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21 Economic Models.........as explained with Cows - 2008 update

Guest LucaPiano

By Guest LucaPiano
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Guest LucaPiano

Guest LucaPiano

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SOCIALISMYou have 2 cows.You give one to your neighbour.COMMUNISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and gives you some milk.FASCISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and sells you some milk.NAZISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and shoots you.BUREAUCRATISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...TRADITIONAL CAPITALISMYou have two cows.You sell one and buy a bull.Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.You sell them and retire on the income.SURREALISMYou have two giraffes.The government requires you to take harmonica lessonsAN AMERICAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISMYou have two cows.You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on onemore. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving youwith nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.The public then buys your bull.A FRENCH CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.A JAPANESE CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.A GERMAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.AN ITALIAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows,but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.A RUSSIAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.A SWISS CORPORATIONYou have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.You charge the owners for storing them.A CHINESE CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You have 300 people milking them.You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.AN INDIAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You worship them.A BRITISH CORPORATIONYou have two cows.Both are mad.AN IRAQI CORPORATIONEveryone thinks you have lots of cows.You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the fcuk out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy....AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows.Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATIONYou have two cows.The one on the left looks very attractive

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Guest DN Braund

Guest DN Braund

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SURREALISMYou have two giraffes.The government requires you to take harmonica lessons
Why are you using Giraffes when the thread title said cows?
them little girls gt ur mind all perplexed n sh*t
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O.Man Newbie

O.Man

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SURREALISMYou have two giraffes.The government requires you to take harmonica lessons
Why are you using Giraffes when the thread title said cows?
Surrealism.
Yes but the title said explained with cows. I shouldn't have to come into this thread and read about Giraffes.
he has a point. cows can be pretty surreal even if the norm is cows. turn the cow upside with udders on his head and milk coming from his eyes. > surealism
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Superstition Newbie

Superstition

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MODERN FINANCIAL CAPITALISMYou have two cowsYou borrow an extra cow from a Rancher, who gives it to you without checking if you can pay it back later. He does the same thing with a thousand other people.He sells all the debts to an Investment Rancher (Moo-gan Stanley).Moogan Stanley bundles all the debts together, calls it a CDO (Cow-Debt Obligation) and sell it to ranchers in Iceland.Moogan Stanley, the ranchers in Iceland, and all the other Investment Ranchers (JP Moo-gan, Cattlegroup, etc) all trade more and more Cow-Debt Obligations between each other, happily stacking up the milk and ignoring the obvious folly.Eventually, when beef prices start falling, someone asks whether the cows will ever be paid back to the Ranchers.The Ranchers realise that they counted in their cow tallies, innumerable cows which they aren't going to get backIceland explodes and falls into the sea.The Government takes one of everybody's cows and gives them to the RanchersAll the ranchers stop lending cows to each other or anybody elseEverbody starves to death.

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Em Dott Newbie

Em Dott

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MODERN FINANCIAL CAPITALISMYou have two cowsYou borrow an extra cow from a Rancher, who gives it to you without checking if you can pay it back later. He does the same thing with a thousand other people.He sells all the debts to an Investment Rancher (Moo-gan Stanley).Moogan Stanley bundles all the debts together, calls it a CDO (Cow-Debt Obligation) and sell it to ranchers in Iceland.Moogan Stanley, the ranchers in Iceland, and all the other Investment Ranchers (JP Moo-gan, Cattlegroup, etc) all trade more and more Cow-Debt Obligations between each other, happily stacking up the milk and ignoring the obvious folly.Eventually, when beef prices start falling, someone asks whether the cows will ever be paid back to the Ranchers.The Ranchers realise that they counted in their cow tallies, innumerable cows which they aren't going to get backIceland explodes and falls into the sea.The Government takes one of everybody's cows and gives them to the RanchersAll the ranchers stop lending cows to each other or anybody elseEverbody starves to death.
LOL
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Dubby Newbie

Dubby

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MODERN FINANCIAL CAPITALISMYou have two cowsYou borrow an extra cow from a Rancher, who gives it to you without checking if you can pay it back later. He does the same thing with a thousand other people.He sells all the debts to an Investment Rancher (Moo-gan Stanley).Moogan Stanley bundles all the debts together, calls it a CDO (Cow-Debt Obligation) and sell it to ranchers in Iceland.Moogan Stanley, the ranchers in Iceland, and all the other Investment Ranchers (JP Moo-gan, Cattlegroup, etc) all trade more and more Cow-Debt Obligations between each other, happily stacking up the milk and ignoring the obvious folly.Eventually, when beef prices start falling, someone asks whether the cows will ever be paid back to the Ranchers.The Ranchers realise that they counted in their cow tallies, innumerable cows which they aren't going to get backIceland explodes and falls into the sea.The Government takes one of everybody's cows and gives them to the RanchersAll the ranchers stop lending cows to each other or anybody elseEverbody starves to death.
:lol: The whole thing was good but this made me crack up laughing out of nowhere.
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