End of season Summary

[Guest Bret Hart]

Air-Kick Of The SeasonWinner: Paul Robinson's meeting with Croatian fresh air. Oh how we laughed until we remembered England were about to be humiliated.Runner-Up: Andriy Shevchenko's horrendous miss in the FA Cup semi-final. As he swung inaccurately at the ball, the Ukrainian injured a thigh muscle, resulting in his absence for Chelski's next two matches. Much to Jose's relief.Anti-Climax Of The SeasonWinner: The league meeting between Chelski and ManYoo at Stamford Bridge.Runner-Up: The FA Cup meeting between Chelski and ManYoo at the new Wembley Stadium.Appropriate Response Of The SeasonWinner: An advisor to the Chinese government demanding the introduction of a diet of milk and beef after the country's Olympic football team were savagely beaten up by QPR's reserve team.Runner-Up: Crystal Palace chairman Simon Jordan interrupting Iain Dowie's unveiling at Charlton by serving the new Add*cks boss with a writ after - allegedly - resigning as Palace manager so that he could be closer to his family in the north of England.Best Goal Of The Season Which Didn't Win The Goal-Of-The Month AwardWinner: Thierry Henry's double act with Cesc Fabregas at Blackburn in January.Runner-Up: Matt Taylor's 40-yard volley against Everton a month before.Breakthrough Player Of The SeasonWinner: Nemanja Vidic. Contesting the berth alongside Rio Ferdinand with Wes Brown at the start of the season, justifiably regarded as one of the Premiership's best defenders eight months later.Runner-Up: Micah Richards. His performances at Citeh were not the stuff of legend (despite media claims to the contrary), but he did become the youngest-ever England defender and will probably move to Chelski this summer.Brief Celebrity Of The SeasonWinner: Darren Cann, the 'lying' linesman of the Snarling Cup final.Runner-Up: Jacqui Oatley, the first female commentator to be heard on Match of the Day.Call To Arms Of The SeasonWinner: David Gold's programme notes for Birmingham's match with Stoke which asked 'whether Birmingham fans really deserve promotion' in response to a series of below-capacity gates. The game then duly recorded St Andrews' lowest attendance of the season.Runner-Up: The programme notes of Leeds captain Kevin Nicholls that informed the club's fans 'we're in it together' ahead of the game with Sheffield Wednesday. It was subsequently revealed after the match that Nicholls had handed in a transfer request three days previously.Cesc Fabregas' Worst Miss Of The SeasonWinner: Missing an open goal against CSKA Moscow after rounding the goalkeeper.Runner-Up: Missing the ball altogether whilst standing four yards in front of an unguarded net against Reading in March. Sixty minutes later he scored his first Premiership goal of the season - an own goal.Court Attendee Of The SeasonWinner: Tara Stout, ex-girlfriend of Simon Jordan who 'posed in a Union Jack bikini and high heels, then put on tiny shorts and a revealing top to face Bow Street Magistrates Court in central London' after being accused of harrassment. The Crystal Palace chairman won the case.Description Of The SeasonWinner: "I nearly swerved off the road. I yelled down the phone. I was so incensed. I was trembling with anger. I couldn't believe what I had heard" - Ashley Cole recalls his reaction to Arsenal offering to increase his wages to a paltry ã55k per week.Runner-Up: "No maturity and respect, maybe difficult childhood, no education, maybe the consequence of that" - Jose Mourinho puts Footballer of the Year Cristiano Ronaldo in a different perspective.Disappointment Of The SeasonWinner: The number of erroneous offside decisions penalising the attacking team. The list is endless.Runner-Up: Steve McClaren confounding even the most pessimistic predictions.Dive Of The SeasonWinner: Didier Zakora for Spurs v Pompey in October.Runner-Up: Cristiano Ronaldo for ManYoo v Spurs in February.Dreaded Vote Of Confidence Of The SeasonWinner: West Ham owner Eggert Magnusson announcing that Alan Pardew "has my full confidence and support" on November 21, three weeks before sacking him.Runner-Up: Charlton chief executive Peter Varney "urging them [the club's supporters] to keep giving the management team their full support" two days before sacking manager Les Reed on Christmas Eve's eve.Great Escapers Of The SeasonWinner: West Ham for avoiding relegation via a points deduction after being found guilty of signing Carlos Tevez and Javier Mascherano illegally.Runner-Up: West Ham for avoiding relegation on the pitch after winning seven of their last nine matches.Famous Last Words Of The SeasonWinner: Alan Pardew announcing that the signings of Carlos Tevez and Javier Mascherano "will give us a real chance to compete with the very best teams in the Premiership and in Europe" three months before he was sacked with the Hammers second-bottom.Runner-Up: Les Reed's programme notes, in which he invited fans to join him and 'take these early steps in the long journey to success', being published for the game with Fulham on December 28 - five days after his dismissal.Fight Of The SeasonWinner: The post-match brawl between Valencia and Inter Milan that brought the memorable observation from Jamie Redknapp: "Here