you don't want to be in the relationship. You wouldn't contemplate these things if your mind was set on making the relationship work.I was asking this in general terms, not in reference to me and my situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FACE OFF Posted January 14, 2008 Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 ya trying to condition ya answers by only telling us part of the story this indicates that you know that its over and it is in part your fault nothing more needs to be said other than what you have already been told.ill tell you this much please dont get involved with anyone else ya likely to cause more heartache until ya resolve this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Em Dott Posted January 14, 2008 Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 I'm not trying to come across really negative. I do agree with Revs though. You shouldn't worry about what ifs. You need to worry about where you are now, and where you could potentially be in the future. The past can't be changed, so whilst it should be used in some regards to make decisions, you can't allow it to consume you, becuase you will end up shitting on yourself for every mistake, and then you will feel even worse than you did when you first started thinking about what ifs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treacle Posted January 14, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 ya trying to condition ya answers by only telling us part of the story this indicates that you know that its over and it is in part your fault nothing more needs to be said other than what you have already been told.ill tell you this much please dont get involved with anyone else ya likely to cause more heartache until ya resolve this. Don't start being a d*ck, your replies have been good up until now. No offence.I've only told some of the story because a lot of it is too personal to be broadcasting on the net, I've only given the basics to get some feedback really. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FACE OFF Posted January 14, 2008 Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 im not being a d*ck i didnt swear you didwe are tellin you genuine good advice but your missing out things that play a key part as to why he is acting the way he is.why can you not see that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
revs Posted January 14, 2008 Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 Treacle, if you need an excuse to end your relationship then i'm free after work on Thursday. lolon a real though... the worst thing you can do is let time slip by and hope for the best.hope it works out for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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