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friends in controllin relationships

smaddy

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smaddy Newbie

smaddy

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this girl i kno, her man is significantly older than her, and overly controllin and shes too dumb to see ithe has a key to her flat and shows up anytime anyhow, wid da man dem or whoever and she dont have a key to hisshe gave him the key when they hadnt been goin out that long, its bin a year nowbare stupidness happpened and i ended up askin her why he has a key and she dontshes all larfin "i dont kno yakna, i ain really got an answer for you"i left it there cos i didnt wanna ask in the first place, but the situation was so f*ckries i wanned her to question herselfthen like shes always sayin how we should go out and stuff, and fully sets a time date and place, this is her instigating yhthen when it comes down to it, we're there and she ain, call her, tex her no answerfew days later shes like o me and *boy with a ridiculous name* had an argument or he came round and we jus stayed iny cant she tex or answer her fone, whats so hard?thats another thing he has a silly yet VERY unique name, and she prounounces it in a different way to what it iswhy? because theres another yout in the ends with the same name but hes a d*ckhead, so her man dont want her to get confusedits like his name is potayto, but she pronounces it potarto cos the other potayto is a prickcant she see its the same guy?finally but not, they went on holiday together, he never lets her take photos of him, so on holiday he friggin takes bare video footage and tells her hes gna make stills from it but never doesso she cant show pictures to no one she knowso and i went to her house to get something with her, and he was there but she never knew, i wernt gna stay anyway so i got the thing and left, then she tex me sayin "he wanned you to stay so he can make sure shes keepin the correct company"anywayhas anyone got a friend like this?or are any of you man on this controllin flex, or any of your bredrinsnothing u can do but stay out of it inniti jus think its terribly terribly sad

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smaddy Newbie

smaddy

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these type of people never find outto be like this at such a young age, she jus gna continueshes academically smart but overly on this, my mans a badman flexhes a big rarsin man but dont have no real joband ive had certain man try this controllin business on me, soon as i pick up the phone"where are ya?....dont foookin lie to meee"..."i can see you"jus had to flip the script one day me - "where are you?"him "who the f*ck do u think your talkin to""you, you prick, where are you"if hes gna lie them i am too u c, until he realises dont f*ck with me, or the relationship endsi jus dont kno howwwwwwwww, u can let someone run u like that, but as i said i doubt she will change i kno big women on the sam flex

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Cipher Newbie

Cipher

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biggrin.gifknow a couple girls that have been in the situation.meh, some peeps are just a push over.*calls up hoes and makes sure they're all on the corner*lol @ using a phone still.
lol@not havin a pager in 08
lol @ not using a coconut with a vine attatched to it to make calls
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Scorpzz Newbie

Scorpzz

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biggrin.gif know a couple girls that have been in the situation.meh, some peeps are just a push over.*calls up hoes and makes sure they're all on the corner*lol @ using a phone still.
lol@not havin a pager in 08
lol @ not using a coconut with a vine attatched to it to make calls
lol @ thinkn ill let my hoes use money on a phonebox to call melol @ not throwin a coconut with a note in it at yr hoes.
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Cipher Newbie

Cipher

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biggrin.gif know a couple girls that have been in the situation.meh, some peeps are just a push over.*calls up hoes and makes sure they're all on the corner*lol @ using a phone still.
lol@not havin a pager in 08
lol @ not using a coconut with a vine attatched to it to make calls
lol @ thinkn ill let my hoes use money on a phonebox to call melol @ not throwin a coconut with a note in it at yr hoes.
lol @ thinking I give them money, the other end of the vine is attatched to their necklol @ wasting a perfectly good raping coconut on a stank-ho
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qks Newbie

qks

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i know a girl in this sh*ther man dont let her talk to nobodyswitches on her when hes fones engagedteefs her sim card when she"acts up"hits hertried to tell her but she na listen chatting sh*t about its just cos he careslef em init they will find out the HARD WAY

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smaddy Newbie

smaddy

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i know a girl in this sh*ther man dont let her talk to nobodyswitches on her when hes fones engagedteefs her sim card when she"acts up"hits hertried to tell her but she na listen chatting sh*t about its just cos he careslef em init they will find out the HARD WAY
shake my head
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Ella Newbie

Ella

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smh @ girls like this.I had/have a friend like this. It got to the point where she cut me and her other friends off for a year, then she called me a few weeks ago asking for advice cos she's gotten herself into a nice big mess and she's cottoned on to the fact that he was controlling her yadda yadda yadda.

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LIQUID Newbie

LIQUID

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as sad as this is u have to let them figure it out for themselves. i kno bare ppl who are in these type of situations and im always the councillor to everybody (if i charged i'd be rich). their self esteem is rock bottom and if u or anyone else tries to tell them that there in a relationSHIT, they'll see it as u trying to ruin there happyness.more time u will lose touch with them because thats the level of control the other person (usually guy) has over them. they're standing too close to the elephant all they're seeing is grey. hopefully given time they will see it for what it is and wisen up, and if u are a TRUE friend u'll be there for them at this time because thats when they'll need u, to help keep them strong enough to move on.u can only help if they want to be helped, eventualy they will come around, just be patient with her smaddz. if it all long for u just cut her off now so she dont assume she'll have ur support as a friend, plus u wont get pestered with her probs either biggrin.gif

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smaddy Newbie

smaddy

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yh see what your sayini wont cut her off and she dont really pester me or ask for advicejus some of the stories she had and the stuff she tells me, i think bwoyyjus like today the goin out thing, she was on it then she wanned to go cinema and then all of a sudden she dont wanna do nuffin, her man has the film on dvdshes menna come round 2moro, we will see

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