it comes! Here it comes! BANG!"Runner-Up: The Carling Cup final handbags between Arsenal and Chelski. In comparison, it wasn't even handbags - more like a kiss chase.Flop Of The SeasonWinner: Khalid Boulahrouz. So bad that Jose Mourinho preferred an injury crisis and playing Michael Essien in defence to selecting the ã7m summer signing.Runner-Up: Michael Ballack. Still a horrific waste of money despite arriving on a Bosman Free as his ã130,000-a-week wages produced four league goals and no discernable effort. Unlike Ballack, at least Shevchenko tried.Football365's Favourite F365 Headline Of The SeasonWinner: 'Liverpool Player Told Policeman That He Loved Him' - March 2007.Hat-Trick Of The SeasonWinner: Peter Crouch's perfect hat-trick against Arsenal, in which a goal was scored with his right foot, his left foot and head.Runner-Up: Either Didier Drogba's against Watford or Wayne Rooney's at Bolton - there were only three triples scored in the Premiership all season.Holidayer Of The SeasonWinner: Craig Bellamy, who turned Liverpool's training camp in Portugal into golf practice.Runner-Up: Anton Ferdinand, who sneaked off for a boozy weekend in the United States after telling West Ham that he would be visiting his sick grandmother on the Isle of Wight.Ill-Fated Association Of The YearWinner: Steve McClaren appointing Max Clifford to be his media advisor. Prompting the use of such words as 'rat', 'sinking' and 'ship', Clifford ended the association two days after the debacle in Croatia.Injury Of The SeasonWinner: Preston winger Simon Whaley being ruled out for the rest of the campaign after attempting to heed a call of nature in the middle of the night during a mid-season training trip to Spain. Unfortunately he banged into a coffee table in his hotel room, which in turn resulted in the marble top of the table falling off and breaking his toe.Runner-Up: Everton's Tim Cahill suffering knee ligament damage after being inadvertently fouled by team-mate Lee Carsley in a match against Aston Villa.Injury-Prone Player Of The YearWinner: Matthew Upson. Having missed seven months of football due to an injury suffered in a pre-match warm-up last April, Upson departed Birmingham for West Ham in a ã6m deal in January. Due to a strain, his debut lasted 30 minutes. One month later, his comeback lasted 11 minutes. A further breakdown in training meant he didn't play again. "It has just been a disaster," confirmed Alan Curbishley.Runner-Up: Louis Saha, who suffered a knee injury in January, a calf injury in February, a hamstring injury in March, and a reccurrence of the same injury a month later.Ironic Book Title Of The SeasonWinner: Cashley Cole's calling his autobiography 'My Defence'. Irony Of The SeasonWinner: Fat Frank Lampard being unveiled as the standard-bearer of The School Food Trust's 'Eat Better, Be Better' campaign, announcing that "A healthy diet means I can be at peak fitness for every game" just two days after a pre-match night of "sickness" meant his "stomach was hurting" throughout the FA Cup semi-final.Runner-Up: Alan Hansen and Gary Lineker being touted for a transfer to Sky Sports and Setana after the FA reportedly turned their back on the BBC in response to their lead pundits' perceived over-critical comments of the England team.Jose Mourinho Quote Of The SeasonWinner: "I always knew one day I would not be a champion" - Jose reflects on a strange year.Runner-Up: "It is like having a blanket that is too small for the bed. You pull the blanket up to keep your chest warm and your feet stick out. I cannot buy a bigger blanket becuase the supermarket is closed. But I am content because the blanket is cashmere. It is no ordinary blanket" - Jose refuses to be downcast by January's injury crisis.Match Of The SeasonWinner: West Ham 3 Tottenham 4.Runner-Up: Everton 2 ManYoo 4.Media Spat Of The SeasonWinner: Oliver Holt versus the good people of Reading. In February, Holt devoted one of his Daily Mirror columns to the subject of how the club had put 'The Berks Into Berkshire'. An invitation to appear on Radio Berkshire was duly accepted, but resulted in Holt's next column musing on 'death threats, abuse and the snivelling of a cheerleader masquerading as a journalist from BBC Radio Berkshire'.Runner-Up: Vladimir Romanov's battle with "those journalists who remind me of those Bolsheviks in Soviet times who wanted to shoot a peasant only because he planted the seeds". In April, the Hearts chairman published a follow-up statement in which he described Scottish football hacks as monkeys from the safari park. The missive was further embellished with a picture of a monkey tagged as 'an enemy of talent' and 'a teacher of mediocrity'.Media Musing Of The SeasonWinner: The Guardian's Daniel Taylor, who, while considering Louis Saha's squandered 88th-minute for ManYoo at Celtic, 'wondered whether Van Nistelrooy would have failed to convert a penalty when the heat of the battle was close to intolerable'. On the same very evening as Saha's miss, Van Nistelrooy had missed an 88th-minute penalty for Madrid, ensuring that the Spaniards thus had to settle for a draw against Lyon and second place in their group.Moaners Of The SeasonWinner: The chairman of Wigan, Dave