Keeping in touch with your Ex?

[Guest Lisa Turtle]

I no longer care for his welfare or what he is doing with his life

Aint it a beautiful feeling.But I wonder how jarring it will be too hear the ex is married or with child.

Tbh I would feel pissed for her.He is a wanker of the highest order and everything you wouldn't want in a partner. I feel sorry for his kids too. It would be better if he were sterilised.

[Guest Triple XXX]

I no longer care for his welfare or what he is doing with his life

Aint it a beautiful feeling.But I wonder how jarring it will be too hear the ex is married or with child.

Tbh I would feel pissed for her.He is a wanker of the highest order and everything you wouldn't want in a partner. I feel sorry for his kids too. It would be better if he were sterilised.

do u feel an obligation to warn other chicks about him?

[Guest Lisa Turtle]

We have no ties or links so I don't know how it would be possible.Its not something I've ever even considered. I know he went out with someone after me, he didn't mistreat her like he did to me...she was crazy anyway. She threw eggs and flour on his car because he broke up with her.

[FANTA]

not on good terms with any of my ex's not 1.remember seeing one recently and the look she gave me was a bit much tbh.but in all honesty i dont see the point in it. even if we were close friends before it'll just lead to more heart break for either party.but that being said having them hate you is long.

[Da Luv Doc]

If my ex got someone preggo I'd be so f*ck*ng upset and disappointed in him.

why tho? i couldnt giv a sh*t what my ex did

Because this is what I think is going to happen to him and what I've always said will happen, he's gonna bang some nasty girl he meets in a club and get her pregnant. Ruin his life it will.

lol, This is exactly what an Ex of mine did, although the nasty was a brummie chick who was holiday repping in Halkadeki(spelling) get her pregs and he thought i'd get back with him - From when he goes out there so carelessly he is not someone i want to be with. I used to care about his welfare, up until recently where he did something that made me realise hes not the person i once knew!lol Infact i met this nastyness last year, there kid is six now and omg she does that whole ORANGE face white body sh*t vulgar

You went out with a white boy???

[E.A.S.E]

If my ex got someone preggo I'd be so f*ck*ng upset and disappointed in him.

why tho? i couldnt giv a sh*t what my ex did

Because this is what I think is going to happen to him and what I've always said will happen, he's gonna bang some nasty girl he meets in a club and get her pregnant. Ruin his life it will.

lol, This is exactly what an Ex of mine did, although the nasty was a brummie chick who was holiday repping in Halkadeki(spelling) get her pregs and he thought i'd get back with him - From when he goes out there so carelessly he is not someone i want to be with. I used to care about his welfare, up until recently where he did something that made me realise hes not the person i once knew!lol Infact i met this nastyness last year, there kid is six now and omg she does that whole ORANGE face white body sh*t vulgar

You went out with a white boy???

lol Punky your hillarious im supposed to be blocked so that you can't see my posts!This guy in specific is Mixed Race.

[Angelo]

Nothing sexier than when you meet a chick who despises her ex so much like that.I take solace in that.

[prdx]

Nothing sexier than when you meet a chick who despises her ex so much like that.I take solace in that.

u really shouldntif u love or hate someone they are in ur heart and u have some type of feeling for themi'd feel alot more at ease knowing that my partner doesnt care about their ex and stays neutral

[Angelo]

So what you're saying is my love for LOG's is futile?

[prdx]

[Guest Lisa Turtle]

Lol, I don't think Paradox is being fair! Its well documented what he did to me, its only right that I should reserve some hate for what he did. Other than that I frankly don't care, which I did say before. He is a non-entity to me, completely vacuous. I rarely think of him, its only when what he actually did crosses my mind that I feel any kind of emotion, its not even sadness, its annoyance. Its very hard to grasp how impassive I am about him, I just have the most disdain for myself ever being so involved with a monster.I can be very blase and coldhearted about things/people. I don't neccessarily count that to be a good thing.

[Mr Q]

I hear what Paradox is saying and agree with him to an extent. Feeling nothing towards someone who at one point meant a lot to you,says a lot more than hating that person, In my opinion. But hey, I find it easy to dispose of feelings, everyone is different.

[Guest R9]

Indifference>HatingHate is not a strong as love, but takes more out of you+Hatign Everyone anyway > hating someone because of something they did to youJust learn to dislike people from the start, then when they do somethign to you they only validate your hatred for them, not give birth to it

[Mr Q]

LOL.Cipher, you are surely at a point of misanthropy where you should probably see someone about it.Although, I hear you on a lot of things you say, because quite frankly ___>>>Humans.

[prdx]

loggy logs, my memory is as sharp as a science teachers cardigan at times.. i cant remember the things u said have happened to u, but i still see what ur sayingbut u cannot say u hate someone then in the next sentence say they mean nothing to u, ur contradicting urself... fair enuff if u hate someone, u cant help that emotion.... but my original point stil stands b, if u hate someone then they are in ur heart...i find it difficult to let go of emotions but the way i do this is through forgiveness... its hard but i find that is the best way to feel emotion-less towards a person.. a stranger has a clean slate, so i dont give a sh*t about them one way or the other.. thats how i usually treat exs, i bring them back to zero so i dont give a sh*t one way or the other...its not easy and it will take time but it can be done.... i'm not trying to be holier than thou but thats my opinnion... been human tho, im currently struggling to forgive a girl but only cos she lied about been pregnant by me and aborting it

[Guest Lisa Turtle]

Hmmm. It is really hard to describe how I feel and I know it comes off condtradictory. But even know as we discuss this he is forced to cross my mind and for him, there's nothing. Not a flutter, not a twinge.But when I think of what he did, I'm angry. Sickened. Now its hard for me to discern right now whether I'm more angry with him or myself right now for what happened. There is the elenent of self-resentment for allowing that kind of thing to happen to me, but I worry its going to be to my detriment. Its easy to channel those negative feelings towards him when those periods of self loathing arise.I fully understand what you are saying, and I wish I could make it as simple as what you've said, but the sheer depth of what I went through doesn't make it that easy.When I say things like I feel sorry for his future wife and that he should be sterilised I don't say it out of hate. I say it because I honestly think its a good idea. That is how evil I think he is.