Whelan.Runner-Up: The manager of Wigan, Paul Jewell.Money-Maker Of The SeasonWinner: David Beckham after signing a four-year deal with LA Galaxy worth a reputed ã128m.Runner-Up: Alan Pardew, who reaped around ã2m in compensation upon being sacked by West Ham in December and then signed a ã4m contract with Charlton two weeks later. It's a tough life at the bottom of the table.Most Improved Player Of The SeasonWinner: Patrice Evra. From being a liability at ManYoo, the Frenchman usurped Gabriel Heinze to become the league's most impressive performer at left-back.Runner-Up: Gilberto Silva. A completely different player alongside Cesc Fabregas than he was in conjunction with Patrick Vieira.Mute Of The SeasonWinner: Roman Abramovich. For the third successive season, the most important man in British football failed to make a single public comment about the 'people's game'.Runner-Up: Arsene Wenger, who, for the first time in over ten years at Arsenal, cancelled his weekly Friday press conference in the aftermath of his touchline spat with Alan Pardew.Mystery Of The SeasonWinner: Jamie Redknapp's continued appointment as an 'expert pundit' on Sky Sports.Runner-Up: Charlotte Jackson's phone number.New-Fangled Sitting Position Of The SeasonWinner: The Eggert Magnusson - in which the sitter disappears lower and lower in his seat at the same rate as his side slide towards the bottom of the table before only the top of a shiny head appears, like the top of a boiled egg above the cup.Runner-Up: The Jamie Redknapp - in which the aforementioned sits, legs spewed wide apart, hands in prayer mould, nodding approvingly like a lap dog as a pundit of greater wit and insight imparts a view which he couldn't possibly understand but is desperately attempting to convince to the contrary.Paranoid Wife Of The SeasonWinner: Belinda Coleman, wife of Chris, who spent ã2000 on having the then-Fulham manager's Range Rover bugged after she suspected him of engaging in extra-circular activites. She doesn't need bugs to keep track of him now.Player Of The SeasonWinner: Cristiano Ronaldo. Just a shame about the diving.Runner-Up: Didier Drogba. Even more laudably, he gave up the diving.Profligates Of The SeasonWinners: Arsenal for failing to score with any of their 29 shots against West Ham at the Emirates in April. They lost 1-0.Runners-Up: Arsenal for failing to score with any of their 24 shots against CSKA Moscow at the Emirates in November. They drew 0-0.Proof That Not All Footballers Are Arseholes Of The SeasonWinner: Phil Neville, who paid for a three-year-old battling cancer to go on holiday to Disneyland in Paris after learning that she had been given four months to live.Runner-Up: Paul Robinson, who jumped off the Tottenham Hotspur team bus in Seville to tend to a fan beaten round the head by Spanish police for the crime of queuing for an autograph.Save Of The SeasonWinner: Jussi Jaaskelainen against Aston Villa's Gary Cahill in December.Runner-Up: Jens Lehmann against ManYoo's Ole Gunnar Solskjær in September. As with Jaaskelainen, the save secured his side a 1-0 away win.Sexist Of The SeasonWinner: Mike Newell. "I know that sounds sexist but I am sexist," admitted the then-Luton boss in November after he blamed lineswoman Amy Rayner for his side's defeat to QPR. "She shouldn't be here. It is tokenism for the politically-correct idiots. It is bad enough with the incapable referees and linesmen we have but if you start bringing in women, you have big problems," he raged.Runner-Up: Dave Bassett, who publicly announced that he would be boycotting Match of the Day after the programme appointed Jacqui Oatley its first female commentator. "I think it undermines the credibility of the programme," complained Bassett. "I will not be watching."Shopper Of The SeasonWinner: Glen Johnson. Fined ã80 by police after being caught trying to steal a toilet seat from the B&Q store in Dartford.Utility Man Of The SeasonWinner: Michael Essien. The midfielder would surely have been a contender for Player of the Year if only he wasn't frequently required to play at centre-half and right-back.Runner-Up: Phil Jagielka. Reasonable whether in midfield or defence, and pretty decent as an emergency stand-in goalkeeper.U-Turn Of The SeasonWinner: A desperate Real Madrid recalling David Beckham in February, one month after coach Fabio Capello announced that the Englishman would never play for the club again after signing for LA Galaxy.Villain Of The SeasonWinner: Graham Poll. Wrecked more decent matches than a Fifties chaperone.Runner-Up: Cashley Cole. The embodiment of everything that is wrong with modern-day footballers.Worst Managerial Appointment Of The SeasonWinner: Les Reed.Runner-Up: Iain DowieWorst Player Of The SeasonWinner: Alex Hleb. Rancid piece of s**t.Runner-Up: Titus Bramble. He's so bad that he can't even win this award.Worst Tackle Of The SeasonWinner: Ben Thatcher's forearm smash on Pedro Mendes which Dermot Gallagher regarded as a mere yellow card offence.Runner-Up: Joey Barton missing the ball by about a yard but not, alas, Pedro Mendes' Achilles. Poor Pedro probably doesn't like playing against Citeh. Clearly written by an arsenal fan but still worth the read, add your opinions on some of those