[prdx]

dont be angry at him or urself.. i kno it sounds a lil homo but just stay positive cos he's done u a favour.. he's educated u about urself, hes shown ur limits and what u dont want in a partner... its better that u had this experience now while ur young and can recover.. imagine how much worse u'd feel if u was married off or got kids? everybody is brought to their knees at some point in life, be grateful its happened now while u have a chance to change ur futureforget all this self loathing talk logs its pie... no one will love u or have ur back like u in this lifetime... i would say ur number one and ur happiness comes first but it doesnt, mine does .. forget ppl, just remember the lessons

[Angelo]

Personally I disagree that if you hate someone you still have feelings for them or they're part of your life in some way.I despise my ex for what she did.But I don't act on it. I don't carry that baggage around with me. It doesn't affect my day to day life. It's an experience that I've learnt from.Someone who consistently complains or goes on about how much they hate their ex, yeah. But that's obviously because they can't let go.

[prdx]

Personally I disagree that if you hate someone you still have feelings for them or they're part of your life in some way.I despise my ex for what she did.But I don't act on it. I don't carry that baggage around with me. It doesn't affect my day to day life. It's an experience that I've learnt from.Someone who consistently complains or goes on about how much they hate their ex, yeah. But that's obviously because they can't let go.

when i say u have feelings for them... im not saying that u stil love them or anything but there is a degree of emotional attachment or u wouldnt be affected...u say u hate ur ex for what shes done? u say u dont carry that baggage around with u? but u do... if u was to see ur ex with a new man, u'd be affected cos ur hatred was spawned from ur once love for her... also by hating her ur giving her power over u... cos if she was to act a certain way or say certain things to u she would get a reaction.. by hating someone ur demonstrating that u dont have the ability to let go

[Angelo]

It wouldn't affect me in the slightest if I saw her with a new man. I've already seen that.The relationship ended 2 years ago. It doesn't bother or affect me what she gets up to at all. It doesn't mean I don't despise her for what she did.As for letting go, what would you call letting go? Forgiveness? Or indifference?Because me not giving a sh*t what she has done or will do since, I would class as indifference.The fact that I wouldn't piss on her if she was on fire I think is irrelevant to letting go.And as for getting a reaction - No, I'm not that guy. I think with my head, not my heart.

[prdx]

hatred is an involuntary reaction, like love.. therefore ur not thinking with ur head cos logic would tell u that both are draining and a waste of time therefore u wouldnt involve urself with either one to begin with...if u have hatred in ur heart i kno it affected u to see her with her new man cos u'd naturally want to see her unhappy... the only time u wouldnt be affected/ or maybe even pleased to see her is if u saw harm coming to that person which im sure wasnt the case when u saw her... letting go can be down to forgiveness or indifference dependant on the situation.. for example if someone stepped on my creps.. i can let it go cos thats indifferent, there was no real attachment and theres no real act to have to forgive... when u get hurt emotionally that is a process which IMO would require forgiveness.. more often than not when ur hurt emotionally its due to a betrayal... u cannot get over things like that without a degree of forgiveness an thats when u begin to develop hatred.. if that person is in ur heart u have not gotten over them and if u hate them u havent gotten over them (fully) either..if u have truely let go then u wouldnt have the capacity to hate someone. u'd be truely indifferent

[Angelo]

tbh I think you're reading into it too much.I'm not drained by the way I feel! I haven't spoken to her for 2 years, and she only occassionally pops into my head when a thread like this comes up.No decision in my life has been affected by her once I got over her. And once I forgive someone for killing my child, and lying about it, that's a road I don't wanna go down.I have no desire to burn her house down and curse her. Nor do I want to pretend like nothing ever happened if I saw her. I will be civil, but that's it.Don't even know why I have to qualify this either, but trust me, I am over her. And as for you knowing it affected me. I can't really counter that. I know it didn't, but you know it did. Won't really get anywhere.

[prdx]

tbh I think you're reading into it too much.I'm not drained by the way I feel! I haven't spoken to her for 2 years, and she only occassionally pops into my head when a thread like this comes up.No decision in my life has been affected by her once I got over her. And once I forgive someone for killing my child, and lying about it, that's a road I don't wanna go down.I have no desire to burn her house down and curse her. Nor do I want to pretend like nothing ever happened if I saw her. I will be civil, but that's it.Don't even know why I have to qualify this either, but trust me, I am over her. And as for you knowing it affected me. I can't really counter that. I know it didn't, but you know it did. Won't really get anywhere.

u just said uve forgiven her.. but earlier u say u hate her... u cant have it both wayssorry to hear about ur child... thats what im finding difficult to accept an forgive one girl for atm as ive mentioned in a next thread..tru say i dont even wana talk bout this no more.. everyone has their emotional baggage an how they deal with it is up to them... all i'll say is good luck and i wish u all well

[Angelo]

Nah I said "Once I forgive someone blah blah blah....that's a road I don't want to go down". I.e. I haven't.But yeah we can both agree:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLBw28Ojw4c

Especially Bianca Evans from NW.

[Guest Flat Ericó]

My ex sent me a text in january saying "happy new year b, dont be a stranger i dont want to lose contact with you"its december nowthat was the last time i heard from her