[8BALL]

Worst player of the season = Hleb?How the f*ck they figure that one out?

[McLovin' Jones]

How the f*ck was that written by an Arsenal fan?

[Guest Bret Hart]

its bait uses arsenal fan language

[MrJibbles]

Lol worth a laugh that was.

[Medic]

lol some funny quotes in there

[Benicio del Toney]

Jose Mourinho Quote Of The SeasonWinner: "I always knew one day I would not be a champion" - Jose reflects on a strange year.Runner-Up: "It is like having a blanket that is too small for the bed. You pull the blanket up to keep your chest warm and your feet stick out. I cannot buy a bigger blanket becuase the supermarket is closed. But I am content because the blanket is cashmere. It is no ordinary blanket" - Jose refuses to be downcast by January's injury crisis.

LOL @ bothJose lyrics >>>>>>>>>>>>

[Libertine]

lol at ashley coleman's an utter c*nt

[McLovin' Jones]

Jose Mourinho Quote Of The SeasonWinner: "I always knew one day I would not be a champion" - Jose reflects on a strange year.Runner-Up: "It is like having a blanket that is too small for the bed. You pull the blanket up to keep your chest warm and your feet stick out. I cannot buy a bigger blanket becuase the supermarket is closed. But I am content because the blanket is cashmere. It is no ordinary blanket" - Jose refuses to be downcast by January's injury crisis.

LOL @ bothJose lyrics >>>>>>>>>>>>

[UN.Muzik]

Worst Player Of The SeasonRunner-Up: Titus Bramble. He's so bad that he can't even win this award.

hahahaha

[jcee]

Worst Player Of The SeasonRunner-Up: Titus Bramble. He's so bad that he can't even win this award.

hahahaha

lmfaooh no

[PRiMETiME]

Worst Player Of The SeasonRunner-Up: Titus Bramble. He's so bad that he can't even win this award.

hahahaha

[Guest haze-e]

Profligates Of The SeasonWinners: Arsenal for failing to score with any of their 29 shots against West Ham at the Emirates in April. They lost 1-0.Runners-Up: Arsenal for failing to score with any of their 24 shots against CSKA Moscow at the Emirates in November. They drew 0-0Description Of The SeasonWinner: "I nearly swerved off the road. I yelled down the phone. I was so incensed. I was trembling with anger. I couldn't believe what I had heard" - Ashley Cole recalls his reaction to Arsenal offering to increase his wages to a paltry ã55k per week.Worst Tackle Of The SeasonWinner: Ben Thatcher's forearm smash on Pedro Mendes which Dermot Gallagher regarded as a mere yellow card offence.Runner-Up: Joey Barton missing the ball by about a yard but not, alas, Pedro Mendes' Achilles. Poor Pedro probably doesn't like playing against Citeh.Looooooool

[Rsonist]

LMAO @ calling Hleb a rancid piece of sh*t.

[BATTY BOY BUM BANDIT]

LOL.But he boyed Ballack, and thats not on.I take back my 'LOL'

[Mr Q]

Football365 gives me too much jokes.

[Lenny]

Worst Player Of The SeasonRunner-Up: Titus Bramble. He's so bad that he can't even win this award.

hahahaha

ewegwefefesfsrenm,kg,STOP ITBIGGEST BOYMENT IN HIS CAREER

[Sleepz]

Profligates Of The SeasonWinners: Arsenal for failing to score with any of their 29 shots against West Ham at the Emirates in April. They lost 1-0.Runners-Up: Arsenal for failing to score with any of their 24 shots against CSKA Moscow at the Emirates in November. They drew 0-0.Cesc Fabregas' Worst Miss Of The SeasonWinner: Missing an open goal against CSKA Moscow after rounding the goalkeeper.Runner-Up: Missing the ball altogether whilst standing four yards in front of an unguarded net against Reading in March. Sixty minutes later he scored his first Premiership goal of the season - an own goal.

Mugging arsenals life away

[Guest roskie_07]

lol at ashley coleman's an utter c*nt

for real,but his wifey is nice doe